Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I need Advice for my marriage ASAP

hijabi sister

Hello everyone my name is J I'm married to an Algerian man he's Muslim I am a non Muslim (African American) we have been married for 2 years now our marriage was amazing in the beginning I had no worries he was like my best friend now we are like enemies and  I've done something very awful that I really regret! We started to become distant about 4 months ago he's not the best at communicating he has a very bad temper never wants to talk or tries to fix our problems but always tells me that he loves me. There are a lot of red flags in our relationship that I point out to him and expect an explanation but he always turns it into an argument.

For an example: I don't think Facebook is important but I'm not sure why he has me blocked where I can't contact him, he travels to his country often without me (I don't have a passport or visa)  and I think Facebook would be the perfect way to connect while he's away.

Another example: we got married really fast which made me think he was only with me for a green card, but as time went on our love grew stronger and those accusations went away

Anyways I'll get to the point of this post, a few weeks ago I did a little investigating because I was actually worried about him he wasn't in contact with me for a few days and as a wife and American woman that worries me... I found a females profile and under her picture was a comment made by him saying "May Allah Bless Us my lovely Wife" I politely confronted him about it once I got in contact with him and he immediately got defensive which made me believe he was guilty but like I said early he has a bad temper. Instead of talking to me and communicating the correct way he fought me about me as if I was wrong for confronting him about it and he wanted me to just forget about it and move on from it but me being an American woman it didn't make sense to me and I couldn't get over it so I let it get the worst of me

I made the horrible mistake by Sending videos of us having sex to his mother and the possible mistress what he claims was his cousin and a joke made between the two the only reason why I sent it to his mother is because weeks before i found the comment I tried reaching out to her everyday sending her sweet messages and she'd never respond I felt rejected by her I felt like she knew my husband was there with another woman a Muslim woman I totally took it out on her out of anger. My husband flew back to America after I sent out the video to his mother and of course he's treating me so different worst than before he deleted all of our pictures together out of my phone and doesn't even say I love you to can you spend 2 years with a person and just forget them over 1 mistake made I was a perfect wife I did everything for this man anything he needed or wanted I was there he had no worries with me I never gave him a reason to feel insecure in our marriage I made it clear to everyone that he was my husband and he meant the world to me sometimes I feel a little obsessed with him because he's just wonderful and he's actually my first husband/serious relationship so I cherish this he's so precious and important to me hes my number 1 priority I grew up Christian watching my mother love my father my husband puts everyone before me is that a Muslim thing? Is there any way I can get him to forgive me? Is there any way I can get his mother to forgive me? I know Muslims especially men are so in love with their mothers and sisters so I'm 100% sure if his mother doesn't forgive me he won't but his mother doesn't know me unfortunately she met the insecure scared and confused side of me... the other side of me is absolutely amazing I'm loved by so many people and those people are actually shocked that I've done something so horrible but you don't know how it feels to see your husband call another woman his wife I worship this man and I deserve much more respect than that! Please don't leave comments telling me How wrong I am Yes I did a really bad thing but I was so hurt and couldn't get answers from my husband

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4 Responses »

  1. hi i understand u made a mistake it happens the question is is he true too u

  2. Salam,

    It sounds like he's running a family in Algeria and trying to get residence in America. He really is married to you but he's also married to the girl in Algeria. She may be his cousin but that does not prevent her from being his wife. Sending her that video in my mind is not as bad as it is most likely he has to lie to his wife saying that he just has a paper marriage with you. That video made it very clear to his wife that you two do not have a paper marriage so he may have back peddled and said that he's not in that video. The next step would be to delete any of your pictures together, everywhere. This way you can't send those pictures to his wife and claim that you're his wife. If I were you, I would try talking to this woman using google translate. Just ask her if she's married to him and tell her that he's married to you in a full relationship.

  3. You need to divorce him and move on.

    He probably never truly loved you and just wanted to use you maybe. After sending the video part, that's the end of your marriage. This kind of behavior is very shameful as Muslims. And we don't tolerate it.

    Don't even marry Arabs from outside of america they are usually racist towards black people.

  4. Why do you keep stating “being an American women” ?! Being America women does make you better or smarter that any other women! Just state that your a women what is wrong with Americans

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