Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I went to a party and someone blackmailed me

blackmail

Salam alaykum,

I'm 19 years old from Morocco and studying in Germany. I was in a party for students only (or that's what I thought). I didn't take off my Hijab but I did something bad......I regret it now.... I danced with a guy-friend of mine and my girlfriends. At that time I didn't think a lot about it because he's a very good friend and he's a lot younger than me. I know I shouldn't have done that and I really regret it a lot. I normally never dance that way ...........but now it's too late and I won't do it again.

But then a guy came and asked me from which country I come from and I didn't answer and said that I can't speak very much Arabic (not a complete lie btw) ......but then somehow he knew where I came from. He started telling me how I give such a horrible idea about my religion - that I cherish more than my life - and he was using horrible fool language and he started screaming it very loudly. I was tired and I had problems walking (because I was wearing heels and I slipped and hurt my foot before so that guy-friend helped me all night so that it won't happen again). Then he followed me and my friends and I told him how I didn't drink, didn't smoke and I only danced with someone I consider a younger brother. Then he said "you'll see" and he said the name of an organization in some Islamic countries that are in war.

Before you start judging me know that I get how I shouldn't have went to that party. I know that no one wearing a Hijab should go there and dance the way I did. I kind of understand how he felt "like how he thinks no one should put their 'dirty' hands on me"  .......but we all make mistakes .....before you point your judging finger at me know I regret what I did a lot and no one never never made mistakes ...

But I'm scared a lot and I couldn't sleep, I'm overly stressed out and I'm scared I will do something I will regret more greatly.

HELP

soum


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6 Responses »

  1. SalamAlikum sister,

    By reading your post, I think you are already regretted for what you did and I trust that you won't do it again. (I believe that you have repentant to Allah) I don't understand who this man is, is he related to you? And how on earth he has the authority to speak to you like this. He can advise you as a brother but he has no right to threaten you. What do you think he will do to you? If he appears and says something nasty, just tell him firmly that you'll take care of your business and it is none of his concern. You should report him to the University if he harasses you again. In the meanwhile, if you don't feel safe, you may ask one of your girlfriend to accompany you to go about the university or always stay in group. Honestly, he has no right to do this.

    If you are truly repentant to Allah, meaning not repeating the same mistake and avoid contacting people who encourage you to party. Inshallah, you will feel better and peace will be with you. One little tip, always stay with people who are close to Allah, then you will not go astray while you are outside of your country.

  2. OP: But then a guy came and asked me from which country I come from....... He started telling me how I give such a horrible idea about my religion - that I cherish more than my life - and he was using horrible fool language and he started screaming it very loudly. ...... Then he said "you'll see" and he said the name of an organization in some Islamic countries that are in war.

    What was the guy doing in the party? You don't have to explain any thing to any one. If he threatens you report him to police.

  3. Salam Sister,

    Trust me, no one here is laughing at you or pointing their "judging fingers" at you. I am sure lots of people using this site has done way way worse than just dancing, haven't you read some of these post? Anyone reading this can tell you really really regret your actions and inshaAllah I don't think you will do something like that again. All you can do it repent to Allah and move on. Allah is very merciful as we all know and He knows what's in your heart <3

  4. Regret is a form a Punishment. This says it all. Anas (radhiallahu anhu) said that he heard the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) say: “Allah the Exalted said: “O son of Adam! As long as you invoke Me and plead to Me, I will forgive you whatever you have committed, and I will not make much of it. O son of Adam! If your evil deeds reach the borders of the sky, and then you ask Me for forgiveness, I will forgive you. O son of Adam! If you bring forth the earth full of errors, then you meet Me while you do not associate anything (or anyone) with Me, I will bring forth for you its full of forgiveness.” [At-Tirmidhee (Shaikh Albanee rendered it as Hasan)]

    Ask for repentance & move on. He is the most merciful & especially the merciful.

  5. Contact the police and report his threats. He must have been at the same party, so he is a hypocrite.

    He reminds me of the individuals who excuse taking more than the halal first glance on the basis that they consider themselves the fashion police and inform classmates, etc. that a lock of hair is showing, etc.

    The most ridiculous are the ones who walk up to the Hanafi girls and tell them to "follow the stronger evidence" and cover their feet - with their internet reading they think they know more than Imam Abu Hanifa.

  6. Sister the essential part of being a Muslim is allowing Allah to judge you for your sins. No human can look into your soul and see your true self and your believed intentions. This guy is just a random male whole tried to make himself feel better about his own failings by trying to undermine your's. He clearly shouldn't have been there himself and was feeling guilty

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