Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I need my ex husband back InshaAllah

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Salam Aleykom wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu

Im a soon to be 24 year young muslim woman.

When I was 15 i met my boyfriend after he had moved to my city to his father because of his mothers death. At that time my mother had just abondond me and my family of 6.

I met him a few months after this tragedy happend my family and Wallahi i really felt like it was a gift from God. That he came when I needed him the most and He me.

When i was 17 we moved in together. When i was 19 we married in islamic way and he became a muslim Allhamdulillah.

I rememberd he cried like a child in my arms because he felt so much love from all muslims and my family and that he was just choked of how he felt (in a positive way).

We were so different from each other but still so much alike. He was such a good guy he treated me good he did what he could for me and I to him. We argued alot, that was our problem we took eatch other for granted. But we always came back to eatch other. People always told me that he's such a good man so miskin so pure so good just how he walked and talked, people loved him.

So we found each other when I was 15 we stayed together until I was 22 and a half.

We have been thru sooo much ups and downs. I always thought that he could do more for me that he didn't appreciate me and everything i did for him.

Its been a year now since we broke up.

During this time I made a lot of mistakes which i couldn't bear to have on my shoulders although we were broken up. So i told him what i had done in a email because i wanted him to hear it from me and not some one else.

I didnt expect to get an answer i didnt even want it at that time, i just wanted him to know.

In the past months theres been alot of change Allhamdulillah. Ive been coming back to my religion come nearer to Allaah (swt). And ive realised alot.

For 3-4 months ago if u asked me about my ex i would say- i dont love him any more i barelly think of him, i dont wsnt him and i dont want him to come back.

I did so mutch at that time, so mutch haram things all to accupie my time, and try not to get to reality. I didnt realize that i was so unhappy and broken and cunfuzed.

I first realized i was still in love with him one month ago. I had met a guy witch had everything looks, charm, character, money everything a woman could dream of.

After i had met him I got home and just cried my eyes out I was in chock of what i felt and didnt feel. I realized that Im still in love with my ex that not even a good looking guy that could give me the world made me interested.

That just sitting home with my ex, laughing, eating, playing games and even if he had nothing to offer me but himself i would have chosen him.

Now i know what ive lost. That i had taken for granted the best thing that ever happend to me.

I know thats "If Allaah takes something from you its only to give you something better" and "You might think that something is good for you witch is bad for you"

Ive righten him a text saying what i feel and where i am in life now and i dont expect u to get back with me but i dont want to regret not trying.

He hasnt respond.

What I need from you guys are some guidence and answers.

I'm afraid that I will never feel the same about a person ever again. That my punishment from God is dying knowing I've lost something good. And that even if I do find someone that i will never be satisfied with him because his not Him.

When i pray to God i ask Him to give me guidence and bring him back to me or make my ex just to say anything  to me so i know if i should move on.

I have hope that one day it would be us again InshaAllaah.

Im afraid to move on i dont know what to do i love him i want him.

is there anything u can tell me so i know what to do?

Duas, surahs? Anything i could do to get him back?

I dont know what im looking for.

I just want u to tell me anything that could help me, anything.

I dont know what to do im confuzed but sure that i love him and want him.

ghuraba

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5 Responses »

  1. I dont know why but when I read this it made me somewhat emotional and bought tears to my eyes.
    Most of the posts here usually carry the same theme of problems with marriage, cheating, alone, depressed.
    But this was diff.

    I have started to come back to religion as well and alhamdulillah I feel content in that regard. Please pray in the tahajjud prayer and from your heart and IA things will work out for the better. Sometimes we may need to be away from something as its a test, or if we take for granted to realize what it really means to us. I dont know much of ur situation sister but I am assuming that this is the case. You sound like youve realized your mistakes.

    Plz keep doing dua. In times of distress my mom told me to read Surah Muzammil, read: "La ilaha illa inta subhanaka inni kuniut minazaalimeen" What Prophet Yunus I think read when he was swallowed by the whale. I pray things get better for you and you hear frm soon on a positive note. Ameen tc

  2. Are you Islamically divorced or just living separately without divorce ?

  3. Salam alaikum sister,

    MashAllah your husband became a Muslim, and that you have realized your mistakes and Allah swt has brought you back to the straight path. You shared so much good, but one problem: your husband has lost trust in you. You said you "took him for granted." If this means constant nagging and starting fights over little things, then you have a lot of convincing to do to him before he will ever think of coming back. InshAllah he is thinking about you with love and missing you too, just waiting to see any changes that might make him trust you more. It's not going to happen overnight, sorry sister. We have to wait to see if your husband will come back or not.

    In the mean time, I suggest starting a new chapter in your life, and focus solely on Islam. Make sure to get involved in regular volunteer work, or helping your family members more regularly. This can help build your patience, which is something us married people need a lot of. You can send him an invitation to come volunteer with you, as a type of a date. Or you can also ask mutual friends to mention to him that you are regularly volunteering at ____ and wish he would stop by to say hi. It is good to keep all your lines of communication open between him and you. Try calling him instead of texting him, or after a while try to find a reason to look for him in person, like bringing him a home cooked meal. You can also make dua for Allah swt to show you the straight path and give you patience in your daily life, as well as patience in waiting for your husband to choose his path.

    Based on what you wrote, there is no way to know when or if he is coming back soon. All you can do is try to work on self improvement while you wait. InshAllah he will miss you one day, and then you must never let such a great person be taken for granted again.

    Salam,
    Shereen

  4. Sorry madam but there isn't a special dua or verse that will bring him back to you , you must continue regular duas after prayer

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