Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I have had phone sex with a girl

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Islamic limits apply over the phone, too!

Assalamwaaliykum. .

I have done a phone sex with a girl. I'm against the sex, so I always say to her that I'll never have a physical with her since she did not know zina is committing a big sin. I said her if I meet her and do such an activity then slap me. I explained all the things about zina.. we promised together that finally we'll not do zina anyways. But on phone we talk and she touched herself. When she then go to washroom, blood is coming out. I am fear of while doing that she broke her hymen or her nail scratched herself. I think she has lost her virginity. I am still in fear. Help me what I have done.. is it a zina? I make promise to Allah I'll not go for zina and always thanks to Allah to protect from such a big sin but I am confused that I have done actually zina on phone.. I say sorry about this to her... and I ask for forgiveness in dua. Allah forgive me.. Ameen

confuse123


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11 Responses »

  1. Assalaamu Alaykum,

    I just want to address the technical aspects of what you posted. While it may very well be that she may have torn her hymen or scratched it with her finger while doing what she did, this is NOT the same as losing her virginity.

    I repeat, the hymen is NOT a woman's virginity. So losing a hymen or damaging it in some way that did not involve a men's sex organ, it is NOT losing her virginity.

    A woman can only lose her virginity in one way- having sexual intercourse with a man. Penile penetration. That's it. Some women are born without hymens. Some women lose their hymen well before they have sex, for any number of reasons. That doesn't make them non-virgins.

    You didn't have sex with her, so you are not guilty of taking her virginity. You did sin in the phone sex and haraam talking with her. Yes. You need to repent of that, as you know. And stop talking to her. Period.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • If a married woman

      did phone sex with the stranger (because she is nt satisfied with her husband performance). she masterbated n discharged during phone sex with a stranger ..later on she repent and regrets doing it and stopped it because she doesn't want Allah to be angry with her. is it a zina??? Will Allah forgive her??????

      • As-salamu alaykum sister. It is not the full zinaa but it is a type of zinaa. And certainly it is a major sin and a betrayal of your husband. Alhamdulillah that you stopped doing it and that you regret it. Yes, Allah will forgive you. Make a full tawbah, which means that you ask Allah's forgiveness, you feel ashamed of the action, and you plan never to do it again. Some people will tell you that you should tell your husband, but they are wrong. If you do, it will destroy your marriage. We must take the path of least harm. That's why the Prophet (sws) told us that if Allah has concealed our sins, we should not reveal them.

        Allah will forgie you. Just purify yourself and don't do these things again.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. assalamu alaikum..
    I jst wn2 knw wn vl my qustn vl publsh..i nd a advc..abt itikaaf..n abt 4gvns..did my post submitd??it is shwng pending.

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Your question is in the queue and will be published in turn, inshaAllah. At the moment, the waiting time between submission and publication is around two weeks. In the meantime, try searching our archives, as we may have already published questions on similar issues. You are also welcome to offer advice to others.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  3. Salaam,

    First, may be she stimulated her own monthly period. At times, when I read these questions, I wonder if people are real or if they are just kidding. Who knows, only Allah knows better. I feel like some are asking and honestly this is what I read" ..... help me there is a fire burning, I am not sure if I should jump in the fire and run against the fire, ... help me... the fire does not look like it is hot..." Let me know if I should jump and run away. Honestly, we all know what Allah said, what is right or wrong..
    Do you think having a sex phone is something that will please you?
    Answer is yes
    Is the phone sex will please Allah?
    Answer is No

    Now you figure it out.
    Hope you do the right think in the eyes of Allah! May Allah forgive me and forgive all of us!!

    Wasalaam,
    Amssa

  4. Brother it is haraam, you should not do that, once the companion came to prophet, and prophet said you hqve committed zina, companion replied no no , prophet said while comming here you were starring at slave girl right, companion said yes, prophet replied starring at non mehram is haram qnd equal to zina.

    So my brother starring on girl is equal to zina then talking about sex on phone is also equal to zina, how can you say that you are protected from it from allah, is that mean allah has given permission to phone sex and protecting you from doing it physically, dont fool us, yourself and allah, stop it talking to non mehram is haraam.

    May allah forgive us all
    Ameen

  5. If you really stop it then you are protected, listen to your heart always, please protect yourself and leave her to live her own life and tell her to do namaz and fasting, and stop talking and thinking about it.

  6. thts gud dt u prmsd allah dt u wont do that again...brother the wrong path alwys luk temptatng...n the rght path alwys luk dificult for many of us..it is we who have to decide what to chose..the wrng path whch is full of wrng thngs whch vl spoil our akhirat or a rght path whch is full of blessngs whch vl make our akhirat gud..v cme here nt to please ppl bt to please allah..u also knw wt u did ws wrng dts u repent..the main thng for a belvr is to know that he did a sin n he is guilty of it...u shud pry 2 allah wd full sincerty 2 4gv u..mke lots of tauba in dz glorious mnt of ramzan..in sha allah..allah vl hv mercy on u n vl 4gv u..n plz dnt ever do such thngs in futre..as hw much it seems temptatng..allah is wtchng us..allah's knws best.
    jazak allah khair.

  7. sory for the inconveince brother wael..will try to do what you said..can anyone please tell me wheather we can pray shukrana namaz regularly..to thanks allah for the blessings which he bestow upon us...jazak allah khair.

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