Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I need help to take my next step in breaking free

pain hurt

A.A My age is 25. I need your instant help. My problem is I had misused in my short age of 11 for many next years. And this was done by my 1 family member. I didn't know what to do then I had commit a mistake that I had told my secret to my cousin. He blackmailed me and again I was in his use. Now I make me free by breaking my contact with him. But major problem is marriage. Please show me a way how can I move on and how can I hide all my past from that person who marry with me. If I tell him he never make me a part of his life.


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2 Responses »

  1. Dear Urshill,

    My kind sister. Repent and ask for forgiveness from Allah SWT, cry and pour your heart out to Him. He is loving and ultimately He is our protector.

    I am proud of you! Break free my sister, have faith and stay strong. Don't let them harm your future.
    Regarding your future husband do not worry too much. When the time comes, you will understand what to do. (I am not too experienced in marriage, as I am single! But as a human your past is your past, as long as it doesn't define you right now, it isn't you. Just remove this dark cloud over your head, and start fresh)

    Recite Surah Falak and Naas everyday 3 times each, this will protect you from any harm.

    Stay away from those people and anyone else in contact with them.

    Take care and you are in my prayers.


  2. Assalaamu Alaykum,

    If I understand you correctly, it sounds like you are implying that you were sexually abused by a relative for a number of years from the age of 11. Then, when you told your cousin, he threatened to tell the family if you didn't do what he wanted (presumably also sexual).

    Sister, if this is true, you are a vicitm of childhood sexual abuse. That's not your fault nor your sin. You will need some professional help to deal with the effect it's had on you, but certainly you didn't cheat your future husband out of anything. A good man, should you choose to share this with him, will be understanding and not blame you at all.

    May Allah help you find the resources you need to move past whatever happened when you were younger.

    -Amy Editor

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