I want to get married
I want to get married. For marriage I make boyfriend in thought that one day they will marry me but when they ask to their family so they don't want me. My parents died almost 3 years ago now.
So now a days I'm in a new relation with a man. I love him, he also said that he love me and want me forever in his life but I'm so confused that he have no time for chat or meet. But he said he love me. We chat like good morning good evening n good night.
Please help me out. What should I do? I'm alone n want to get married to start my real life.
wardoo
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AsSalaam 'alaikum Sister,
First of all I pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala blesses you with a wonderful pious husband soon. As I pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala have mercy on your parents and grant them Jannah. Ameen!
Sister, I would like to advise you to reconsider your purpose of getting married. Do not just marry any man, without considering his deen and character. According to the teachings of Islam you need to consider both the man's deen and character altogether before marrying him, so that you could be happy and protected during the marital life with him, inshaAllah.
And also, you may want to learn that it is not permissible in Islam to be in a pre-marriage relationship. This is all for your own heart's safety and protection.
And please know that true good Muslim brothers are not found in pre-marriage relationships. The men you see in such relationships do not respect your dignity as a precious Muslim woman. They only want to deceive you and then finally give you stories that they cannot marry you because of their family. All that is nonsense. Why should they waste your time if they knew they can't stand and defend or fight for your right?!
For the meantime, I'd advise you to quit the relationship with this man and focus on educating yourself with Islamic knowledge and strengthening your relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Repent sincerely for any transgressions that may have occurred in your life, and then ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for His Mercy and Guidance.
And then whenever you feel that you are ready for marriage, speak to a local Imam at your nearest masjid to constantly announce in the masjid regarding your interest in getting married. Perhaps, the special man that Allah Has for you may be of those brothers who come to pray at the masjid, inshaAllah.
Remember Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says in the Holy Quran:
Hope this helps, and Allah the Most-Merciful knows best.
Dear Sister
It appears that you are a free roaming girl dating anyone likeable in an open and friendly environment. We can only recommend that you ask any of your guardian like uncle, an elder brother, sister or cousin to arrange a spouse for you. This is the safest way. If you wish to follow an islamic way of finding a partner in an open environment then "Lower your gaze" as it is recommended by Quran and search for someone who lowers his gaze too.
Assalamwalikum wa rehmatullahe wa barkatahu.....
Good advice....
I feel this above advice will help u alot sister...
If u wanna get marry .... ask Allah. He will sure do it for he as 70 mothers love for us.
He will surely do wats right.
And dear sister plz have patience.
Allah is just taking a small exam by ur loneliness.
Bt dnt forget , he loves us alot. He as someone speacial for u , who deserves u.
Dnt search love, love itself will come to u
.
Love will not just arrive at your doorstep. It doesn't happen that way. Dua and poof! Husband arrives on your doorstep.
The problem is that this girl does not have a family to help her. Her parents are dead. She does not mention an elder brother so we have to assume she does not have one, or, he is busy with his own wife and children. Why does everyone assume that muslim girls have older brothers?
Anyway, I'm not suggesting that she keep extending herself to strange men, I just wanted to mention that just sitting at home making Dua is not going to make a husband magically appear out of nowhere. That is not practical advice to give to a girl who is alone in the world.
@Precious Star I disagree dua is granted from Allah people have to ask Allah and is granted. The thing is with dua it doesn't happen overnight it takes time and maybe years. The whole point of being muslim is to make DUA for yourself and others around you. I strongly believe if you sincerely ask god it happens and its also a test from god to all humans to come to god no matter what situation and never forget god.
People can keep praying and hope inshAllah for the best.
We make du'a but we do not naively think that this replaces our efforts. As I said recently in another post, if I wanted a glass of water and I just sit on the sofa making du'a that it will appear, this is very naive.
Finding a spouse ONLY through du'a is similar praying for anything without effort.
If a woman has no one, literally no one, hopefully she could reach out to the community--be practical along with being hopeful...these two things must stride together for success to happen.
@saba well its not naive for me to think that way and I know if i was to ask for glass of water this would not logically appear to me in reality. I never said I believed in magic.
As far as marriage goes for OP it is best for her to ask family involvement or family member for assistance. I would recommend you do your research before accepting the proposal.
I strongly recommend you CUT ALL CONTACT WITH MEN. Leave it in hands of Allah because men will use some women and I think its important you have respect for yourself and if you carry on like this you will regret it.
The problem is, it sounds like she does not have family.