I love my cousin but he doesn’t know
Salam.
I'm 27 years old, from Bangladesh. I don't know when and why I fell in love with one of my cousins who lives in England. And the strange part of my love is he does not know about my feeling. I am afraid I may never tell a word to him. We do not meet often as we live in different parts of the world. We do not even have phone or online communication. I think of him everyday. Whenever my parents receive any proposal for me, I can not breathe. I can not imagine my life without him beside. When I heard he is a millionaire, I started feeling hopeless. Because I am afraid he may look for a rich person like him! After all of these, I can not console myself, neither can forget nor can give up hoping. What shall I do now?
Please brother/sister, let me know any dua or Islamic way to submit my feeling to him. I believe Allah's mercy is limitless, and All Power belongs to HIM.
nadlovskay
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Re yu goin in seek of his money my dear.....
salaam.
ohh dear, you should've read my story with a little more attention. I'm never running after his money, rather I'm feeling down since I heard He's so rich! cz, people may normally consider my attraction towards his wealth but not him.
You should speak to your parents (maybe your mother first) about your feelings and see if they can discuss marriage with his parents. However I know that many of the youth in England wouldn't ever think of marrying a cousin from back home but he may be different and Allah knows best. Pray istikhara and strive to do things for the sake of Allah, and if he is good for you in this life and the hereafter Allah will ease your path towards each other. May Allah make things easy for you.
Jazak Allah. please do remember me in your pious dua.
Salaam.
dear sister,
if you could spend some time for me and take the trouble of doing istikhara, I would remain grateful to you for the rest of my life, Insha'Allah.
please let me know if you have time enough to do that. I don't mind if you can't, just remember in your pious dua please.
W alaykum al salam sister,
It's always best for you to perform istikhara yourself and not ask anybody to do it for you and Allah knows best. Pray it sincerely and speak to your family inshaAllah. 🙂 You're in my duas, please don't forget me in yours either.
You should let one of your family know how you feel about him. And maybe they they could do an arrange marriage. But again how can you love him without knowing the type if person he is? Waft your feeling right now is just a crush, it's not true love. Don't let his physical appearance and wealthy define love for you. Find a way to communicate with him, if you really want him. Fight for whatever you want in a halal way.
And inchallah Allah has written him for you?
I have his phone number, even he is available in different networks. But I'm afraid of how to start? I am afraid if he considers me as a shameless girl!
Jazak Allah for your advise.
Assalaamualaikam
If you are interested in considering him as a potential spouse, then speak to your mum about it - she can then inshaAllah start to make enquiries to see if he might be a good match.
Remember, though, that he lives far away and you don't have much contact with him, so your desire to marry him may not be based on his true character... This is one reason why it's so important to involve families, so that people can discuss potential spouses and feed back to you about what they have learned. Be cautious - don't jump into a marriage with him before finding out more information about him and thinking about whether you still want to be his wife.
Allah is All-Knowing, and has a plan for each of us. So, pray for guidance, make dua, and trust that He will guide you to what is best for you in the long-term.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
walaikum salaam.
sister/brother, Alhamdulillah I have got a nice chance to share my silence with you all nice people.
Thank you very much for the effective piece of advise. Insha'Allah, I will find a way. I've started Tahajjud and read Ar-Rahman regularly. By the Grace of Allah swt I want to be directed in right way. Most of you found it like a crush, not true love. some may think I'm going for his wealth. But Allah sees my heart best. I'm afraid of getting a stranger into my life, some one I never knew. How can I trust? whom I've fallen for, it's true we don't meet often, but I can put my trust on him. I believe my Aunty has brought up her children with very good manner, nature, understanding of Islam. They started performing 5 times salah since they were children. He doesn't drink, smoke. I have got many good reasons to want him in my life. But he may not be as interested as I am! please remember me in your dua.
Jazak Allah
How old is your cousin? You can start communicating with him by asking him some question, like how can you do some study in UK or find a job in UK. Ask for his email. Money does not make a difference if 2 people love each other. Usually people fall in in love and/or start liking some one after they get some signals (could start as a simple eye contact).
salaam.
Thank you for reading and commenting. He is 33 and I'm 28. I've got his phone number, can start communicating with him anytime via whatsapp. But I worry if he thinks I'm a shameless girl, trying to flirt on him!
I am afraid of his reaction :((
Don't flirt or say shameless things. You can email him greetings on Holidays, Birthdays. If you don't communicate you have very little chance. Go for it. He is 33
Thank you:)
As sister.
I would firstly advise you to let your parents know about this If you do genuinely have feeling for him (not his money) I would also tell you to put your trust in Allah. Sister realise that Allah knows the person that is best suited for you so if it doesnt work out just be patient and Allah will grant you an amazing spouse.May Allah grant you a rightous spouse and may Allah guide you and me and help you through all of this.
Jazak Allah for your pious dua. It means a lot, Alhamdulillah.
How could you fall in love without even knowing him? Its like a celebrity crush.
Maybe you should get to know him and then decide if he fits your earlier description.
yes, sounds like a celebrity crush though, I'm still in love and it's one sided.
I don't know the result. And until he knows my feeling I can't expect any result of it.
I just don't know how to express my love?
Tell your cousin and see how he feels. If he feels the same way then tell him to send his parents to talk to your parents. If he doesn't feel the same way, marry someone else.
It would be better if u start a communication with his mother or his sisters first. After some time passes and u know that they are not avoiding u then start asking about all ur cousins studies, daily routines, etc. When u get them into confidence, then about their marriages. But u must keep in mind that he may already have marriage proposals which should in no way either depress or dishearten u. Just one step at a time.because u know slow & steady wins the race.
My suggestion would be that if u are a true Muslimah, then don't let this lust of Dunya overpower u as it is not our goal. Study more about ur DEEN as it is common knowledge that born Muslims in the west are far off from their religion. Let ALLAH SWT decide what's best for u.
Good luck.
I don't want to tell who I am but I am in a confusion and don't know if he love s me . But Sometimes he does things which makes me feel he loves me. I Told him that day I am in crush on someone.and I told that someone likes me and want to be with me and he reacted weird. And Told that this was unexpected from me.again he said he also like someone.and said unacceptable thing which I think he was lying. I Didn't sleep t at night the day. And Another thing I want to share he does everything when I tell him to do this or that for me.
Df, who are you talking about? A cousin? And who cares if he likes you? If you have a crush on someone else then why should you care whether your cousin likes you or not? And why do you tell him to do things for you? Is he your servant? It sounds like you are taking advantage of him or manipulating him. Sister, grow up. Honestly sister, this is all childish and silly. In Islam we do not have boyfriends and girlfriends, we do not date, and if you have a "crush" then you keep it to yourself. There's no reason for you to have such ongoing contact with your cousin. He is not your mahrem.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
AOA!!!...
Sister i was really shocked after reading ur problem bcz ur problem is same as mine...i fell in love with my cousin who lives in another city..... i saw him in my another cousin's wedding after about 8 or 9 years(i am 18 now).... i dont know how but i just fell in love with him at first sight....i also have his phone no. but i cant contact bcz u know i worry he may think that i am shameless!!.....oo & i am from pakistan!!!!!
Talk to him. Directly.
Maybe he is hiding it himself.