Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I stole my mother’s jewelry and gave it as charity

Giving gold

I stole my mother's gold jewelry. It was not for my own benefit... I gave them to someone who was in dire need of money to pay up for university fees...

I wanted to help. I was thinking that I will give it as charity to someone who needs it. I know I stole, and I will repent on it - I will ask for forgiveness from Allah...there's no other way out.

I know it may be too late for my parents to know that one of their jewelry is missing, and maybe or maybe not, they wouldn't know who did it. But I know that at the Day of Judgement, I will have to face Allah and tell Him that I stole my mother's jewelry.

But it wasn't for my own benefit... it was for someone else.

Is there a dua for forgiveness for stealing?? I'm still feeling shaky and it's becoming a bit difficult for me to be normal around my parents after what I've done behind their backs. Please help...


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11 Responses »

  1. Tell your parents you had no right to steal from your parents regardless of the situation. Shame on you CONFESS you did wrong. Next time get a job and earn your own way to give back your parents deserve better than a thief in the family!

  2. When I read your post right away I felt the sense that you were trying to fool yourself by calling it charity when you give money to your friend or acquaintance who needs money to cover their university fees. Simply providing somebody with resources because they're in need does not excuse how you get those resources if how you get them is by stealing. Obviously you know this but if you truly believed it in your heart then you would know that it makes absolutely no difference to all the readers to read your posts why you stole from your mother. It does not matter what you did with the money it does not matter if you saved a life or saved your self or purchased narcotics or helped a friend or went shopping with the money or even it would not matter if you took that money from the gold jewelry and saved it secretly for the benefit of your parents later in life . The fact of the matter is that you took an item that you had no right to take and you liquidated the assets without the permission of the owner. If you really needed university fees yourself then would you be okay with somebody coming in the middle of the night stealing your car selling it and paying off your university fees with the money? Absolutely not. Now imagine if somebody came and stole your car and paid not your own university fees but somebody else's university fees with the money. The very first thing that you would do is proclaim that you are the owner of the object and they had no right the second thing you would do is proclaim your own need in your life and announce where you would have spent that money if you had decided to liquidate the gold jewelry into spendable cash the third thing you would do is demand compensation. You need to understand the difference between right and wrong and not confuse good actions with good intentions. Because as they say here in the West especially in the United States the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
    You should repent and expect a few things to be consequence of your actions first a reduction in trust second possibly some damage to your family relationship and third you should expect your mother to demand compensation. Get a good idea of the actual monetary value of the jewelry before you approach your parents so you will be prepared for them to demand a dollar value and you will be knowledgeable of the actual current market value of the item you stole seeing as gold is one of the metals who's price tends to go up-and-down quite drastically from day to day. I'm not saying you have a right to negotiate after all the jewelry could've carried some sentimental value. But since you have done so many wrong things thus far with little information now would be a good time to begin informing yourself of the gravity of what you stole.
    Lastly I really think that you should feel some shame for yourself I feel like from the tone of your original post that you haven't yet digested the gravity and the weight of your wrongdoing. So reflect on that and ask for forgiveness from Allah, but also keep in mind that you will have to repent to your parents.

    Please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors in this post it was posted using a voice to text device. Salam


  3. It doesn't matter who you stole from your mother for, the issue here is that you stole from her. Your mother's jewelry is not your's to give away to anyone, for any reason. It doesn't even sound like you repent for your sin, you are excusing it by saying "it was for someone else's benefit". It doesn't matter whose benefit it was for, stealing is wrong no matter what.

    You need to replace the jewelry you have stolen from your mother ASAP. That's the decent thing to do. Either buy her new jewelry that is worth as much as you took from her, or give her money that matches the value of the jewelry you stole from her. And from now on, stop taking things that don't belong to you. If you want to help people, help them from your own pocket, but don't pick from others'.

  4. I have a feeling you gave it to a guy you like? What else have you have given him or planning to give him?

    Does he have a family who can financially support him? Can he get financial aid from government?
    Is he into drugs? Have you stolen things before? If you can steal from your mom, you can also steal from others.

    • Dearest, try dropping the accusatory tone. It's kind of offensive and it is not helping in any way. Besides, don't you think you were hasty to make some rather unjustified assumptions?

  5. Salam Sarahsheen,
    If your mother noticed jewelry missing she is going to blame some one innocent who has access to your home like servant, any family visitor or friends. She will not blame outside thief because he would have taken it all.

    It is your responsibility to make sure no one get blamed and pay price for mistake done by you.

    There is Hadith that deed is according to intention.

    If you had no motives behind helping friend other then sake of Allah then you may be forgiven on day of judgement however if friend is some guy you like as questioned above , then you definitely have made grave mistake and need to repent. Come clean with you mother. Cry,plead.Parents have tendency to forgive even most unforgiving mistakes and sin.

  6. Till parents is the best thing to do explain to your mother what you have done sweetie , your mother is the one who needs to forgive you in the eyes of Allah u need to be truthful and work for your money then give charity. Good luck!!!

  7. Sister,

    The saddest thing about this whole scenario is that the jewelry you stole was not just something that held monetary held a special place in your mothers heart. A piece of the jewelry that you stole could have been a gift to her from her mother or grandmother or someone else very special in her life. You had no right to take something that did not belong to you end of story. You might as well come clean and sit down with your parents and tell them what you did. The sooner the better.


  8. I agree you have no no no idea what will be the outcome before it's too late confess your mistake and ask forgiveness front our mother. Trust me by keeping quite won't make easier it will be harder then you can imagine.

  9. Assalaamualaikam

    Stealing is wrong. What happened here wasn't charity, but theft - charity is when we give from our own property, finances or time (etc) to help people in need. We can't go around taking things from other people and giving them away.

    You need to take action to try to make this right. Is there any way that you can get the jewellery back? Maybe ask the person you gave it to if they can return it to you, or if they can tell you who they gave it to so you can try to buy it back from them. That way you could return it to your parents, inshaAllah.

    The thing with jewellery etc is that it isn't just about the financial value - often, the sentimental value of a piece of jewellery is far more significant. I would imagine it would be far more upsetting to lose a cherished family heirloom than to lose the equivalent amount of money, as heirlooms are unique and cannot be replaced easily. If there is any way to retrieve it, I'd urge you to try.

    If you can't get the jewellery back, then you'll need to look for another way to make this up to your parents. And you'll need to tell them what you've done. As has already been said, if they notice the jewellery is missing, they may accuse an innocent person. They may well be angry, but they're your parents and inshaAllah they will still love you. Be honest with them, tell them that you were wrong and you are sorry, and accept any reasonable sanctions they impose. Ask them how you can make amends and ask them to help you change so that this never happens again.

    Midnightmoon editor

  10. Dearest, try dropping the accusatory tone. It's kind of offensive and it is not helping in any way. Besides, don't you think you were hasty to make some rather unjustified assumptions?

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