Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to marry a non-Arab

Islam strictly prohibits Racism on any basis

I'm an arab muslim girl, and i'm 19 years old. I've never dated...had a boyfriend...until I met someone.

He became my best friend(he's 20), and in my mind although it may sound stupid to most I honestly believed he'll be my future husband inshallah. He wants that as well, and we don't really refer to ourselves as boyfriend/girlfriend as we don't like the term but more like a future spouse.

The problem is that he's from another country, he isn't arab. I'm scared my family will reject him, and don't get me wrong my family are really humble people and they don't think they are better than anyone else but I know that they would prefer it if I also was with someone arab because of cultural differences.. preferably from the same country i'm from.

He isn't european/white, but basically his culture is very different from ours. I have all my hopes on him, I haven't looked at any other guy since I was a child despite temptations from my friends to go hang out with guys and whatnot. I don't know what to do. Although he does want to propose in a few years (he wants to be stable financially w/a job ect. when he asks my father for my hand) and if inshallah we are still with one another I don't know how to convince my family to agree with it.

Do you think I should give up on the idea entirely? I don't want to... I love him, he's a good man and a good muslim MashAllah. The only reason I know this is a problem is i've heard my father talk about the right man...and the right man apparently has to be an arab....please help.

Thank you.


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6 Responses »

  1. Please sister pray much and IN SHALLAH ALLAH will help you please do not dating with him not do any wrong things and not take pictures together just pray.

  2. You said they would prefer him to be Arab. If that is the case its not a must. All I say is,ask your parents now not worry about later. Whatever their reaction will be only then one can give valuable advice although it may not change anything.

  3. Assalaamualaykum Sister,

    In addition to the great advice above, you can pray the Salat Al-Istikhara for your situation, for which you can find information in the blue tab entitled "Istikhara Questions and Answers" at the top of this page. In the dua at the end of the prayer, you ask Allah to ease whatever is best for you. If marrying this brother is indeed in the best interest of your life and akhira, Allah will make it possible and easy for you, removing any cultural or racial obstacles in your path.

    May Allah bless you,



  4. Salam dear sister, here's what I've done. I've run over the basics with my family and Alhamdulillah they seem cool about It. You should talk to your parents about your preferences and try to gauge their response. If they're on board then you're all set but if not then you have to try and sway them. Mention about how the spouse Muslim and firm on the deen is the most important thing in marriage regardless of where hes from.
    Inshallah all will go well, I'll remembers you in my duas.
    Remember if it is meant to be then it will happen 😀
    Take care,
    And good luck!

  5. As salaamu alaikum

    II was planning to get marries to a girl. We fell into fitna in the process and fell into zina. We were both virgins.

    We repented and decided to try to get married.

    Sombody else has now proposed to me and im thinking of marrying her instead because i think we would work better. The girl i commited zina with lovws me and would be heartbroken. What should i do

    Am i wrong. Do i owe the first girl marraige. Do i destroy her life. What do i do

    • Jakir, this is a decision only you can make. Pray istikhara and do what you think is best.

      If you need further advice, please register and submit your question as a separate post.

      Wael Editor

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