Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to marry a girl who is Islamic scholar


Dear Muslim brother and sisters Assala mualaikom,

I am from Bangladesh currently living in Saudi Arabia.

I am general educated. I am not a Islamic scholar and not study at madrasha, but I want to marry a girl who is Islamic scholar.

Problem is I am rejected by Girl's Parents, reason I am not a scholar and not studied at Madrasha.

My parents are tired looking for girl as I like, they are forcing me now marry general educated girl, but I am absolutely not interested about general educated girls.

Coz I want someone who guide me, learn me more about islam and Quran, inspire to me more about akheerat, who is love me for Allah subahanaho wa taala , and leave me for Allah subahanaho wa taala.

I am not looking for her beauty or her money, I am ready for pay Dowry (mohor), I just looking she would be good character and fulfill with Islamic knowledge, but I think I going to fail.

I request to all scholar please give me advice what I can do in this situation.

Please pray for me All Brother and Sister , jazakallah khair.


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6 Responses »

  1. Dear Mubarak brother,

    None of us are scholars here. We are Muslim from all walks of life, where some of us has more and some less Islamic knowledge and practises than the others, but we are all here to help (advice) where we could, in Shaa Allah.

    Unfortunately, there's not much you could do if the wali of the girl is saying no to your proposal, unless if this respected sister also wants to marry you then maybe there's a chance, otherwise move on if they have turned down your proposal several times.

    Though you could wait and continue proposing to her till she is not engaged with someone else. This wait could mean one year, two years or perhaps even five years. You decide.

    And In Shaa Allah you won't fail if you marry an educated Muslim girl who is not a scholar but is very much sincere and humble towards her faith in Islam. Allah swt sees our sincerity and humbleness over how we actually appear to people's eyes.

    Also you could start to become more practising Muslim brother yourself instead of waiting or hoping someone else will make you better Muslim. Start this journey of Islam on your own. And when you find someone compatible to yourself then propose and see how it goes, in Shaa Allah.

    Either way pray to Allah swt to bless you righteous wife along with righteous off-springs.

    May Allah swt grants you a wife who would be coolness to your eyes, ameen.

    Best wishes,

    - Me

  2. England have many institutions and are sunni .I myself married one.But eventhough brother if you cant find one .Atleast marry a person who prays 5 times a day is punctual in effort aswell as the family involved in tabligh.See you can have alot of ilm but no practice its important they are involved in tabligh because this will have family participate in ammals such as taleem mashurrah and most of consistantly with collectiveness.

  3. Assalaamualaikam

    By saying "absolutely not" to the idea of marrying someone who isn't an Islamic scholar, you might be limiting your options and risking missing out on potentially good matches. It's good to have an idea of what qualities are important to you, but make sure you keep an open mind. A lot of people who have a general education may have done some Islamic study through evening or weekend classes - a general education doesn't mean someone is ignorant of Islam, and they might well have hopes of learning more about Islam in the future, inshaAllah. You could also learn more about Islam together, after marriage.

    As well as thinking about what you want in a spouse, it's important to think about what they might want from you, and whether you would be able to meet their expectations. For example, a woman who's spent many years studying Islam might want her husband to have a similar level of knowledge of the deen, or a woman with a strong interest in a particular field might want her husband to share that interest. Look at yourself honestly and think about whether you would be likely to meet the expectations of someone who you would want to marry. If you identify something that might be an obstacle to this, think about whether this is something you could change; and if not, maybe that's an indicator that your criteria might be too stringent?

    For example, you mention that a girl's wali declined a proposal because you weren't a scholar - so, you could take from that experience, that a wali of an Islamic scholar might expect a potential husband to have more experience in Islamic studies. While you can't magically give yourself this, you can take steps to build on your existing knowledge. Why not look into attending an evening class? Or even taking some time out from studies or work in order to study the Islamic sciences? And maybe, you could think about whether you would be willing to make such compromises in your own criteria - when it comes to compromises, it's generally a good idea not to ask others to accept what you wouldn't be willing to accept.

    Midnightmoon editor

  4. Mashallah bro

    its nice to hear of a brother, who doesn't chase after beauty or Ahle nightclub.....

    but bro you can't really do anything, if you have been refused by her parents..... except move on, insisting is displaced... to be honest i don't think they are rejecting your on the basis of you not being a scholar, i might be wrong but i think its probable that it is because she is Saudi and you are not ....... I know Arabs do not like marrying their daughters to non Arabs especially the Saudi's.....

    how many Muslimahs are scholars? very very few, and so you are limiting yourself to 0.00000000000 percent of the population of Muslim women, also some the best women of all time were not Islamic scholars, yet were worthy enough before allah to be promised Jennah....its seems brother you making your life hard unnecessary

    Also bro why are you waiting for a women to educate you? you in the best place in the world to get a good islamic education?

    i hope you get a pious girl inshallah

  5. Assalam alaikum, we are born alone and we die alone. Only we can make ourselves steady fast and strong in our Iman. No one will make that for us, never in million years. It is deceitful thoughts to wait or look for a partner who would make us steady fast in our connection to Allah, it is up most a big Lie which will never be fulfilled. We will get exactly a partner which we deserve by Allah, we need to be accepting and thankful, Allah knows best. Put your trust in Allah. What is blessed by Allah will happen by ease. Woman can study Islam and read Quran daily without being a scholar in University, do not label what is unseen to you. Only Allah is all seeing and only the Beneficient knows what is best for you, not at terms what You think is best for you, but what Allah knows what is best for development of your Iman and strengthening your connection to him. And it not might be pleasant at all, because only God knows what you need and what you don't. All you need to do is be accepting, patient, put all of your trust to whatever is happening in your life, without you fully understanding. Just trust Allah and go through whatever is happening in your life with Love and thankfulness to Allah. This life is a Test, don't forget. No test happens by your wishes and rules, it wouldn't be a test. After passing it well, we get our reward and it will be Jannah, where we will have our rest. May Allah guide you. Alhamdulellah

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