Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I need a support system


Assalamu alaikum,

I dont know where to begin. I am so ashamed of myself. I really hope as a community you can support me, although some of you may not be able to.

so I have never before come to a forum to write anything and I begin with a heavy heart to inform you that i am a grave sinner.

I have no excuse. no messed up childhood or incidences that I can remember. Unfortunately I have acted upon impulses and sinned. i have been attracted to the same sex ever since i was little. Whether my mind is manipulated by society or the devil has built a home in my heart I cant explain it and i am sure this has been debated. It is not just a week ago I made the decision to increase my deen and prayer more and contemplate more. Ask forgiveness more. And then today I did it again. I sinned. I feel like the most worthless human begin. I have acted upon the devils whisper and I am so ashamed. I will continue to ask for forgiveness.... i think i will have to for the rest of my life. I just dont know what overcomes me. i have done this again and again and each time I have turned to Allah to save me. But I always fall back into this horrible act and I know full well what the punishment is. Its like my mind knows its wrong but my body will continue to go to the dark place.

I am pleading with you all to pray for me. I hope you can find it in your heart to help me through this time but of course only Allah can truly help me.

I am ready to break my addiction. and with every addiction a support system is needed. I of course have a great bond with my family but with issues like this it would tear them apart. and that one of the reasons I want to change I dont want to see my mum fall apart and my father angered. And my brothers confused and angry. But most of all i dont want to disappoint my creator any more . He has given me so much and I disobey him!! I need help and as I pray to Allah, I beg my brothers and sister of you to help me. talk to me and support me in changing my life. I feel so alone and depressed. I have contemplated another big sin of suicide as I have seen only the punishments for people who act upon these feelings. please help me.


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10 Responses »

  1. Em going through very hard time in my life i jst want to die plz pray for me

    • What is missing in your life? Why you want to die?

    • Brother khan please dont lose hope. Ur life is a precious gift from Allah. Allah never puts u in a situation that u cant handle, so just be strong and realise this fact that u have the strength to face this hardship. May be u r being tested by the creator for good. Just make dua for ur self and ask for His forgiveness even if u havent done anything wrong. May Allah help u get through this time and bring u peace. Ameen. May Allah guide u to the right path. Ameen

  2. Bro iam here to help you....iam a psychologist as well . Although iam not very practicing muslim but I can understand how much u have been through and how hard it is to battle with your own nafs..I ll help you InshAllah both spiritually,morally and psychologically

  3. Dont worry bro..Allah will ease your pain.i am here for you . Am a psychologist as well. I ll help u INSHALLAH both morally and psychologically..dont worry.feel free to contact mr.we r a one Ummah

  4. Were you sexually molested when your were growing up? Do you have desires to be with a woman? How can some one help and support you? There are men who function as bisexual. Do you consider yourself bisexual? For some reason you LEARNED to be attracted to men.

  5. Salaam
    It is a great thing that you are regretting your act and have asked for forgiveness from Allah.
    To abstain from these acts in the future, I think you should remove all memories of these from your mind or any other source that will provoke you. This way you will not be tempted.
    I am not an expert in these matters, so I do not know much.

  6. My lovely brother in faith please read the 99 names of Allah swt - read Al Jabbar, the one who mends and restores broken hearts. Read Al Fattah, the opener, the one who creates a way out of every difficulty. Your Lord is Al Hakim, the most, Al Ghafoor, the most forgiving and Ar-Rahman the most merciful. Please do not lose hope and have tawakul that Allah swt will get you through this. Please take a trip to a spiritual Islamic retreat such Alqueria De Rosales in Granada, Spain to revive yourself your deen and please do not ever think of suicide. You have so much to offer please do not think like this.

  7. Salam bro.Don't worry I am very experienced in giving good advice I was revert found Islam studied in England and married a scholor.I was also a sinner and felt the same way.It is test and you will pass it or get over it.When a person has sinned for so long you don't expect the heart to reflect like a mirror.But will give you strong advice 100%.but it is up to you at the end of it all.Let's start with salah.Salah should be prayed with Jamaat at mosque.This is the best place on earth .The angels become familiar with you and Sooo on......You must learn to pray proper SALAT with all the rules and regulation.I learned from a book called tameel HAQ. Proper wudu and dress cleanly nicely perfume .Master salah and recite quran properly.Quran has a right on you so read it daily at least 7 pages a day plus sura mulk and yaseen .This is the will finish quran every 2 months roughly.The biggest ones which is killing the ummah is social media movies music food.As a believer in Allah and prophet Muhammad we must watch ourselves especially who we associate. WEAK PEOPLE AND HYPOCRITES CAUSE DESTRUCTION.JUST REMEMBER AN IDLE MAN'S BRAIN IS A DEVILS WORKSHOP! ! IF YOU WANT TO CURE YOURSELF FAST THEN SPEND 40 DAYS OR 4 MONTHS IN TABLIGH JAMAAT. THIS IS A MADRESSAH ON WHEELS .THERE YOU WILL LEARN DEEN AND CORRECT YOUR BAD HABITS AND SUBDUE YOUR DESIRES.TRUST ME .EVEN ALL THE ULEMA WHO FINISH THE PROGRAM AFTER 10YRS THEY GO 1 YR IN JAMAAT.SHAITAN HATES THE WORK OF DAWAH.THE NEXT STAGE WOULD BE MARRY A PIOUS WOMEN WHO IS RAISED PROPERLY.SHE WILL BRING THE BARAKAH HOME AND TAKE CARE OF YOU.BUT LIKE I SAID IT IS UPTO YOU.FINALLY THERE COULD BE BLK MAJIC DOWN ON YOU OR SOMETHING SO HAVE A HABIT OF READING THE SELECTED DUAS OF THE PROPHET FOR THE EFFECTS OF JINN.YOU CAN DOWNLOAD APP STORE OR YOUTUBE.IT IS CALLED ( MANZIL)...... READ DAILY AND LISTEN CAREFULLY...NO DESTRUCTIONS IF NIGHT TIME IS A PROBLEM SLEEPING (PLAY ON REPEAT AT NIGHT TIME AUDIO).THERE IS NO WAY THE DEVIL WILL COME NEAR YOU AND YOU MAKE SURE YOU ARE WUDU..AT ALL TIMES..THE QURAN WILL BRING NOOR AND FACE WILL SHOW IT EVIL WILL STAY AWAY AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE HAPPY.FACT!! 1 MORE THING THE ELDERS SAY MIN TASBIH MORNING AND EVENING 3RD KALIMAH 100× DUROOD 100× ASTAGFIRULLAH 100× .THIS IS A MUST ALL LEARNED PEOPLE HAVE A DAILY ROUTINE. THERE IS NO EXCUSE .JUST MAKE TIME AND ALLAH WILL MAKE TIME FOR YOU BECAUSE TIME IS IN ALLAH'S HAND...YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THIS...

    • Your advice is really good but u have bombarded him with so many things...u have to understand his level of mind right now and emotiaons he is going through. .he should get out from feeling of guilt and moat importantly the root cause should be evaluated that how he got into this habit...heart and kind should be purified and relaxed in order to do anything in your life..

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