Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I touched my female cousin without her consent. I feel terrible.

Sexual harassment.Salam,

So, months ago when I was in Peshawar in Pakistan, I touched my female cousin's bum (we are both the same age) without her consent. When I found out I did not have consent, I stopped immediately.

What do I do? I feel so bad and I feel like I will go to hell for this. How can I repent and how do I get forgiveness from her?

I can't tell anyone in my family because I could get killed. I am in a pakhtoon family. I feel bad every day and even hit myself in my private part and every other part of the body 5 times a day. Every day I feel so bad and embarrassed.

How do I repent? I worry everyday because of this scum act I did.

Brother

 


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5 Responses »

  1. Asalamualaykum Brother,

    Thank you for writing in to better understand your situation and seek solutions.

    You have not stated what ages you two are, but if you have reached puberty and were not just "playing around" as kids sometimes do mistakenly, then this is a serious mistake of which you are well aware. It's a positive thing that you are feeling accordingly and wanting to repent so badly. It means you are on the right track.

    You are beating yourself up physically, which is haram and not allowed, as it is on the path to self-harm and even suicide. Please do not do this, as hard as it is to refrain and regardless of how guilty you feel.

    Rather, what you need to do is simple. Pray, do Istighfar, and make dua to Allah to keep you away from such playful acts, as they can become much more inappropriate or commonplace with time. If you are praying your 5 daily Salah, you will yourself become more conscious of your behavior.

    To be honest, people may differ on how to approach this issue with your cousin, but I personally would not bring it up again. It will be uncomfortable and lead to conversation of such issues with someone of the opposite gender, which you do not want to do. Furthermore, by your refraining from such attention in the future, it will be established that there is an understanding between you two. Just seek repentance from Allah alone and In sha Allah you will be forgiven if you do not repeat the mistake.

    On the bright side, I want to mention that the fact that you are taking this so seriously and wanting to do right by her is a breath of fresh air in a world where all kinds of inappropriate behavior is becoming widespread and common. Please do not worry. You are not a bad person, and only need to refrain from this act in the future.

    Nor
    IslamicAnswers

    • yes im 13, also i talked to my parents about it and they said i was overreacting and nothing bad really happened. they even said dont worry it was just some stupid thing you 2 did does not matter.

      • Salam brother,

        Ok. Your parents know you pretty well, I'm sure. I still say good on you for taking this seriously. 🙂

        Best!

        Nor
        IslamicAnswers

  2. Wa Ws

    How old are you?

  3. yes im 13, also i talked to my parents about it and they said i was overreacting and nothing bad really happened. they even said dont worry it was just some stupid thing you 2 did does not matter. thats what they said

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