I just discovered that my husband has a “love child” from 14 years ago
I have been married to my husband for ten years it has been very good. I am his second wife, we have one child and were planning for a second. Couple of months ago out of the blue I was contacted by this woman claiming to have his child from 14 years ago. I was very upset and confronted my husband about it.
He has admitted that this Muslim woman and he have committed zinaa on several occasions 14 years ago, while both were married to other partners. According to him the relationship was ended when she announced that she is pregnant. He made it very clear that he did not want the child; however she kept the child against his advice. According to him she deliberately got herself pregnant, so that he would marry her.
And now this woman wants him to see this child on regular basis and I don't want this. She is not good women in last 13 years she had several other partners; I don't want him or my family to do anything with this women. I have young child who need his dad to be role mole. And by seeing this so called love child may give wrong idea that zinaa is OK. Please advise me how to deal this situation. I have not slept for two months this has taken all my peace and happiness away.
- Sister S.
3 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Trouble is, that you are in a situation where there is no equality. Just because he said he didn't want more children, doesn't mean that they would not come along. If he really didn't want more children-then, we all know how to prevent that! He didn't prescribe to the obvious method.
This woman is NOT to blame. She may be unprincipled, she may have "tricked" him, but the bottom line is that he went along-because it was pleasurable and it suited him. This is NOT YOUR PROBLEM- it is his.
Im sorry to hear about your situation but your husband has a responsibility to that child. Your husband did wrong but he should not ignore the fact that he has a child, it was his mistake to commit zinaa with this woman and this innocent child should not suffer becauses of his mistake. I know it cant be very easy for you but try and think about it from an outside view. I believe that you should let him decide if he wants to see the child, but you should not encourage him not to, let him decide either way. If your truly a muslim, remember Allah obligated responsibities on parents & will question everyone on a very difficult day. Your husband list of sinns seem to be growing, first he commits zina while married, then he asks her to abort the unborn child, astagfirullah, now he doesnt want anything to do with the child, isnt it time, he faced upto his responsibilities? Anyways, May Allah grant you patience, inshallah.
I dont like the quote " if you are truly as Muslim" because the child is not yours and these rules dont apply to you. We dont even know if these rules aply to your husband. Because this women had low enough morals to commit adultery once , who knows if you husband is truly the father. Do online research and ordera DNA test these kits are really common now and you could get 1 for any where between 150-300$. However, be prepared to accept the child as much as your husband does once you get the results. if he is not the father then at least you have peace of mind in knowing that you dont have to be bothered-at all with this situacion.