Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I love a revert, but my parents want me marry a non-Religious man

Who to marry?

Who should you marry?

I met a Muslim revert at college through MSA (Muslim Student Association).We were both paired to make a website for the organization, and no one else knew how to make a website besides the 2 of us. after a while he told me he was interested and he spoke to my dad. The main reason my dad does not want me to marry him however is the fact that he is a revert and my dad is afraid he will turn me away from Islam.

But the thing is, I love him mainly for his interest in Islam. My dad does not pray or anything, and he is pretty much only a muslim by name, nothing else. I've always wanted to marry someone who is religious and who does not smoke or drink. This guy is also majoring in the same field as me (Comupter science), and we have many similarities. I do not know what to do because I really want to marry this guy, but the guy my dad wants me to marry is some rich doctor that smokes.

Money doesn't buy happiness, so I do not care for that. Plus that doctor wants to marry another doctor and I am not going near that field of study. My mom does not want me to marry this revert because he is Filipino. She wants me to marry someone from the country, a Palestinian.

Any advice on what I should do??? I know "parents know what's best" but is that really the case in this situation?? It seems like they are more trying to choose someone that THEY like, rather than someone that would be good for me.

~ landooda

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12 Responses »

  1. Hey there beautiful.

    Do NOT let your parents fool you into marrying a rich doctor who smokes or whatever. The man you seem to be talking about seems perfect for you. In your heart if you know that this guy is pure and religion is in his heart, then you should marry him! Speak to your parents and tell them what you want. Really make them understand the situation.

    If you marry someone who your parents choose for you - that may not be religious then there is a higher chance you will follow the wrong path. Don't you think? How can you find happiness with someone who you don't want to be with?

    I think you should really think about what you want and more importantly what's right. I wish you luck in the future 7ayati.


    • Asalamu alaikum

      I know that, and I did try talking to them ๐Ÿ™
      My dad is still tryin his best to talk me out of it, and I keep trying to explain to my parents about what I want. They say that parents know what's best and that they know what will b good for me, and I keep trying to explain to them that what I want in a guy, is way different than what they want...

  2. Salaam sister

    I know exactly what your going through as I've been through the same thing because i want to marry a revert but I finally convinced my parents and they are going to let us marry now. My dad loves him a lot and has become friends with him and soon he will be their son in law :).
    What I advise you is do dua to Allah every day do not give up your faith in him keep speaking to your parents about him and get the man you love to prove to your dad he's not going to take you away from your religion.
    I explained to my parents I will not be happy with someone I do not want to marry and they listened. I did have a few problems along the way with my parents but I never have up in my faith for Allah as I knew he would answer my dua and I got help from the rest of my family too as I explained to them about him. You need to show your dad that the man you want to marry may be a revert but he is a good Muslim and will keep you on the right path. I will advise you more if you need any help I will be here for you sister. Insha'allah you will be with him juy be patience and keep speaking to your parents.

    • My sister doesn't like how me and him met so quickly and liked each other quickly, so she isn't very supportive, and my dad says that he will end up making me take off my hijab (even though that's one of the things he loves abt me, plus he also wants me to wear an abaya...) and that he will side with his parents and that he will always choose them over me (even though he left his parents for Islam and is currently living in a masjid till he saves enough for an apartment)

      • Salaam sister

        It took my parents 8 months till they agreed I did not pressure then into anything I knew they would deep down love him when they get to know him so my husband to be started attending the same mosque my dad did and it was soon after my dad saw his love for Islam and Allah subhana wa ta'ala. so you and the man you love need to show your dad that he is the right guy for you. And have patience sister as what Allah has written for you will be the best for you insha'allah.

        • my dad doesnt go to mosque or anything. And my dad did say that he will agree for me, but he still does not want to allow it, and is still going to try his best to deny him. He said he wants to meet his parents but his parents do not understand the whole no dating stuff so it's just all so complicated ๐Ÿ™

  3. Sister your parents cannot force you to marry anyone against your own choice.

    If you are uncomfortable with the doctor whom your parents are suggesting, then say so and tell them you are not comfortable and will not marry him.

    Make due, pray istikhara, but know that you will be living with this man yourself, and not your parents. There are times to respect your parents choice, and these are the times you have to stick to your choice.

    As long as he is of good character, ask your parents to meet him atleast once and make lots of dua that they like him if he is the one.

    All the best sister and hope things get easier as time goes on.

    • in sha Allah, and I try explaining to them that I will be the one that lives with this guy all my life, and not them, but my dad isn't very understanding.. ๐Ÿ™

  4. Please answer.

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