Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I need to marry with her – please help me out from this problem


Assalm walaikum Brothers and sisters,

My friend committed Zina with his cousin brother's wife, they are very close with each other and finally they committed Zina. My friend is unmarried man and he wants to stay with her only in his life because he don’t want to marry any another women in this life. Is it possible for him to stay with her lifelong with the permission of his cousin brother because he don’t want to marry any other women and he wants to help with that family life long till his death. If his brother can agree this can he stay with family life long with his parent’s permission to protect them? Please help on this my brothers and sisters. He don’t want to marry any other women in this life and if it is not possible can he live as unmarried in his whole life?

SUltan Munnaf

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7 Responses »

  1. This whole scenario is utterly haram, ridiculous, impossible to believe, and sinful. Your friend is a betrayer of the worst kind, committing zinaa with his cousin's wife. And he is completely deluding himself by thinking that this haram, traitorous relationship can somehow be made halal. It cannot.

    How can you imagine for a second that the cousin would give permission for this to continue? That's an insane idea. If I were the cousin and I found out, I would kill the one who cheated with my wife, - or at least put him in the hospital - and divorce the wife.

    This friend of yours is lost in a corrupt dream. If he had any sense, morals or fear of Allah, he would end the adulterous relationship immediately and move far away in order to remove the temptation of cheating with that woman again. Astaghfirullah, what is the world coming to when people commit the worst haram, and want to try to make it halal?

    Wael Editor

    • Thanks for you Answer,

      What should he do right know, he has trying to make his life as halal because he done wrong and like to correct his life, if he will marry any other women it will be a again mistake in his life and he want to with her in this world till his last breath and after death also.May Allah will know every thing what he help and what did with their family. He s with in every moment of their life when they are in struggles and pains he help lot with them in this way they done this and he don't want to make any another women life in ruble if she know this truth what happens in his past life,Is it possible if he can live all his life without marrige and asking a forgiveness with Allah.

      • Brother, she is NOT HIS WIFE. She is someone else's wife. This person sounds like he is bordering on mentally ill or dangerously obsessed. He is committing a major sin.

        There is only one thing to do: cut off his relationship with her completely. Do not see her, call her, email her or text her. He might feel right now like he can never love anyone else, but that feeling will pass in time. Eventually he will meet some other lovely woman and marry her Insha'Allah. Or if he chooses to live his life without marriage, fine. But he needs to get away from this married woman. This relationship is an abomination in the sight of Allah.

        Wael Editor

  2. No .this is not allowed .Zina is biggest sin .if he dies during the act of Zina he will die as kaafir and permananent hell ...

    • Of course it is haram and a sin, but you have no evidence to say that he will be in hell permanently. If you are referring to the hadith that one who dies in a state of zinaa dies as a kafir, this is referring to minor kufr, meaning he is committing a serious sin and is not living his life like a Muslim. It is not the major kufr like denying Allah's existence or worshiping false gods.

      I was under the impression that you were going to stick with the username "illogical". You've gone from that to Engine to Anon to Friend.

      Wael Editor

  3. Salam Sultan Manaf,

    I'm sure your friend is hurting pretty badly in being in love with this woman and not being able to be with her. If he still wants to be with her the best option would be for that woman to divorce her husband and for her to then marry your friend. But your friend should realize that there are consequences of this action. Relationships formed this way can have issues down the road.

    Right now that woman looks special and those stolen moments with her seem precious. But once he's with her full time that honeymoon period will only last a couple of years. After that life is back to normal with handling bills and trying to stay together. At that time your friend may develop distrust in that if she was not chaste in her marriage before, how could she remain chaste in her marriage with him now that the honeymoon period is over. The woman may also develop distrust in that if your friend was willing to break up a marriage to be with her then what prevents him from liking another woman that is married.

    Eventually this distrust can end up destroying the relationship or at least ruin it to the point that the people aren't as happy anymore.

    Islamically speaking though, there isn't anything allowing your friend's cousin brother to allow his wife to have relations with your friend.

    Overall though the main thing to worry about right now for your friend is gaining forgiveness for zina. I also recommend keeping this in mind:

    Whoever should desire the immediate - We hasten for him from it what We will to whom We intend. Then We have made for him Hell, which he will [enter to] burn, censured and banished.

    But whoever desires the Hereafter and exerts the effort due to it while he is a believer - it is those whose effort is ever appreciated [by Allah ].

    Your friend may strive to gain her but the happiness with her is temporary and being with her through zina is increasing his chances of entering hell.

    One last thing I would mention is that your friend's cousin brother is not going to be happy about hearing that his wife cheated on him. It will not be as simple as asking to borrow a cup of sugar from him. And of course it's not good that your friend pursued her instead of supporting her relationship with her husband. I recommend that you advise your friend to be patient and do the right thing for the woman and her husband.

  4. Assalamualaikum,

    I am not understanding this question clearly at all. Are you saying the cousins brother would willingly let your friend be with his wife? Does the the cousins brother know that your friend and his wife committed Zina?

    No man or woman would let anyone be with their spouse. It is forbidden to commit Zina in the first place so committing Zina with someone else's wife doesn't make it better. Both the wife and your friend committed a major sin that is disliked by Allah and right now, they should be sincere in repentance especially in the month of Ramadan.

    And if were your friend, I would ask myself why did I get involved in someone else's marriage? I would let that woman go because if she can cheat on her husband, she can likely cheat on you too if somehow they are together.

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