I want to marry a Muslim Man but my Mother has been brainwashed to be anti- Muslim …
I realize this may be a sensitive subject.. I am in love with a Muslim man and I want to marry him but I am afraid what my mother is going to say. She is sadly ignorant because our media portrays "Muslim" in such a way that creates fear. I don't think she will listen to me explain the culture, I don't know. I am open to the culture and love that he practices a religion that brings him closer to God. Has anyone else ever been here who can advise?
Anonymousone2
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I know of someone that this happened to. The parents thought the guy was a wolf in sheep's clothing, disagreed with the marriage and were really unhappy it was happening.
After marriage though, they felt the guy was a sheep in sheep's clothing and tried to get their daughter to be less of a wolf. They've been generally very happy with the marriage. Although I think they now think that guy is an exception to the Muslims and still hold their view.
So it depends, it's possible for you to get married and have her come around but it depends on the guy. If the guy isn't great and you're just in the honeymoon phase she will say I told you so. If he is really good then she may make an exception and be happy with it.
I am also new old muslim...my parents and family said the same thing...but that all changed..Allah works in mysterious ways.You must know Islam has its sects but there can only be one right way and it must be easy to understand and pure....If he is a Sunni muslim that follows one of the 4 major thoughts then you hit gold.Otherthen this it is an open target for the Devil. Also for his marriages to be valid you must also except Islam ...he cannot marry unless you have excepted the faith from your heart...
I say this with truth and to the point because my wife is a Sunni scholor
I find most if not all Muslim guys bad. They are not good for their wives so be careful
Please advice if anyone can guide on this matter cause I am also in the same situation.
Firstly your mother is the least of your worries. Have you met your partners parents or family??
Because if they don't accept you there's a good chance he will leave you.
I was in this position a Catholic girl in love with a Muslim. He was raised in London so he wasn't exactly practicing. I had met his brother and sister who were ok with me. He assured me that he was allowed to marry me which he is in Islam and that he would fight for us to be together whatever it took. Come down to the actual deal he flaked and run away. His family wanted him to marry a real muslim woman. He asked me to convert and even when i said yes it still wasn't enough and he gave up on me...on us. In fact he left me pregnant and still saw no reason to fight for us.
However not to say this will happen to you...everyone is different. My family too were skeptical about Muslim's and were not too pleased when I told them I was dating one. Regardless they invited him over for dinner to give him a chance and they actually did like him as he was polite, educated but most importantly they saw how happy he made me and how already in love I was. He would come to all family events and they all welcomed him. He treated me better than any guy I had dated and I believed he was the one.
My mother and cousin however were always worried yes because of their strong religion and because they knew how judgmental, strict and prejudice his family would be with me. He assured him that he doesn't allow his mother to pick his clothes so she wouldn't pick his wife. He told them to not to worry that his mother is she loved him would accept me. So my family just let us be. And I trusted his word. Your family only worry for you but when they see you together and happy they will come to terms with him. My dad had always said to me bring any kind of guy...any color I dont care as long as he is not Muslim simply because f the way they are raised. To be the head of the house, to always have to follow HIS rules, to dress a certain way. But when I was in a relationship with this guy my dad accepted him with open arms only hoping for the best. Sadly they were right about him.
My advice is...love makes you blind. If you are truly serious with him and have been with him a long time then tell your mother and say look I've never been so happy if you haven't noticed... I love him. It would mean the world if you give him a chance and just meet him. Let her see you two happy together. Let her talk her fears with him and see if his response is sincere. She will come around. Is your family religious? Thing is we tend to be open minded where as Muslim are not and only follow the Islamic teachings which is why I worry about his parents rather accepting you.
I hope this helps. Wish you all the best!