Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want a Christian husband to let me raise my children as Muslims

Can Muslim-Christian marriages work?I wish to marry a Christian man who will permit me to raise my children as Muslims.

I have been told I cannot do the nikah (get married) and I feel in a dilemma.

Will my marriage under English law be permitted as a sin?

My mother said also she will abandon me as a daughter.

Is this right?

- Sister Fahmida

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6 Responses »

  1. Asalaamualaikum, Sister Fahmida,

    A Muslim woman can only marry a Muslim man. So if you were to proceed with this marriage, it would be valid under English Law, but invalid and a major sin in Islamic Law as ruled by Allah (swt).

    There are many logical reasons why this is so, if you read some of the previous posts on inter-faith marriages, Brother Wael has given comprehensive answers which may be useful for you to read.

    Sister, why are you considering marrying a non-Muslim? If you were passionate about your deen, surely you would want a husband who shares the same beliefs and way of life as yourself. Maybe you are going through a phase of low eemaan?

  2. Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

    Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah

    It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. Men are the supporters and maintainers of women, and they have an element of responsibility for their wives and can influence them, and Islam will not allow a Muslim woman to be put in a position of weakness in regards to her religion by being under the influence of a non-Muslim husband.

    I urge you to separate from this Christian man whom you want to marry. Obviously, you do not have a correct understanding of how men and women should interact, or you would not have developed an affection for him in the first place. I advise you to take some time to learn about Islam so that you understand the beauty of your religion, and the wisdom of not having a relationship before marriage, and the necessity of only marrying a strong Muslim who will help you in your faith and help you to raise good Muslim children.

    Obviously, you have faith in your heart because you understand that children need to be raised Muslim. But even before considering children, consider yourself. You are thinking about marrying a man who believes that Jesus, peace be upon him, is God. This is "shirk" in Islam and is the one unforgivable sin. This means that you are saying that you are okay marrying someone who does not believe in Allah as the One God, and who will be in the hellfire if he does not repent from this belief. Are you so caught up in this worldly life that you are willing to join him in the Hellfire? Because if you marry him even by English law, Islam does not recognize this marriage and you will be living in fornication according to Islam.

    Marriage cannot just be based on romance, "love", and passion. A true stable marriage must be based on shared values and beliefs. It's not just that he likes soccer and you like rugby; he says God is three and you say God is one. This is an unbridgeable gulf and you are in danger of losing your Islam if you stay with him. You will either marry and abandon Islam, or the stress of this will get to you over time and you will not be able to stay with him if he remains a Christian. Ultimately, there will be only unhappiness in a marriage like this.

    Please, please separate from this man. The best thing you can do for him is to say you will consider marrying him if he honestly converts to Islam, not for your sake, but for the sake of his own soul. Then you go away and don't contact him again. If he honestly seeks out Islam and honestly converts, then a year or more from now, you can revisit the issue of marriage in a halaal way that will be blessed by Allah. But in the meantime, NO CONTACT. You should turn to Allah and repent for having had a forbidden relationship, and dedicate yourself to learning your rights and responsibilities as a Muslim woman so when the time does come for you to marry, you can be a good believing wife for a good believing husband. If this man is not meant for you, then time will make you realize that. If he is, then Allah will bring you and him back together in as two Muslims. You cannot force this issue, only wait for what is to come, but in the meantime, keep yourself busy, work to repair your relationship with your family, and leave that which is displeasing to Allah. Pray the five daily prayers, fast, take care of your family, surround yourself with strong Muslim women who will help you become a better Muslimah. This is the duty that you owe Allah.

    Fi Aman Allah,


  3. I'm a bit confused as to why you would want to marry a Christian if you are a Muslim. A true follower of the Christian faith would know that the word states in 2 Corinthians 6:14: "Do not be unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and lawlessness have in common? What fellowship has light with darkness?"

    If you go into a dark room where does the darkness go? It disappears it must leave. It can only return when the light is removed or the light switch is turned off. Darkness and light cannot occupy the same space. So is the same in the life of someone who belongs to Jesus.

  4. if the man converts to muslim would that still be wrong?

  5. Sofia, if he converts to Islam sincerely then it would be allowable to marry him.

  6. my question is:
    i am christian married and have a christian love also married
    decided to raise our islam and live together after islam marriage
    what is the best way?what possibility need deatisl??
    note:our children are big and mostly married
    our age 50 to 55years

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