Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I need help with my life


I am 23 years old. I live in Australia, with my parents. Hamdullah my parents and siblings are all religious, practising Muslims. I am at a stage in my life that I don't know what to do.  I don't know even if I am still considered as a Muslim.

I have a sex addiction problem, I have sex at least 2 times a week. Mainly with different girls. I have been to a brothel a couple time.

I had a strong addiction to gambling at one stage of my life; it was a source of income. I could lose $1000 a night and make up to $500o a night. Some weeks I would live off $50.

I am not a big fan of drugs but I have done mainly cocaine, MDMA and weed - mainly when I am clubbing to get the buzz. I used to be a heavy drinker but I had stop drinking alcohol for 7 month until recently started again, I going back to clubbing.

Most of my friends whom are Muslim are worse then me. I tried staying away from them but it's hard to cut friends whom you have know longer then 7 years.

I have been kicked out from university due to my addictions. I feel like dying, I feel empty, I feel like there no such thing as happiness in this world.

I was a practising Muslim, I tried my best to pray 5 times a day, I stayed away from girls, saw a psychologist for my gambling problems, I tried changing then it all came crashing down after weeks. I only work 3 days as a club promoter and make $450. I have no saving I am trying to find a full time job.

I need help. I am lost in this world. I want to change - I want to be a better Muslim and I want to seek guidance.


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2 Responses »

  1. Walekumsalam Brother

    Mashallah you know you are doing sin and accepted and pondering on it and asking for forgiveness that's very good sign. Acknowledgment of sin is the starting of healing. There are so many good Q/A regarding relationship other than wife and its consequences, how Allah swt take pease from once life even if he/she has everything in life. Once you take 1 step towards allah swt, then allah swt will take 10 steps towards you. So try to control you urge and whenever you feel having sex try to keep cold wet cloth on your neck.

    First leave you job its sounds like you are working for clubbing and which look like you are around bad people already and hard to lower your gaze and its part of your job i think but not sure. If you job is halal then its ok. And if you can get job 5 days a week then it will be good bcoz if you don't have work then your mind will think about bad stuff, or at least keep yourself busy with any social activities in you Masjid. Try to pray 5 time in Masjid or at least 3 time. Join with brother who sit in Quran dars and hadith.

    Talk to your brother regarding your situation and that you want to repent and become good Muslim. Make friendship with your bother friend if they are good and involve in good activities with them.

    If you know any people who are going in khuruj (Tabligh Jamaa) for 4 months join with them as you will be in Masjid 24/7 for 4 months. Reading hadith and praying 5 time and reading Qurna will keep your mind busy and you will get good opportunity to learn about Islam. And it will change your life as most of the people life as i know had changed.

    Sorry if i offended you.
    Jazakallah Khair

  2. There is a very wise Islamic saying 'Every righteous person has a past, and every sinner has a future.' You committed sins, but do not despair of Allah's mercy, because he says in Surat Zumar in the Qur'an:

    Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." 39:53

    The important thing is that you realized the boundaries you crossed. Start out by repenting to Allah, and ask Him to forgive your sins. I mean, Umar ibn al-Khattab (ra) was hard-core in ignorance, and it's best not to go into what he did before he was guided. So now, start out by praying five times a day, on time. It's hard, you may even have to re-learn, but remember, salah is so important- more than anything, it defines our faith as Muslims. Plus, once you get used to it, it will help you so much, I promise. Make dua as much as you can. About your past addiction, I suggest you try fasting and lowering the gaze. Fasting makes you tired, but also suppresses desire and brings us closer to Allah (swt). The Prophet (saw) recommended fasting for the young man who cannot get married.

    Meanwhile, think about what you really want to do with life. Of course, you will need a job. Think about what kind of job could suit your personality best. Then try to volunteer or do small jobs to increas work experience. If you could go back and do a degree, that would be great, but it's also rough. Loans, the fitna, it depends on what options are available. If you want a steady job, try looking, and asking Allah swt to provide you with rizq.

    Give sadaqah as well. This may seem far-fetched, but Allah (swt) mentions in the Qur'an (I forgot which ayah though) that to not fear giving in charity. The reason is it will actually increase your wealth and sustenance.

    If you encounter any other problems, remember that you've turned back to Allah. You can ask your Lord anything you want, when you want it, and never get tired of making dua. Especially in the last third of the night, when Allah swt comes down to the closest heavens, to ask His servants 'Who will ask me for forgiveness so I may forgive him? Who will ask of Me so I may give it to him?' (I read this in a hadith, but can't recall it either. But this works.)

    Insha Allah, everything will turn out okay. Life is meant to break us, hurt us, because this world is nothing. Whether you were a doctor or a beggar in this life won't matter at the end of the day, only our deeds truly will. Don't be afraid to start a clean slate, and don't be afraid that Allah won't answer. Allah will answer.

    Assalamu alaikum

    I ask Allah that this may be of benefit to you, and any mistakes are from myself and Shaytan, and any good is from Allah (swt).

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