I need help please to stop this fear
The Door of Allah's Forgiveness is Still Open!
Alsalam 3lykum
This is my first time on the website but I find you give amazing answers so I want advice and answers how to stop this fear inside me.
I'm a female 20 years old and I have been in love once with a guy from same country as me but we both live in u.s.a. We met from social website 3 years ago and for first time I felt love and deeply I fell.
We first met after a month of talking then after six months we began to do sexual things but I'm still a virgin. We did everything except sticking it from front but instead did it from back like 3 times.
I'm very ashamed of what I did and I decided to move back to my country so I can stay away from him because of our sins. I felt like trash and low and dirty and I talked to him about it but when we was together I couldn't say no. He tried to ask for my hand but no naseeb. It's been a year since I last saw him but we started talking on the phone again and we sometimes have sex convo and I told him million times I don't like it but then he doesn't talk to me if we don't talk about sex and I can't handle not talking to him.
Anyways I stopped talking and him it's been a week and alhamdillah I been praying for long time but I always have this fear inside me from one day being exposed and also from fear of the sin I committed. I listen to Quran and cry so much and every time I pray I make dua for Allah to forgive me for my sins. But I feel like that's not enough. Please tell me what should I do and how to make stronger my eman and stay away from the wrong.
I'm having hard time leaving this person because he is the only person who gives me the feeling of love and care something I never felt even from family.
lostMuslimah
3 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Salam Sister,
The best advice I can offer you is to stop all contact with this guy. All. Repent to Allah almighty for your past transgressions with the intention never to repeat them again. You may not feel the love or care at home from your family however I can assure you, what this man offers you is nothing in the way of love. If this man truly loved you, he would not ask nor take from you what he has. Love yourself sister and believe that you deserve a life filled with happiness and a man who will love you, respect you and not engage you in acts which are haram. May Allah bless you and guide you to a better path ahead.
Salam
OP: after six months we began to do sexual things but I'm still a virgin. We did everything except sticking it from front but instead did it from back like 3 times....... He tried to ask for my hand but no naseeb........ It's been a year since I last saw him but we started talking on the phone again and we sometimes have sex convo and I told him million times I don't like it but then he doesn't talk to me if we don't talk about sex and I can't handle not talking to him.
Do you mean your parents rejected him when he asked for you hand? What is the story here about your naseeb?
You have already had sexual experience of 2 and a half years inculding 3 times annual sex but you protected your front (hymen).
It appears to me both of you are not serious about marriage. Regarding your fear someone will find out about your story, you had sex for 2 and half years and no one knows about it, you still do sex on phone.
Repent and get married to a good man.
If you have a US passort you can easily find a better educated guy to marry and live happlily ever after.
You need to stop all contacts from this guy, he is forcing you to do gunaah in sex talk over the phone. Let me tell you something personal, i was talking to many girls online, and fell in love with few, but every time i would speak with them either they would initiate or myself would engage in sex talk. I started feeling guilty, therefore i cut contacts with all those girls and deleted many socal accounts so i wont repeat the same sins again. I am a guy and if i can do that, so surely you can also.