Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I sometimes lose faith in my religion

I am a 15 years old and sometimes lose faith in Islam. Now this isn't because something bad happens and I ask "why would Allah let this happen" its because I question everything including religion. I chalk it up to "humans aren't suppose to understand". The main reason though is fear of death. I'm scared that I might die but only to find out there is no afterlife. Im also surrounded by misinformation of islam I.E the entire internet. I get angry when I see so many lies and then I see people who believe it and so on. With all this negitivity against muslims it just gets me down. Don't get me wrong I am very religious and this only started recently. I only pray once a day and ignore all the alarms that go off telling me to pray only to regret it later. I want to but I am to lazy and unhappy like every other 1st world teenager. I've been born pessimistic like my dad so there's never a lot of light to shine anywhere.  I see my cousins who always pray and have memorized countless surahs and I want to be like them but I'm here busy with homework or cleaning. I'm constantly stressed and worry over the smallest things. Can anyone help.


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5 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaikam

    I'm going to start by saying something that might sound strange - questioning things can be a very good thing. Questioning means we don't blindly accept whatever is put in front of us, and instead seek out knowledge and answers to our questions. Without people asking about things, we wouldn't have many of the advances that make our lives better today (sanitation, antibiotics, computers, etc.).

    Having questions about faith can be healthy, as it shows a desire to learn more and gain a better understanding of the principles. Rather than looking at this as losing your faith, try to look at it as developing a more personal relationship with your faith, and seek the answers to your questions. If you can, why not try attending Islamic studies classes or courses within your local area? Another option could be to get involved with a Muslim youth organisation, such as MyDeen.

    Praying 5 times a day takes willpower and commitment, and sometimes we may not manage it, but by trying really hard, we can inshaAllah get into the habit of praying regularly. If alarms aren't working, think about other things that might help. For example, if you use a smartphone or computer a lot, maybe change your background to an image that reminds you to pray. Or decide that after each prayer, you'll spend half an hour doing something that you really enjoy, and set an alarm to remind you to do that thing... but only after you pray (once you get into the habit, praying itself may well become the thing you really enjoy). If you miss a prayer, don't give up - do the prayer when you remember, and keep trying.

    Midnightmoon editor

  2. I am in my late twenties now but I have gone through something similar in earlier years. Perhaps my experience will help you... In my childhood days i didnt think about religion much. I beleived in Allah, kept away from sin but never gave religion any thought. And later when I started to I was constantly gripped by the question that whether all my prayers and acceptance of God were futile because perhaps none of it existed. My doubts were generic. Its not like i had a problem with islam but with the concept of God. i started to think that perhaps the atheists and the scientists were right in saying that God simply didnt exist and the world was ruled by science and physical laws rather then any divine being... and everything all religions were just fabrications which with time had taken the shape of reality and just as myths become truth for a civilization the human race had made reality out of the myth of God... this doubt really changed me. I was a good child but this made me doubt even my own goodness. What was the use of anything? We are just atoms and molecules with nothing to answer to anyone. We will die one day and nothing is going to happen after that. We will simple cease to exist and later decompose. So like you i started to doubt the afterlife too..
    And then something strange happened to fight this doubt in myself. i started to learn about my religion. More than the superficiality which was just fed into me as a child and now I dont even remember what was it that slowly turned my ways but there were small little things that quelled my doubts naturally... going back to sallat helped greatly. So i suggest take try following the above advice by midnightmoon. One incident i remember is that I used to get bad dreams and about this particular thing I wished not to think about... it would get me very upset and ruin my entire day. So one night I prayed that i shouldnt get that dream and it worked. I had the option that day to put it as a coincidence.. that my subconscious was responsible for me not dreaming that dream. That i had nothing to do with the prayer. However i chose not to take that path... i quelled the doubts that day by reminding myself that shaitaan was playing with my mind. And that little incident has become a milestone in my life. I no longer have doubts about the existence of Allah but whenever I feel low about anything I just remind myself that Allah talla heard my prayers that day. He will hear them again. It has made my entire life so hopeful.
    I still get depressed sometimes and sometimes feel lazy about performing salaat but at each of these tines i have adopted one thing. I tell myself (loudly if need be) that I am letting shaittan win and I must not. That automatically generates a conscious in me to do the right thing. Go pray, think positively, thank Allah.
    Maybe you can start something like that too....
    Its okay to question. You are young but remember you always have options to choosing differently. InshaAllah Allah will help.

    • Read ur comment... i was also suffering from it in my teens... by following this same stratgey i became alright but now again in my twenties i am again falling in that same weakness of eeman . That i tht much sinner do Allah will forgive me ... and all shetani thoughts taking over me .. trying to getout of this situation but couldnt .

    • Assalamuailakum, I too fear about the afterlife. What if we end up into nothingness and there is no hell or heaven? Your comment is the only comment I've been searching for, for the past 5 to 6 months. I'm a Muslim and I sometimes lose faith and I also try to pray 5 times a day. I sometimes suffer with anxiety when I think about this. I need your advise and explanation. Hoping for your response.

  3. Assalamwalekum
    I was going through some other posts on this site when I came across another problem like yours. Like you the sister in question is also young (She was 17 when she had posted her question in 2011). I am logfed through my phone so I am having difficulties posting the particular link but the question was similar as' I have lost faith in Allah... '... perhaps you look for it if you like.
    However it is one of the replies (posted by brother Bro) that got my attention and hers too. I was very effected by it and I am posting it here for you and for anybody else who may benefit from it. May Allah bless him.
    The following is the full reply

    Salaam Beautiful Sister,

    How are you? I see you’re being taken closer to Allah, Allah must love you more than me!

    The mere fact that you have posted this comment makes me believe without a shadow of a doubt that you have incredible imaan in you! More than you comprehend!

    Shaytan hates you! Hates you more than you can ever imagine!

    ...Shaytan hates you more than he hates me!

    Allah has gifted me with everything! Alhamdulillah! I have everything! Things that people like you only ever dream of! Allahuakbar!

    But Sis, I'm not content... I still want more... Shaytans playing on my desires - to push to want more...

    Sometimes he succeeds and then I'm sure he has a good laugh to himself... but I know that he won the battle, but I am eager to win the war! And I'm still fighting, I will continue to find, and I'm certain he will win a few more battles - but my ultimate aim is to win the war.

    Sis, he hates you more than he hates me.

    He hates you because you’re beautiful! If he can take you down, he can take a few men down with you!

    He hates you because you’re young, and yet you recognize Allah and have imaan.

    It took me till 21 to recognize who my true love (Allah) is.

    Sis, he is trying to suade and failing and that’s why he hates you. And he knows that the imaan in you is too powerful for him to change you... so instead hi resorting to whatever he can make you do.

    Sister you are too valuable to your family and friends. You are too valuable to me, your brother. And to all the brothers and sisters out there. You know that too! And that’s why you will never commit anything that can jeopardize your life. Sister, you are too intelligent to even let an ounce of doubt enter your soul - that will never happen! And Shaytan knows that - and that’s why he hates you.

    Sister with "every pain/difficulty there is relief, indeed with every pain/difficulty there is relief" - these are the words of the one that loves you and you love - for certain! These are the words of your beloved Lord, the lord of the universe... "inna ma'al usri yusraa, fa inna ma'al usri yusraa"...

    Allah loves you more than you can ever comprehend! That’s why he is calling you closer to him. Allah tests those that he loves.... why? To bring them closer to him. Those that he doesn’t care about, he ignores them and leaves them be until the appointed time. They will come to know.

    Sister in a few days, weeks or maybe even years you will be over this and come out stronger than ever before, your imaan in Allah will be more superior than most of you peers and Allah will give you what you need to rest your heart.

    You’re young yes. But you are mature. And you’re clearly a fighter! You will fight out of this one no doubt.

    Sister put me in your shoes and I would crack in a day. But that’s why Allah hasn't put me in your shoes, Allah knows I can't cope - Allah only tests us with what we can bear.

    But Allah knows that you are strong! And that’s why you are there. Sister these experiences will help you. One day you will be the one giving support to others. You will be writing and helping others. In fact this message of yours will be a light a to so many - so many that are your shoes - and you will probably see them posting their comments here of the trials and grief that they are suffering.

    Beautiful Sis, Junnah is expensive, Junnah is expensive, Junnah is expensive. You’re buying Junnah with your trials.

    Sis, no can help you accept ALLAH and YOU.

    Shaytan, i'm sure will offer his help. But you’re too clever too intelligent too amazing a muslimah a mujahida to accept his offer.

    You will be fine. It’s just another rainy day, which will be over soon. Just hold on! You will see - this a promise I can make, because its a promise Allah has made - Allahs promise is true!

    "inna ma'al usri yusraa, fa inna ma'al usri yusraa"...

    "With every pain/difficulty there is relief, indeed with every pain/difficulty there is relief"

    Beautiful sister,

    Just as the night overtakes the day and then the day overtakes the night...

    similarly, we will have good days and then bad days will take over... and then good days will take over the bad ones and so on and so forth...

    thats the case for every good muslim until the day of judgement...

    In fact the great sahabas used to be more fearful in times of good, because they were certain the bad is around the corner, they just didn’t know what it might be - would it take over the imaan would it take them to breaking point? They preferred their bad times because they were already in it and fighting they have been on the edge but at least they haven’t fallen... so they'd keep fighting... they were at least in a zone which they were managing.

    Beautiful Sister you are managing - that’s why you have written this post - beautiful sister, yes you may have be finding it tough now, but just hold on a little longer.

    Some of the Sahaba and the Messenger of Allah went through so much difficulty that they asked ... when will the help of Allah come? They were told indeed the help of Allah is near?

    ''Or do you think that you shall enter the gardens of Bliss (al-Jannah) without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They encountered suffering and adversity and they were shaken, that even the messenger and those who believed with him cried, When will come the help of Allah! And verily, the help of Allah is near!'' [TMQ 2:214]

    My beautiful sister Allah is paving the way for you to live in Junnah with him.

    And where is this place that your beloved Lord wants you to share with him?

    From the book: Haadi al-Arwaah ilaa Bilaad il-Afraah, By: Ibn al-Qayyim. He said, in regards to the description of the Paradise and the delights that it contains [the following]:

    "And if you ask about its ground and its soil, then it is of musk and saffron.

    And if you ask about its roof, then it is the Throne of the Most Merciful.

    And if you ask about its rocks, then they are pearls and jewels.

    And if you ask about its buildings, then they are made of bricks of gold and silver.

    And if you ask about its trees, then it does not contain a single tree except that its trunk is made of gold and silver.

    And if you ask about its fruits, then they are softer than butter and sweeter than honey.

    And if you ask about its leaves, then they are softer than the softest cloth.

    And if you ask about its rivers, then there are rivers of milk who's taste does not change, and rivers of wine that is delicious to those who drink it, and rivers of honey that is pure, and rivers of water that is fresh.

    And if you ask about their food, then it is fruits from whatever they will choose, and the meat of whatever birds they desire.

    And if you ask about their drink, then it is Tasneem, ginger, and Kaafoor.And if you ask about their drinking cups, then they are crystal-clear and made of gold and silver.

    And if you ask about its shade, then a fast rider would ride in the shade of o­ne of its trees for a hundred years and not escape it.

    And if you ask about its vastness, then the lowest of its people would have within his kingdom and walls and palaces and gardens the distance that would be traveled in a thousand years.

    And if you ask about its tents and encampments, then o­ne tent is like a concealed pearl that is sixty miles long.

    And if you ask about its towers, then they are rooms above rooms in buildings that have rivers running underneath them.

    And if you ask about how far it reaches into the sky, then look at the shining star that is visible, as well as those that are far in the heavens that the eyesight cannot possibly reach.

    And if you ask about the clothing of its inhabitants, then they are of silk and gold.

    And if you ask about its beds, then its blankets are of the finest silk laid out in the highest of its levels.

    And if you ask about the faces of its inhabitants and their beauty, then they are like the image of the Moon.And if you ask about their age, then they are young o­nes of 33 years in the image of Adam, the father of humanity.And if you ask about what they will be hearing, then it is the singing of their wives from among the Hoor al-'Ayn, and better than that are the voices of the Angels and the Prophets, and better than that is the Speech of the Lord of the Worlds.

    And if you ask about their servants, then they are young boys of everlasting youth who resemble scattered pearls.

    And if you ask about their brides and wives, then they are young and full-breasted and have had the liquid of youth flow through their limbs; the Sun runs along the beauty of her face if she shows it, light shines from between her teeth if she smiles; if you meet her love, then say whatever you want regarding the joining of two lights; he sees his face in the roundness of her cheek as if he is looking into a polished mirror, and he sees the brightness from behind her muscles and bones; if she were to be unleashed upon the World, she would fill what is between the Heavens and the Earth with a beautiful wind, and the mouths of the creation would glorify, praise, and exclaim greatness, and everything between the East and the West would be adorned for her, and every eye would be shut from everything but her, and the light of the Sun would be outshone just as the light of the Sun outshines the light of the stars, and everyone o­n the face of the Earth would believe in the Ever-Living, the o­ne who Sustains and Protects all the exists.

    And the covering o­n her head is better than the World and all that is in it, and she does not increase with age except in beauty; free from an umbilical cord, childbirth and menses, and pure of mucous, saliva, urine and other filthy things; her youth never fades, her clothing is never worn out, no garment can be created that matches her beauty, and no o­ne who is with her can ever become bored; her attention is restricted to her husband, so she desires none but him, just as his attention is restricted to her so she is the sole object of his desire, and he is with her in utmost safety and security, as none has touched her before of either humans or Jinn.And if you ask about the Day of Increase (in reward) and the visit of the all-Mighty, all-Wise, and the sight of His Face - free from any resemblance or likeness to anything - as you see the Sun in the middle of the day and the full Moon o­n a cloudless night, then listen o­n the day that the caller will call:

    'O People of Paradise! Your Lord - Blessed and Exalted - requests you to visit Him, so come to visit Him!' So they will say: 'We hear and obey!'

    Until, when they finally reach the wide valley where they will all meet - and none of them will turn down the request of the caller - the Lord - Blessed and Exalted - will order His Chair to be brought there.

    Then, pulpits of light will emerge, as well as pulpits of pearls, gemstone, gold, and silver. The lowest of them in rank will sit o­n sheets of musk, and will not see what those who are o­n the chairs above them are given. When they are comfortable where they are sitting and are secure in their places, and the caller calls:

    'O People of Paradise! You have an appointment with Allaah in which He wishes to reward you!' So they will say: 'And what is that reward? Has He not already made our faces bright, made our scales heavy, entered us into Paradise, and pushed us away from the Fire?'

    And when they are like that, all of a sudden a light shines that encompasses all of Paradise. So, they raise their heads, and, behold: the Compeller - Exalted is He, and Holy are His Names - has come to them from above them and majestified them and said:

    'O People of Paradise! Peace be upon you!' So, this greeting will not be responded to with anything better than: 'O Allaah! You are Peace, and from You is Peace! Blessed are You, O possessor of Majesty and Honor!'

    My beautiful sister Shaytaan is calling you to join him in his final abode, his home...he wants you to live with him there. And where is this place he wants you to share with him?...

    “Indeed, those who disbelieve in Our verses – We will drive them into a Fire. Every time their skins are roasted through We will replace them with other skins so they may taste the punishment. Indeed, God is ever Exalted in Might and Wise.” (Quran 4:56

    “…poured upon their heads will be scalding water by which is melted that within their bellies and (their) skins.” (Quran 22:19-20)

    “Those who deny the Book (the Quran) and that with which We sent Our messengers – they are going to know, when the shackles are around their necks and the chains; they will be dragged in boiling water; then in the Fire they will be filled (with flame).” (Quran 40:70-72)

    and We will gather them on the Day of Resurrection (fallen) on their faces – blind, dumb and deaf. Their refuge is Hell; every time it subsides We increase them in blazing fire.” (Quran 17:97)

    “And brings an evil deed — such will be flung down on their faces into the Fire, (and it will be said), ‘Are you recompensed for anything but what you used to do?’” (Quran 27:90)

    “The Fire will burn their faces and they will grin therein, their lips displaced.” (Quran 23:104)

    “The Day their faces will be turned over in the Fire, they will say, ‘How we wish we had obeyed God and obeyed the Messenger.’” (Quran 33:66)

    Well, Shaytan, I feel sorry for him... the guy is doomed, in fact I don’t feel sorry for him because he saw Allah, yet because of his arrogance he disobeyed Allah... So he has had it!

    You my love, are an amazing creation you are a beautiful child of your father ADAM. Allah created you and fashioned with love. He wants the best for you. But since Shaytan challenged Allah saying he will takes us down with him, Allah said some will go with you but my true servants will stay on the truth...

    YOU are one of those amazing servants, you are ready to sacrifice yourself for the cause of Allah if the need came today to separate the world in to two the believers and non believers for whatever reason, and you had to say what you are - would you abandon your love, Allah and your brothers and sisters in Islam and take the side of the KUFFAR or would you stay firm with the believers? I know what you would do my lovely sis - I know exactly what you would opt for.

    If someone asked what religion are you on a form tomorrow? What would you write? Muslim, I'm sure of that sis.

    Why am I so sure?

    Because you posted this message - your imaan urged you to post this - you have made it clear to the rest of the muslim ummah that you submit by posting this - this an evidence for you - a proof for you that you are muslim and now all those reading have become witnesses that you have imaan and you are fighting shaytan to keep a hold of it. Youre in my eyes a mujahida - Allah accept you my beloved sister! Allah inspired you to post this not to help you - my love you are already strong - rather those that are in a similar position as you but need even more help! You have become the guiding light my sis. You have a responsibility to be strong for all of them now - your story will be told by many to help others, many will read your post and find inspiration in this. Well done sis!

    You’re amazing! Allahuakbar!


    Your brothers and sisters in islam!

    One love, one ummah

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