Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to get married soon

Hijab lady

As salamu alikum

Mine is small family mom dad and we three sisters, I am the second one.

This Aug I will turn 22.

My question is I wanna get married soon just not to indulge myself in any haram thing. I have bachelors degree in computer science and throughout my graduation I never removed my hijab not even my face cover my dignity is my life ..

My all female friends were in relations, few got engaged and few broked up and al-humdulillah I kept myself save from every kind of haram thing/haram relation but sometimes I used to feel like I wish even I have someone 😛 but I have control over my thoughts al-humdulillah   ...

I got many proposals from my college mate but al-humdulillah never gave chance to any one. My elder sister got engaged but we delayed her marriage because the guy she got engaged with lost his job and now he is hunting for job. I dunno how much time it will take and I can't wait any more, not because I am keen about marriage, it's just that I wanna save myself from haram and I know haram things don't have halaal ending and also I feel so empty feels like I need someone ... someone to whom I can talk, someone whom I can love, who deserves me and my time ...

I am praying hard. I know Allah knows exactly how I feel and what are my thoughts and intentions ... and then I decided to express this all to my mother ..

With lots of guts I talked to my mother about this and explained her the reasons. But she scolded me and said that it's not my age to think all this and our financial condition is not well. She said we need money for everything and the city I belong to they take lots of dowry. But I want NIKAH that is purely on the bases of sunnah  🙁 I dunno what to do ...

Please give me some advice. I know what is written for me is going to come at right time but we need to take some steps, we can't sit like that and wait.


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5 Responses »

  1. Salaam Harmaeen,

    I hope you get this message before you get married tonight. Sister, pose and think.
    You just finished school
    you are young
    You have a good faith
    you are beautiful
    FInd a job first.. better yourself and in 2 or 3 years, when the right one comes aboard, it will click very easily. I know you are 22 and you want to get married.etc..
    You are a little curious and you want to know, discover, feel love, romance.. and all the diaz... I tell you.. you will never forget this email and down the road, you will thank me.

    Be more mature... love is sweet and great but it can be devastating.... that why I believe you should wait and follow my recipe below.

    1. Find a job
    2. Work,
    3. save money
    4. Get married
    5. Wait and study the "husband"
    6. wait again.. and study him again. while saving your money
    7 Have a baby
    Think about this" Curiosity kill the cat... don't be that cat!

    When you finally get married, love, share but be smart...


  2. Nice Amssa, this is the truth about life. One thing I want to say in our time we never could think of relationship and even marriage, rather parents pressurised us for study only , we were not allowed to gossip for a long time with the married women who were our relatives , time has changed and men and women have become more self conscious, they have developed more power than parents to think about their own marriage, it has a positive impact . I wish all the best for Harmaeen

  3. AoA,

    According to Islam she is late but its really good she is thinking about nikkah not involved in any kind of harram thing.but Amssa i am not agree with your thought she is young, educated & beauty full its not mean she needs to do job. she needs nikah with a good caring person. Job is not her need at this time. maybe not mature for job but mature for as a good wife.

    Sorry for my poor English but hope you got my point!


  4. Salam sister>>!
    I appricate Ur thoughts and U really need to get married, and marry early, Even still U are late,
    It's not your fault that U are single, It's fault of male in your srrounding that they not picking U..!
    why they not picking U is because the criteria set for marriage is too much..!
    So I don't see any proper guide to this, but will suggest U to pray to Allah so U may find ur mate soon..!

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