I’m tired, I need a new way of life, a new religion
Hi I'm Christian and my boyfriend is Muslim. I wanna change my name so bad due to personal reasons. My given name is Maria (nickname is Marian). What possible Islamic names could I legally use?
I really really wanna change my name legally as I'm not safe and secured with my name. I want to be Muslim as well so that I want to be respected as people depict us Christians as liberated and all that. I'm very tired of being physically, verbally, and sexually abuse/harassed throughout my life. I'm constantly depressed every time. I need a new way of life. I always seek the Bible for help but right now, I'm at lost with myself.
I was cyber abuse/bullied online and in person. I still feel tormented up to now.
Last August or a few months back (I don't know when), I started reading the Qu'ran but because of my family and friends, especially my strict Christian mother I stopped.
Please help me. I'm really in pain. I'm so depressed right now. I don't know what to do.
Last year until early 2011, I committed suicide attempts due to my relationship with my bf and conflicts with my family as well.
Also, Christianity is really contradicting. Even if I'm myself a Christian, I still get confused and disagree with certain scriptures in the Bible. For instance, The Bible says, women should cover their heads, especially when praying.. but are they really all doing that? (I read on wikipedia that modern Christianity abandoned that and that it's a culture or tradition thing of the past - which I don't think that is reasonable because the only Christian women who cover their heads are old women in Catholic churches.
Seriously people are only making up reasons and being 'modernized' and 'fashionable'.) I'm not even Catholic-christian anymore, to say the least. I'm actually a non-denominational Christian. but not a hard-core that is so extremist.
I'm open minded so I'm seeking a new way of life, like Islam.
It even said in the Bible, that women should have longer hair so it would be honorable or something, just so the head would be covered. Otherwise it should be shaved. Something like that. Well, I am a modern woman and I myself have short hair. Does this mean that I'm already sinful? Or should I shave my head?
I want a religion that clearly is direct /straight to the point and people obey its holy book. Yes, I may be that 'literal' and analytical but how would people believe the truth if it is full of riddles or senseless and contradictory? I want something that people would simply understand the true meaning of faith and God.
Sorry, I couldn't write anymore. I'm getting emotional again.
- micy
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Well one of the things I'm really confused is that
U wanna accept/know about islam coz u like islam or see it as a religion of truth than christianity OR
U just wanna get out of christianity and find a religion which is suited for it can be either islam/judaism etc .
Coz its not like this ( that if u don't like food from one hotel u wanna try another an another ) sorry for my stupidity but I am assuming this , well I don't mean to hurt u .
The thing which I wanted to say is that if u want to accept islam than saying the shahda is not enough , u have to accept it from the bottom of ur heart and only then ull benefit from it .
Religion is not something that U can just change and especially islam coz it not just a religion it the way of life in which every person should follow it unlike christianity
Dear Mici,
I agree with Truebloood and the same as him i don't mean to hurt you or make you feel bad....
I was Catholic because my parents chose my religion when i born but through the years i found the Islam as the truth. As you i'm so analytic and i began to read the Qur'an even if my family doesn't like it, but i felt inside my heart that the best way of leaving is the way i'm leaving now. It's not about which one is the best religion, is about which religion make you feel a better person and feel comfortable with. Pray to God to guide you.
@trueblood,.. I remember a discusion we had some time ago and i could'nt find the link so am sorry for writing here.. Hope you won't get disgust, i remember you telling me that you dont usually offer the 5 sallah prayers, you only pray the friday juma'at prayers.. So i dont no, may be you have stated the five prayers now.. Humbly, You know, with the way you are devouting your time and perticepating in this site shows that you are very sincere and true with your religion.. (speaking to you with all humility),, here you are convincing someone to accept the religion but you your self are not a sincere and true follower of the religion since you dont offer the sallah prayer... The prophet said in one hadith that ''what differentiate between a hypocrite, a disbeliever and a beliver (ie muslim) is the salat prayers'''.. Of course a new revert has to struggle to adapt to the new way of life and the sallat, so atimes they pray 3 times a day, sometimes 4 and sometimes 5.. This is an excuse for them since they are trying to adjust to the new way of life and in few months to 1 or 2 yrs, they would have finally adjust.. But we, we are born muslims, we dont have that excuse.. At least we should be an example to others in matter of the deen..., pls dont feel am black mailing you. We all have our weak points and We are not perfect, we are only striving to please Allah.. But leaving the sallah prayer makes you very very weak, there is no option or excuss for missing the salah.. It is the first obligation your creator (ALLAH) has ordained for you as a muslim after the shahada.. If you are sick/ill and can't pray standing then pray while sitting, if you can't pray while sitting then pray while lieing. If you can't pray while lieing (because of the illness), then pray with your imagination (with your heart. ie you begin by imagining you are performing ablution, washing ur hands, face, feet etc. Then you imagine you are on standing position of sallah, then bowing,then sitting, then prostrating just the way you perform normal sallah).. It is when you cant do this, then salah is not compulsory on you... So brother, i hope you will be serious with your prayers now.
Mohd brother you have said nothing wrong , I'm not saying I'm a good muslim , ill even say that I M THE WORST MUSLIM In this world , but regarding the Salah I'm trying .
U know one of the thing which is influenced me is my younger brother well he is in school , and he is 12 yrs younger than me , mashalla he prays 5times a day including friday Salah (well he doesn't know properly the druds and surah , but insha allah he will , )
And I knowing much more than him refrained my self from praying
Firstly I ignored that he might give up but he has ent ,
Well I'm very much embarased , even my parents tell that y I don't pray and learn from my younger brother
So inshallah I will follow his footsteps and move in the way of success amin
Salaams,
There are so many different questions and aspects that you are bringing up in your post. I will try to address them each one by one.
You asked what Islamic names you could use legally. I am not sure what the process for legal name changing is everywhere as I live in the United States. Let's just assume the process is the same for where you are. Notwithstanding what you would need to do to change your name with the government (since they mostly don't care what name you choose to rename yourself with), you can choose any name that you like. Any Islamic name that speaks to you or has a meaning that is special to you, it's up to you to decide. Taking an Arabic name does not require you to be Muslim first; however, I imagine it would be a little more meaningful to you if you were to do that.
Like I said, I'm not sure where you live so it's difficult for me to understand how changing your name to an Islamic one would protect you from harrassment or abuse. Do you live in an Islamic country? The reason I'm asking is because a lot of time in western countries being known or recognized as a Muslim carries it's own set of risks, not a reprieve. Either way, if you are being abused or harrassed as you say then being Muslim or not, or having a certain name or not, should not matter. You should be able to go to the authorities or a protective shelter and ask for help and advocacy on your behalf against your abusers.
That being said, I truly can understand a lot of the confusion you are having about being a Christian at all. So many of us converts turned to Islam from Christianity because we wanted to be more devoted and submissive to God, but Christianity wasn't giving specific directives about how to do this. Christianity was marked with factions and schisms based on different interpretations of the Bible, which made it impossible for a sincere person to really know in their heart that what they were living was an authentic practice from the time of Jesus (peace be upon him).
I can assure you that the lack of clarity you are experiencing in Christianity is not present in Islam. Sure, there are some issues that we have questions about or there is disagreement upon, but these issues make up a small minority of all the tenets Islam encompasses. When it comes to the important things, the things God cares about us doing and what we should do to live our lives; those aspects are spoken about clearly and in detail, and there is no disagreement in scholarly consensus about what we are to do. There is really no end of what can be spoken about this fact.
As far as your hair, in Islam it's required that women cover with a scarf (hijab) as you may know. Needless to say, this scarf would cover your hair, so it really doesn't matter if your hair is short or long or layered or what. What God cares about whether or not we muslimahs are being obedient to wearing the hijab, and wearing it correctly at that (meaning that it must cover all of the hair, neck, ears- only the face should be visible). Yet as you can see, this is only one tiny aspect of being a Muslim. There is so much more, and only by reading a translation of Qu'ran, studying hadith (records of sayings/actions of Prophet Muhammad SAWS), and learning who Prophet Muhammad was and what made him extraordinary in a biography will you be able to start to grasp the beauty and completeness in Islam. It probably wouldn't hurt to speak to an Islamic teacher where you leave to help with understanding all the information available.
If you truly feel that God is calling you to Islam, it's not necessary to be an expert on all of the details of practice. If you believe that:
1. there is only one God, and this God is uncreated and unlike anything we can imagine, and Who has no partner, offspring or equal, and from Him all things which exist came to be,
2. God has sent His prophets and messengers to all of mankind through the ages, beginning with Adam and concluding with Muhammad SAWS, in order to guide mankind from error to truth,
3. And that God also revealed himself through Holy Books at various points in time, the last of which is the Qu'ran, which has been perfectly preserved in it's original form to this very day,
4. And that there is a life hereafter, and some of us will be punished for our choices and some of us will be rewarded in that realm,
5. That there will be a day of judgement where we will all account for our actions in this life,
6. That there does exist a "divine decree", meaning that all things that come to pass in this existence were known and determined by God alone
7. And that there are other beings that dwell in creation, such as angels and jinns,
then you are ALREADY a Muslim as far as what you believe...because this is what we believe in essence. Once you already believe, all you must do is declare it by saying that you attest there is no God but Allah, and Muhammad is His messenger. In Arabic we recite it as follows: LA ILLAHAH ILLALLAH, WA MUHAMMADUN RASOOLILLAH. Then, you can start to learn what we do to practice these beliefs, and begin practicing them yourself.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Very wonderful to read this thread., who would have ever suggest that sister AMY is a revert, seeing her wonderful and islamic advice to people in problems.. You are really a wonderful women and this shows you are very firm with your deen and seeking the knowledge... Is really good to have people like you in this world
And sorry, how many souls have you succeeded in winning for Allah?. I mean among your relatives, friends, etc.. Dont forget, it's your duty as a muslimah to invite to the way of Allah with wisdom and beautiful preachings and argue with them in the that is most gracious.... Beleive me sister, i like reading stories like this??.
Lady whoever u r , plzz contact me..
Editor´s note: We don´t allow sharing emails on this site. Thank you for understanding.
Islam is the only way to the Jannah (paradise) . so dont think for this temporary life. But think for ur life after death that is perminent. and Allah will never forget non-believers if they die in this state.
I invite u to accept the only way to success that is Islam.
THERE IS NO GOD EXCEPT ALLAH. MOHAMMAD (s.a.w.w) IS HIS PROPHET.
Assalamo Alaikum Brother,
I am in a relationship with a revert Muslim since last two years. We were planning to get married this year end. My fiancee is a good Muslim, but the reason he wanted to study Islam was to marry me. He read a lot and researched on his own and accepted Islam by reading shahadah on his own some 3 and a half years back .
He used to pray and fast since last 3 years and has also started 5 times prayers off late. Since last two years he said he wanted to change his name to Muslim name and had already decided upon one long back.
But now suddenly he has decided that he is not going to change his name as it wont bring even an iota of difference in his faith towards Allah and that would keep him hassle free. But this sudden decision has taken a toll on the plans of marriage and its forcing me to step back as my conscience is not allowing to be called as wife of Hindu name and above all my family will never accept his Hindu name for marriage. We are religious family Alhamdolillah and my family agreed on this marriage after lots of struggle and conceptual facts of his belief.
I do believe that his faith should matter most , but still some where I am not ready to accept his name forever in my life. Also, he has become very adamant on this sudden decision of not changing his name. He gives the same logic that its not mandatory. Apart from his faith in Allah and Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) he is a wonderful human being, very kind hearted, very truthful, and very loving. And I do not want to leave him but again I don't want to take any decision now and regret later. I have tried to talk to him about name change but in vain. What is bothering me is the sudden change in decision. I had already some one badly after me some 6 years back and he was ready to accept Islam for nikah purpose. But I decided not to commit to him as I asked scholars and they told Faith has to be for Allah not for nikah. At that young age I decided to go with my Allah and was always happy of my decision that Allah showed me the truth. So, I know , this time it wil be more painful for me to decide. Please suggest. His name is Piyush.
Also, please tell about circumcision if its important or not.
Sorry for a long post, but this is my state of mind nowadays.
Allah Hafiz
Walaikum salam sister Sana,
Sister, I don't know why you are making name change an issue. If meaning of his name doesn't is one of those of Hindu Gods (anything polytheistic) then he must change his name apart from that it should be fine. You have to understand that it may create problem for him with his family, friends, colleagues, neighbors etc as he is revert and a lot of non-Muslims are generally hostile toward Muslim. You should encourage him to learn more and let me remind you that two of you are not supposed to be in any kind of relationship, only relationship recognized in Islam is marriage. So, if you claim to be practicing or coming from one such family than ask him to ask your father for your hand. Explain to them that if their reasons are non-Islamic such as his background, him being revert or his name etc and try to convince them.
Regarding, the circumcision. I have read several times that an adult revert doesn't need to undergo that process.
Hope this helps iA. Also, search our database for similar posts.
Muhammad1982,
IslamicAnswers.com, Editor.
Dear Sister,
To my best knowledge and understanding, it not required to change you name unless it embodies the worship of someone or something other than Allah (swt) and in your case, the meaning of the name Piyush is 'drink of the gods' or 'milk'. hence it is advisable that he should change his name to some Islamic one.
Also once done, it will save you being called as wife of Hindu name (i can understand what you mean- how it would affect in our society)
Please try to convince him peacefully.
PS-
Please read as
(i can understand what you mean- how it would affect you- your future kids, your family considering our society, legal docs, people in general etc )
if he still does not want to then you can just ignore this issue as what matters is his faith in Islam.
Dear Sister,
I am really happy that you understood my problem about other issues. Thanku for your advice. I am trying to convince him citing every possible problem we might face.
Please pray for me that he understands the reasoning and accepts a new first name.
Once again thanks for understanding the problem from my perspective and guiding me.
Thank you brother for your reply.
It wasnt a sinful relationship, although I do understand that any sort of relationship with a non Mahram is not permitted in Islam. I do seek forgiveness from my Allah in every namaz I offer. I hope I am forgiven for each and every small sin I have committed all my life.
Also, regarding name - his name Piyush means "Drink of Gods" , which is mythological and as per Islam , there is no drink of Gods. So from all the posts on your forum on name change topic, I can constitute that this name should not be retained. Although he can retain his second name.
I believe everything is destined and destiny will take its own course of action but still I would like to choose the most righteous path in every possible way.
May Allah show me the light and the right path again and HE knows best.
I would also like to know Brother Wael's comment on this.
Thanks a lot for your time and guiding many souls.
Sister Sana ,
I appreciate you for leaving him for the sake of Allah .Allah will reward you.
Dear Sana,
I think if you arrange for a meeting between him and some authentic senior islamic scholar (Maulana/Sheikh etc as called) of his/your area, who could make him understand it all better IN PERSON will be ideal.
I would like to advice you that you yourself should not get into it too much...I mean it might create unnecessary tension between both of you. Let your elders handle it.
I wish you a successful married life. Ameen
Do remember me in your duas.
Your sister.
PS- I request Brother Wael to answer my sister. I had also requested him to answer my query but i guess our messages have not reached him yet.
Assalamwalekum.
You are free to change your name but i am just curious as to why would you like to change your name. Maria is a perfectly islamic name. A lot of muslim women have it. Maybe your reasons are that it is an ambiguous name as far as religious identity is concerned because its such a common name among christians too and you would want to be recognized as a muslim if you do convert that is...here is what i kknow about the name
Maria (also spelled Mariyyah, Mariya, Marya, Maryah, Mariah), was the name of one of the Prophet's wives, peace and blessings of Allah upon him and his family and companions. She was a Coptic Christian from Egypt, and the meaning of her name is not known for sure in Islamic sources. Maria is most likely a Latinized form of the name Mary (Maryam), mother of Prophet Isa. The name spread to many parts of the world when the Roman Empire embraced Christianity. Since Egypt was part of the Roman Empire at the time of the Prophet, a Latin origin of the name is most probable.
When the Prophet disliked a person's name, he would change it for them, usually he did this for people whose names had a very negative meaning. But since he didn't change Maria's name, we can know with certainty that this is an acceptable name in Islam.
In Islam all names are acceptable unless they have a bad meaning, therefore since Maria is likely derived from Mariam, mother of Jesus, both of whom are greatly respected figures in Islam, this makes it a good and acceptable name, even if it had not been the name of one of the Prophet's wives.
Also i am not sure but i think mariam and therefore mary, maria has a butiful literal meaning too. It means the maid of God.
I am sorry. I over looked the part where you have mentioned its for personal reasons and i dont mean to pry. And Maria possibly also means white or radiant