Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to marry her. Should I approach her parents in this situation?


Marriage Proposal

We don't know each other.. But when we met for the very first time, she said that she is engaged so I was shocked and looked at her. She laughed but let me tell you how she behaves when we are around each other. She looks at me but when I suddenly look at her and smile then she quickly takes her head down and smiles too and she can't stop smiling until I am around her. She attempts to make believe that she was not looking at me and that's exactly how our eye contact ends every time. I just wanna know the reason. Why girls do that? She acts like that she wasn't even looking at me.

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7 Responses »

  1. Assalam alaikum,

    There isn't enough here to advise you. It is possible that you are reading more into the eye contact between the both of you.

    If you truly feel strongly about her, you could always tell your parents and they could approach her parents for a proposal--if she is committed to be married to someone else, you'll find out.

  2. AOA

    OP ! Why girls do that?

    This is hide and seek behavior. By telling you she is engaged she showed her unavailability but then continued flirting with you thru stares and smilies thus expressing her availability.
    Attention seeking inappropriate and immature behavior.

    It can easily fall under zina of eyes on both sides so if you are serious for her then ignore her immature attitude and propose thru parents as Sr Saba suggested above, instead of feeding into this girl,s weird attitude via switching stares.

  3. OP: But when we met for the very first time, she said that she is engaged so I was shocked and looked at her.

    You just met some girl and you want to know if she is available without giving her a chance to know any thing about you?

    If she told you she is engaged why you look at her and smile.

    If she knows you enough by now, ask her again when she is planning to get married to give her another chance in case she joked the first time.

  4. Waseem ,

    Stop this Foolish Act and forget her .

  5. Salaam, my name is haleema, I have a friend who wants to get married to this person who she likes and has known for over 4 years now, they both love eachother and want to get married they guys family is ok with it all however the girls family don't know about this as she is afraid to tell them as she don't want to hurt them, her family like this other guy and want her to marry him. But she doesn't want to, they have both done a ishtikara (seeking guidance from Allah swt) and all has come out well, but it's not getting them nowhere the guy wants to get married and settle down and so does my friend but she knows her family will say no as he's not from her cast, she doesn't want to leave her family or that guy, what is the best thing advisable here for her to do, she can run off and do nikkah but she wants her parents blessings, please can you help us by giving us the best advice possible that can help another sister and many others that are going through a similar situation, jzk khair may Allah reward you

    • haleema, she cannot run off and do nikah as it would not be valid without her wali. The young man's family must go to her family and make a proposal. She can make her wishes known strongly and insist. Who knows, they may agree.

      Wael Editor

  6. Wael, I know she will need wali but I have heard in many circumstances if a wali don't come you will need certain amount of witnesses from your side in order for the nikkah to happen, as for her family she's tried to tell them several time but has been unable to as she knows they will say no due to him not being from the cast, she's now stuck between family respect and values, and love, is there any other way

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