Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to leave my Muslim boyfriend but I can’t…

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Asalam-o-alaikum, I am a muslim girl who has been in a relationship with a boy for almost 5 years and not a day goes by when I don't feel guilty about it. We are very close and my parents know that we are friends but obviously they are unaware of our relationship. We truly love each other and plan to marry as soon as our education is finished. And considering our families, there would most probably be no issue from our parents' side and they would allow us to get married when the time comes.

But at the moment, I always feel guilty and cry and feel like im doing something completely wrong. I have tried to leave him but i can never gather up enough courage to do that. And also I don't want to marry someone else because that thought makes me feel 'unpure'. I have only ever opened up to this boy and I never want to open up to another.

Is it wrong to stay with this boy even though there is a huge chance that we can get married with both our parents consent? And even though marrying someone else would be unfair to that person? Would Allah be angry with me? Will my sins not be forgiven? Please answer me as I have been in this dilemma for too long now and it is eating me from inside. Waiting for your response.


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5 Responses »

  1. Assalam-o-alaikum sister
    as I am too in thia situation and I can understand ur feelings.. but what comes in my mind is that.. are u sure that u can live for tomorrow? ? may be you can die tomorrow than what? dont think about that upcoming husband think about today that if in this state u will die what amaal do u present to Allah... put your trust in Allah and if ur intentions are pure Allah will make an easy and respectable way for u In Sha Allah..

  2. So why dont you and him involve your parents and step aside. Discontinue communication with each other and let the parents do the talking and decide a marriage date?

  3. I understand how you feel. BUT you should get married better to do things right than continue the sin. Things are much harder if you continue and i dont think you should leave if you love him too. You should talk to him and tell him how you feel make a decision and involve both families. No parents deserves their kids doing haraam behind closed doors either.

  4. Assalamu alaykum
    you said both your parents don't have a problem if you both get married in the future. Why wait? Why don't you just get married now??? You both could do your nikkah and islamically you would be married to each other. You dont have to move together and can continue with your studies until you both are finished with university. You still can have a wedding party later. Thats what me and my hubby did as i wanted to finish uni first. we both lived in two different countries. We did our nikkah and i stayed in germany for few years so i could finish university. i think you should talk to your families about it. If yoy want to get married to him anyway , why wait?? otherwise stop all the communication as it's haaram and you have no gutguarantee that you will matry him in the future.

  5. Assalam o Allikum

    I m also in same situation but we both are too young whai i should do ? Please guide me

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