I am in love with a Muslimah and want to marry her.
Asalaamualaykum,
I am in love with a muslimah and she loves me, we are living in different countries, but try to visit each other when we can. I feel we cannot marry as both of us are full time students in our respective countries (england and spain) and don't have the needs to support ourselves.
Please could you give me advice because I would like to make her my wife inshallah.
~ Abdullah77
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Brother,
First and foremost you are not allowed to email/ chat to each other without involvment of her wali so let alone seeing each other alone. Second, you both need to involve your parents, esply hers. Third, if her and your respected parents agree then one of you may have to sacrifice their fulltime education in order to live together under the same roof as husband and wife after nikah. And you as a husband must be capable to support your wife's needs financially unless if she can voluntarly willing to support the marriage life for a little while-- sometimes just love is not enough if you are unable to feed, cloth and shelter one extra head, i.e wife in your life.
If you and/or she cannot involve your parents, then you both must stop contacting each other. I am sorry but boyfriend/girlfriend/pre-martial relationship is not allowed in Islam- it is forbiden. Please stop wasting each others precious feelings and time over the net. Be a man to propose or be a man to break this relationship if she is not ready to involve her parents.
Best wishes,
Sister Parveen.
Brother, you need to slow down and think about your disrespectfull actions.
Do you know that you are not allowed to talk or approach a girl without first approaching her father, and second, talking to her infront of her father.
You are disrespecting the father of this girl, even if he is negligent towards his daughter, any father with honour would boil with anger if he found out someone was talking to his daughter.
So fear A l l a a h and stop what you are doing, go to the father first, and ask him to marryn you to his daughter, if the answer is negitive, then you leave with your head held high, you have nothing to loose.
hey Ab;
Id suggest that you read the Quran, apply it to your situation and not worry about what anybody else things. No one has the right to judge you but God.
Hope it works out for ya!!
Salam alaykom,
We are both from western cultures, maybe this isn't an excuse, but we speak and met as friends, I don't see how this is disrespecting her father. I don't know her father, I've never met him, and I met her during a work period in spain. Its abit impossible for me to contact her father who doesn't even speak any language the same as me.
I will see her in a few weeks and I am planning to propose inshallah, is this wrong? Should I try to contact her father first even though we don't speak the same language? :s
Please help.
Abdulllah
Salamu'alaikum,
Apart from the above, regarding your actual question, you should go to the father and speak to him about it. He would at least know English, right? Otherwise you can have a translator to translate between you both.
Beware, do not let the relation cross its boundaries. You could commit a major sin, if you do not relize that Shaitan is the third when a man and a woman are tothether. Remain on deen and upon the Sunnah of the final Messenger Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wasallam and insha Allah, you'll have the issue resloved.
May Allah have Mercy on you and me
Aameen
Wassalamu'alaikum
Muhammad Waseem Saifullah
Salam alaykom.
No, her father does not speak english. Just spanish and arabic.
But we will never be alone together, that is no problem.
Thanks for your responses though, they have given me a lot to think about.
Abdullah
Asalaam alaikum,
Spanish is the closest language to English, and Google Translate does a pretty decent job of translating, though not perfect. So emailing the father should not be so difficult if you decide to use it, though couldn't the young woman act as a translator for you when you visit the father? Do not be scared young man. Approach the proposal correctly and humbly, so that Allah (swt) will guide you.
I'm not sure where they live in Spain, but Madrid and Barcelona have plenty of opportunities for you to study there as their universities should have student exchange programs. However, seeing as you two are not so far apart, there shouldn't be too much of a problem in creating a living situation in either country. Then is it possible that your family could help with the initial living expenses of you two, at least until you are able to find a suitable job? Living modestly would also be at the forefront of your intentions.
Speak to your parents first, listen to their honest assessment of you and your needs, where this proposal could possibly go and what married life would be like. If your father is not present, speak to another older, married male relative or find a local alim to guide you. Insha'allah, you will start to use the resources that you have to get the proper process and mindset underway.