Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to get married but I’m scared

wedding ring

Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu brothers and sisters. I am 23 years old now Alhamdulillah I'm very happy with what I am... I am trying my best to strictly follow wat Allah has commanded us to do. Earlier I used to give first preference to my studies and then Salah, but now Alhamdulillah I have changed and now I'm trying best to obey Allah and to abstain myself from everything that's prohibited. I have completed graduation and pursuing professional qualification and Alhamdulillah I'm almost done with it and I have my exams next month.

I have been dreaming about a person who can take me closer to Allah. Keeping this in mind I have been begging from Allah the best person who's religious and well educated both in terms of deen and duniya. From past few days I have started feeling like it's time for me to get married so as to protect myself from getting distracted. I was thinking all these with a belief that a true believer can never point out Allah's creation and one can definitely be happy with his marriage if he follows the life of Prophet S.A.W.

I gotta know about this site and decided put forward my problem as to how to convey my parents that I want to get married?

But after reading posts here I'm totally lost, shattered and very much scared to trust a person. I was thinking that Muslims can never cheat. I wasn't aware that even Muslim married people face these kind of problems. I always thought marriage in Islam is a beautiful relationship and I was excited about it. I'm really  shocked to see how brothers and sisters are suffering, Scared thinking what If I encounter such person........ I have lost hope of getting a person who can guide me in this world so as to reach Jannah.....

I'm in a dilemma I have disconnected myself from everybody. Don't know what to do not able to concentrate on anything..... Please help me brothers and sisters what to do?


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8 Responses »

  1. Sister dont be confused about anything because you read some people are so weak.The scholors say that less then 5%are praying salah on time with concentration and devotion .You are blessed person a person who has balance deen and duniya is on the right page or track ..when i say duniya i mean as regards to your studies or carreer..etc dont believe everything one says this is also the tricky shaitan
    trying to spoil a good apple. I am muslim br. who married a scholor because i was just like you in that i wanted to be better and want my generation also to be better. So my advice be patient and let Allah find your way but you must tell your parents and share your feelings with Allahs help. Inshallah it will workout at the end.


  2. Dear Sister

    Each relation in this world is transient and unpredictable so do not rely or wait for some other guide for your journey to Jannah other than your own consciousness along with teachings of our Last Prophet(PUBH).

    Take Care

  3. Sister these problems you read in this site are 0.00000000001% of Muslim population. May be less than this. If we look into society we will not see these problems.Please Do not look here. Go and enjoy your life. Marriage is blessing. Talk with your mother about marriage. May be they have some suggestions for you.

    • 0.00000000001% of Muslim population really ??????

      miss complicated, yes it is bad out there and divorce rate is 80% in so called muslim couples.
      dont let any one fool you by saying that it will never happen to you.

      Allah has opened your mind and hence you came to this website.

      read what problems people face. read how people are fooled each day by your fellow muslims. dont be fooled by religious looking people or people pretending they are moderate muslims.

      dont be naive. be wise. listen to all the talks on internet about what marriage really means in Islam.

      Sheikh omar suleiman, noman khan , virtual mosque etc.

      the only way to protect yourself is to hold fast to Allah's commandmends.

  4. I can relate to you. I found this website about 8 yeas ago, just like you I was 23 and was utterly shocked to read what Muslims are doing. I couldn't believe that a lot of bad things happen in the Muslim community. I had to take a break from reading the forum to absorb it. I don't even go on facebook, it's petrifying to see Muslims displaying sinful acts to the whole world. Welcome to the reality (being sarcastic). Yes, it's a scary world out there. Please don't let it disappoint you so much or stop you from doing what you want. Be hopeful, hangout with the same-minded people, and make lot's of dua to connect you with a good righteous spouse.

    I have learned so much from this site. It is a blessing. May Allah reward you -Wael for creating it. I learned how to tackle situations in the light of Islam. You feel like your not the only one that feels a certain way. You have many wonderful people (some weird ones) here to give you good life lesson advice.

    • Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu brothers and sisters.... Alhamdulillah I'm done with my exams and waiting for positive results now. Jazakallahu khair for all your suggestions. May Allah bless everyone of us and protect us from evil Ameen. Inshaa Allah I'll take it in a positive way and act accordingly. I was looking for a spouse who's well balanced in terms of Deen and Duniya just because I want to get closer to Allah even more by serving him the way that pleases Allah and more over I have been dreaming to offer tahajjud with my spouse. No doubt Allah is closest to us and when we offer Salah we have direct contact with Allah. Sometimes I wonder am I expecting too much and is thr anyone waitin for me ??? Now a days people look only for beauty, for me Alhamdulillah I'm beautiful because has created me, only those people love me who knows me well but in so called Duniya people run behind beauty which I'm not for them, people will definitely reject me if they go only for beauty, two days back I begging from Allah and was crying thinking why people in this world are so wicked and why am I part of this world.... Why Don they understand that beauty will fade as time passes, only thing that will remain till the end is ur inner beauty and Akhlaq. When a guy comes to see a girl for proposal they treat her jus like a show piece it is just disgusting, they Don look for Deen. I haven't spoken to my parents yet. What am I suppose to do as of now to get a right spouse? Offer istikhara or something else?

  5. I might be able to help you.

    Someone typically of your choice is looking for a girl just like you.

    However, know this. That man is not balanced in terms of deen and dunya.

    He has a pure heart, one that finds it difficult to understand the people of this world and usually suffers as a result. He is full of your "deen" criteria but possibly nil on your "Dunya" criteria.

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