Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to renew my faith in Allah

Allah Tests who He Loves

Asalaam every one

I am a prayerful person or at least I was up until recently when I feel that my prayers are not helping in my situations to an extent I have lost hope in almost everything. This is so because I used to pray to Allah for His guidance and decision making prior to execution but it turns out that every decision I made failed terribly and became nightmare. I have been around Muslim friends but from my observations they don't take prayers seriously or same never pray at all but their life seems so cheerful and smooth compared to mine with untold difficulties.

I do love Allah a lot with all my heart but I always wonder why my prayers aren't answered, why is it that I am always the one that loses out every time yet I pray to Him for guidance?

I had even decided to give up on prayers because I felt like a waste, I really do not feel how I used to feel while praying, I had even began doing evil things because to me it wasn't making any difference either way because my life stayed the same. Or my conditions remain the same

But there is something in me that really misses Allah or faith because I really feel like I need Him in my life despite all that. What can I do, please advise me - how can I renew my faith?

Issah Abubakari

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6 Responses »

  1. Wa 'alaikum as-salaam warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh dear brother Issah.

    I could sympathize with you a bit, however, I didn't give up nor turn away from my Beloved (Allah) till He opened my heart (out of His unconditional Mercy and Love) to grasp some of His wisdom behind my affairs. Some times He deprived me of the things I requested for, but granted me better things that I never could have dreamed of requesting. Also, He made me fall and fail sometimes in life, but I still relied on Him. I found really great lessons and guidance for correcting mistakes and improving. I could go on and on, but in short, I ended up being certain that all His decrees for us (even if they seem like the worst thing ever), are in actuality good and better for us.

    Below are some few sincere advice for you:

    1. Sincerely open your insight, and start counting Allah's countless blessings and flavors for you--and ponder on His wisdom behind your hardships.

    2. Study your failures and keep on correcting your mistakes and trying again.

    3. Remember that, undoubtedly, those who decide to be on the straight path, shall be tested through their faith and affairs, therefore, you need to be strong and rely on Allah--this is the basic principle, with no doubt.

    4. Do not compare yourself to others who are lost already, and be aware that, each increase in their enjoyment, without practicing the deen, is in reality an increase in deviation and sorrow for them (may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala guide them. Ameen!).

    5. Keep on praying and asking Allah's help, mercy, and guidance with sincere hope, and be satisfied with anything that He may Have for you.

    May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala help you and us all. Ameen!

    Hope this helps inshaAllah, and Allah Ta'ala knows best.

  2. I just wanted to add that us worshiping Allah should NEVER be contingent on whether our prayers are answered or not. Sometimes we unconsciously think of our creator with the concept of a genie almost; the idea that we should turn to Allah to grant our wishes and when that doesn't happen... We get mad.

    It helps to first and foremost come to terms with the fact that we're here to worship Allah, in fact we're not entitled to anything. We're obligated to treat our parents with respect no matter what they do, right? So what about our creator. Also I'm sure we've all had friends or known people who only come around whenTHEY need something, which doesn't make us feel good and we try to keep them at bay right? So why do we turn around and do that to our creator!

    So when you pray try to do it with the intention that you're trying to get closer to Allah, ask for what you want but never make your love and sincerity dependent on if your goals come true or not.

  3. Wa alaikum Assalam Brother,

    It seems that you were praying in order to help your situation--as if to suggest that the prayer to Allah swt was contingent upon you receiving what you believe you want/need--whereas praying to Allah swt for what we want/need may not necessarily derive the desired result in this dunya. If you knew that your prayer was rejected temporarily and instead, you will receive a reward beyond your imagination in the hereafter, would that change how you think? Furthermore, your observations of Muslims or other people around you suggests that you have the ability to judge your surroundings in a way that only the Creator can do, so here are my suggestions that I am sharing because they help me when start feeling down if things are "not going my way":

    1) A good, cheeful and smooth life are not indicative of blessings, nor is a life of untold difficulties a sign of a life with no blessings. Difficulties are a test from Allah swt, but ease is ALSO a test from Allah swt. What if the person who experiences much ease in this life FORGETS and LEAVES Allah swt because of their cheerful life? To the onlooker, with limited view, this person may have it all, but in fact, their Aakhirah may be in jeopardy if they have forgotten Allah swt. In this way, the ease has become a hidden punishment; whereas the person who is in difficulty again and again, may, as a result of the challenges in their life, always turn to Allah swt again and again because of their pain. So, please do not judge the test from Allah swt.

    2) You love Allah swt, so do so unconditionally. Allah swt created you, me, all of us out of nothing. There was a time when we didn't exist, when we weren't even memories, when even the cells and atoms that we are comprised of, were not even in existence--Yet, HE, created us. He loves us in a way that is not within our understanding. He works in a way that is beyond our comprehension--we do not know how He will Judge and we cannot claim to understand Him based on our limited understanding of this world. If your prayers are not answered, they are merely unanswered for *now*. You must not be impatient. You must not consider your "losses" are mere losses, but rather gains in disguise. Each and ever thought of yours is Heard by Him, do you think He does not hear you? Allah swt granted the du'a of shaitaan, do you think that your du'a will go unanswered? Even shaitaan knew that if he asked Allah swt until the Day of Judgement to misguide us, that Allah swt may grant him that wish--so imagine, if shaitaan knew this, how can we as Muslims, who do not want to transgress against Allah swt's will, be less hopeful of our du'as made to Allah swt than shaitaan?

    3) Please read this:

    “I do not worry about an answer to my supplication, rather I worry about making supplication! I know that if I am inspired [by Allah] to supplicate, then the answer will come with it.”
    - Umar AlKhattab رضي الله عنه.

    4) If you have started doing evil things because you think nothing makes a difference, it is because you feel that the dunya is going to go on forever. The result of this world will come--Aakhirah will come, it is only us humans that are impatient. Brother, I suggest and urge you to stop. Inn shaa Allah, you can--you obviously had a guilty mind as you wrote here and hopefully that will overpower the other whispers in your heart from shaitaan.

    May Allah swt guide you, as guidance is from Allah swt alone. May you find peace and tranquility in the remembrance of Allah swt, even if you do not see the wisdom in it immediately. May Allah swt guide me, you and all of us and grant us patience when we lack wisdom and wisdom when we lack patience, Ameen, thummah Ameen.

  4. Never loose hope in Allah my Brother. He loves us ALL, his hand bears our soul and He allows our heart to beat until the second we die.
    We are ALL tested, by the best teacher of all, Allah.
    Be patient and never loose hope, what you don't get in this life, you will get in the Hereafter. In Sha Allah.
    Also your heart misses Allah, because we need him, he doesn't need us. Al Khaliq. Our Glorious Creator. Be patient and Believe in his love for you.

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