I remain upset most of the time
Dear brothers and sisters, my problem is again the cousin I love. It's been more than a year I am unable to get out of his thoughts.
In 2014 January his mother came to Pakistan and call us immediately to come for khatum, so me and my sister went, she gave us to eat there were rice and sweet dishes in the presence of other guests, they ate it too. It's kind of strange thing to share as I really never believed in such things but I think that she did something, after a month naturally I start feeling attraction towards him.
This time his father came but whenever he talks about our marriages and the bureau then I get upset very upset to think about him. He asked me if I like someone I said no.
But I really want to marry my cousin. whenever I think it makes me cry. There is other problem that my other cousin likes him as well and she all the time bully me on facebook with hidden words. But then I think she is only 16 and it's just a feeling. I don't even know about my feeling but one thing I don't want to lose him and thinking about it makes me cry. I wait for his father but he never speak of his proposal except his mother told me that she will but then due to his younger son's health she could not come to Pakistan. What should I do? My friends say to tell him and end this matter up.
Please tell me any dua. I fear all the time.
Lorelei Lee
2 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
OP: I really want to marry my cousin. whenever I think it makes me cry.......This time his father came but whenever he talks about our marriages and the bureau then I get upset very upset to think about him. He asked me if I like someone I said no.
Does your aunt or uncle know you want to marry their son? Is your cousin in love with you?
What makes you think your cousin is going to marry you?
Assalaamualaikam
Sometimes we need to stand up for ourselves and tell people what we want. If you want to marry your cousin, then tell your parents that you're interested - ask them to make enquiries into whether a marriage could be possible.
There can be cultural pressure that it "should be the man" who initiates a proposal, but remember that Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) raised the issue of marriage with The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), and that Islam has a long history of assertive and strong women. Exercise your right to take an active role in choosing a spouse, and don't feel that you have to sit around waiting in case a proposal comes.
It may help to pray istikhara - we have several articles about this published on this site, so maybe read those? We also have a section of the website discussing various duas, so it might help to read about those and see if any might apply to your own worries.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor