Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I regret what I have done but I still love my girl

lonely man, losing her,

Assalamu alikkum... I'm 20yrs.
I had a girl in my life who I loved a lot. I cared for her so much and believed in her. After about six months of our relation we started to meet and unfortunately eventually we did the biggest sins. Later on we were having issues between us and were on the point of breakup. I talked and pleaded so much. She said she wants and loves another guy. I asked her to stay but she said she doesn't love me and she left. And now she's said she's in a relation with the other guy. I can't imagine of marrying someone else. I still love her a lot and still ready to accept her if she returned. I regret for what I did. In my case what should I do? Should I force her to marry me because I believe marrying some other girl is like cheating that girl. Or should I tell the other guy who she's in relationship everything and ask him to leave? Because he doesn't know anything and I feel like he doesn't deserve her. I'm so depressed, my life is not moving, it's stuck and I feel like my punishment from Allah will never be over. I decided to have an umrah... will I be forgiven? What should I do if not?

akib bin tariq

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4 Responses »

  1. as-salaam-u-alaikum-wr-wb..

    The first thing you should do is Tawbah. Ask Allah forgiveness and do not commit Zina again.

    Secondly, nothing lasts kept with force. And you are not advised to expose her faults to anyone. If anything you should keep a pardah (cover) on her misdoings.

    You should perhaps try communicating with her by telling her that you want to marry her. Although, the ultimate decision is with her.

    And we must not forget that you've landed in this situation by your own misdoings. so please do Tawbah. If this helps: life does move on.

    (Something that may help you: Is Istikhara; seeking guidance directly from Allah in this matter)

    I hope I've been helpful.

  2. Assalaamu Alaykum,

    I think the girl has made it clear to you that she is moving on from the relationship she had with you. She has made her choice, and you need to respect that. Trying to force her into something or meddle into the current relationship she has would only be immature and be more sins upon your account.

    We all have to learn hard lessons in life. We learn, after getting into sinful situations, how serious and painful it can be when it doesn't work out. That is why staying within the protective boundaries Allah has set for us is important- when we stay there we won't have to deal with the pain of having gotten close and intimate with someone and then having to be ripped away or let them go. So many people are learning this, and now you have tasted it as well.

    In time you will fall in love again, and in shaa Allah you will handle it properly and in a halal fashion. Your memories of this girl will be without pain or feeling, and you will move on too. Repent, be patient, and be focused on not repeating the same mistakes. In shaa Allah He will bring you to something better and that will be a comfort for you.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. No u shouldn't tell the other guy if u conceal someone else's sin in this life then allah swt will conceal ur sins on the day of judgement. It's time to move on this heartache you have is the reason why we should not have pre marital relationships or even come close to zina

  4. Allah Aza Wa Jal forgives all sins.. Making an umrah is a sign that there is so much goodness in you and this thought is in of itself a sign that Allah has intended good for you so Ibshir (have good tidings) and make umrah and obey Allah and His Messneger Salla'Allahu Aalaihi Wa Sallam abover everything and everyone. (Including your Nafs)

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