Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I hope my sister dies

sisters, arguing, fight, annoyed, ignore, girls, family problem

Sisters against one another

My name is H. i am 12 😓😓 its 23.12 just 15 mins ago i had big big fight with my fat older sister i hate her sooo much that i wisj death upon her🤧🤧 She called me skinny,aneroxic,boney, dumb, she says” u get bullied by other girls poor you”, she says u failed in your test shame😓 all those words she just said and she got my makeup and smashed it . She is 18 and my mum wants her out her life she is useless!! IM CRYING EVERYDAY CAUSE OF HER CALLING ME SKINNY I JUST WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE

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11 Responses »

  1. Salaam alaikum
    Dont take your life.
    Give it to someone who would really want it. You know like all those kids in syria or iraq or burma. Make a list of what you have and enjoy and what those kids have an enjoy. The point is to appreciate what you do have and try to stop thinking about what makes you think you need to end your life. Great news. When your grown up you can move away from your sister and not deal with her.
    True story

  2. Dear Sister: I think you should take a short time out. You just had an argument with someone and you are in a state because of it. This is something that happens to everyone. And the best advice is to go for a walk, turn on some music and dance or just run in place. Just burn off that stuff while you are alone, by yourself. Don't interact with your sister. This is not a good time.

    There are some serious problems going on between you and your sister and with your mom somehow not addressing what is going on with her daughters. There are so many reasons for this that you or I know nothing about. But tell your mom you are upset about what is going on and let her know you need her advice.

    I am curious why you have makeup. You are only 12. I hope it is only lip gloss, since a 12 year old does not need makeup. If you like to do girly things for yourself, maybe you can get henna which is more appropriate. Regardless, your sister does not have the right to destroy your things, no matter what it is. You should certainly tell your mother that you want to be paid back for what your sister destroyed.

    It is hard being a pre-teen or teenager. But you still have an obligation to behave and conduct yourself like a decent Muslim girl. You are wrong to call your sister fat. There seems to be some kind of issues going on because your sister might be heavy and you are not. Many young women who think they are not beautiful have anger towards women they know who they think are beautiful. As if we all picked our physical appearance. That is from Allah.

    While you say you want to commit suicide, it may actually be that you just want your pain to end. I think you need someone to talk to you without any judgment and lecturing. Someone to listen to your concerns and to offer you good advice. I am a Muslim woman with good references and I am willing to sort of be your Anonymous Auntie to email you about stuff going on around you that you seem to have no control over, to be an adult friend. To be someone you can really talk to and not have to feel you are being talked down to. Every young girl (and grown up woman for that matter) does need that in her life: A trusted friend with good sense. A grown up woman with sincere concern about you, willing to support you and be a grown up friend, a mentor.

    Can you reach out to me somehow to let me know how things turn out. I don't know how to give you my contact info privately. Maybe the Admin people here can send you my e-mail. I would like to continue communicating with you. As I said, I know it is hard being a young Muslim teenager. It's not easy. Maybe I can share with you some tips to help you get through this difficult moment. And the next few years. I am here for you. I am an older American Muslimah living in the New York City area and although you may not think what I have to say is of any value, I am your sister in Islam. Hang in there.

    Try making a two rakah salah to shake off the anger and ask Allah for His help. He will never ever fail you.

  3. You sound really annoying

    • Are you serious right now??

      This young girl came here in need of help and is obviously in a lot of pain because she actually mentioned the option of suicide in her post, and you call her annoying? She's already not feeling good because of the harsh words of her sister so she doesn't need that kind of stuff on the internet.

  4. Salam beta you shouldn't think about leaving fight with her, rather you try not to stay away from her or avoiding her reactions but just forgive her and make other ways to lead a good life or try to be her best friend.

  5. Ooops
    O dear lil sister, thats not good u think and hope for ur sister
    Hmm well u have to know its happening to every family, fighting with sister or brother all this things happened with me too
    I don't know how many times i fighted with my brother when i was in ur age,,,
    Hehehe my elder brother was always calling me stupid aaah i was hatting this too much that time
    Sometimes we fighted like we are boxing champion and must hit eachother more than he do Hehehe just for something small ...
    So don't be worry too much,
    After all she is ur elder sister,,,
    Remember if u both outside of ur home and when everyone hate u, there will be ur sister who will be standing with you every time and will fight for u too

    So just go to her tel her u r forgive her for calling u skinny whatever and hug her, and give hi5
    Im sure next day she will bring gifts for u , or will buy for u what she smashed like ur makeup ‍❤‍

    Have great day

  6. Hahahaha a sibling issue. The reason why i find it funny is because i had the same probs as a kid. I had intense fights and arguments with my two older brothers xD. My oldest brother used to pluck hair out my head, pinch me, or call me names and i used to scream and try to attack him, along with the younger (but older than me) brother who used to call me dumb and laugh about it.

    It's hilarious because at that time i thought i was living hell, but again, as time goes by things change. Your siblings start to respect you slowly as you get older :P. If not, then it's still alright because you'll eventually move on with your life and get your own house. So anyway you've still got a lot to go through in life and learn hun. So be strong. Shes probably trying to annoy you for fun. And again Its absolutely normal to argue with your siblings, everyone does it. Focus in school. You'll be alright, insha'Allah.

    • Islamsbliss,

      You write:

      "Shes probably trying to annoy you for fun."

      Annoying other people should not be "fun" no matter what age you are. Bullies need to be stopped in their tracks at a young age so they do not become full grown adult bullies who hurt others in the workplace and in their own families. I don't think it is a good idea to invalidate this girl's feelings by saying that her sister is "just having some fun" with her.

      And Allah knows best,

      Nor

      • Aslamualaykum.

        Well frankly i didn't mean to offend anyone, or her. But my point was that almost every person i know of that has older or younger siblings have been through quite a lot of fights and arguments between each other and i for one have been too. Honestly i just happened to go through one of those nostalgic dreams about my childhood of when i too was bullied quite a lot by my brothers.

        • See if i wrote a post when i was 12 (or even 15 and up) years old, i would have written a whole story of how depressing my life was.

          • But my prayers are out for you lil sister. May Allah help you get out of the hard times and help you to be patient (make you stronger) through life's obstacles. Ameen.

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