Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I lost my virginity before reverting…

Muslim woman, female Muslim convert, Converting to Islam

I lost my virginity when I was christian before. I am Muslim now! I am converted. In Islam it's important. but for now please leave me advice what I need to do. and what if I'm getting married. I'm stress for that happens. Thank you!

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4 Responses »

  1. As-salamu alaykum sister Saaf. When one becomes Muslim and declares the shahadah, all previous sins are forgiven by Allah. You begin in Islam with a pure soul. So there is no need to worry about what happened in the past. Also, you should not discuss your past sins with anyone. Whatever Allah in His mercy has concealed, you should not reveal.

    If anyone asks you about your past, just tell them, "Whatever I did before Islam is not relevant. You should see me as I am now and accept me."

    Any man who is unable to understand and accept this should not be considered for marriage.

    Wael Editor

    • Brother wael,
      Even if her husband doesnt ask about her past he may figure out that she is not a virgin after marriage and since it would be wrong to lie then there is a chance that her truth will cause issues in their marriage. Wouldnt it be better for her to come clean now and reject the proposal if she finds out that the man has problens with her past.
      I am not advocating that he should have problems he should not care about the past not just because she was a Christian before but should not care about the past in anycase. We all are responsible for our own akhlaaq and we alone have to answer to Allah. a husbsnd should worry about his own past before marriage and let the wife worry about her own. Its only after marriage that you work as a team (you are not responsible for each others sins but you have to take into account the effect of it on ypur spouse)
      Having said that i know that men can react very badly on past issues (so can women) and they may not have that maturity or mercy and sometimes its better to clear stuff before marriage.

  2. I lost my virginity when I was christian before. I am Muslim now! I am converted. In Islam it's important.
    Asalam alykum sister,
    Alhumdulliah sister, its always refreshing to eman to see revert muslims.

    And virginity is neither a condition to become a muslim or a condition for marriage.

    Allah has made Zinah haram on muslims and zinah is sin.

    As brother wael has said, which is from the hadiths of prophet of allah, allah forgives all since when one accepts shahadah . So sister you are sinless.

    So sister marry some one who will marry you for your being a "muslimah" !!

    may allah tala keep us steadfast on quraán and sunnah .

  3. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

    As you are well aware, once you do your Shahadah and become a Muslim. All of your previous sins are forgiven by Allah (SWT). However if you still repent it. You can go ahead and ask Allah (SWT) for forgiveness and do Tawbah. If you repent it with all of your heart and still ask Allah (SWT) for forgiveness. Perhaps this act of yours will please Allah (SWT) towards you and He may perhaps shower His blessings upon you. He is the Most Merciful And He is the Most Kind.

    Always try to repent as much as you can for something that you have done. And no matter how much you repent, it never seems to be enough. This will help you have a stronger bond with your Creator, and will do you good.

    If you are getting married. And you are afraid that your husband might find out and it might effect your marriage.
    You basically have two options to choose from, and that choice rests with you alone to make.

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