Islamic marriage advice and family advice

If I sin during hardship, will this extend my hardship

Hello

I have a question which I would like some help on. I believe that I am in a state of hardship at the moment. I have been unemployed for a about a year and I keep making constant dua and repentance to Allah for a way out and for him to provide me with my dream job. Alhamdulilah this hardship has changed me a lot. I have grown a lot closer to Allah, I always pray my prayers, I learned the Quran again and completed a khatam and I pray tahajjud most nights and overall I would say this hardship has changed me for the better. However during this time of hardship I have committed some horrible and disgusting sins such as masturbation and pornography and even the act of zina 3 times. Every time i committee these sins I felt so bad and regretted instantly and prayed the 2 Rakah of the forgiveness prayer and I feel like I have repented sincerely on each occasion. So my question is that when in a state of hardship, is my hardship extended when I commit sins or is this all part of the hardship? I have been looking all over for the answer and I cannot find it.

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you very much.

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9 Responses »

  1. Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas said: “Good deeds make the face light, give light to the heart, and bring about ample provision, physical strength and love in people’s hearts. Bad deeds make the face dark, give darkness to the heart, and bring about physical weakness, a lack of provision and hatred in people’s hearts.”

    Alhamdulillah that Allah guided you to repentance.
    Sometimes Allah lets his servant go through hardship so he comes closer to him. Keep on making dua keep making good deeds. This life is just a test and the next life is better.

    “I said (to them): ‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord, verily, He is Oft-Forgiving; He will send rain to you in abundance, And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.’” [Quran 71: 10-12]

    Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported:
    I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) saying, “When a person suffers from a calamity and utters: ‘Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un. Allahumma ujurni fi musibati, wakhluf li khairan minha (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. O Allah! Compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss and give me something better in exchange for it), then Allah surely compensates him with reward and better substitute.” Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said: When Abu Salamah (May Allah be pleased with him) died, I repeated the same supplication as the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had commanded me (to do). So Allah bestowed upon me a better substitute than him (I was married to Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ)).
    [Muslim]

    Just think about the punishment Allah punishes the man or women that commits zina. The married man is being punished more severly in a muslim country than the unmarried man. Don‘t ask for the punishment of Allah by commiting zina. So never do it again.
    May Allah unite us in Jannah and give you Jannatul firdous and a job and make you and me steadfast in the religion .
    Also make dua for me
    May Allah reward you for it.

  2. We commit sins during hardships because that is the most ideal time for Satan to attack us. There are three ways to gauge your repentance. Your repentance is genuine if 1) you feel regret 2) if you don't commit grave sins again 3) in the event of committing that sin again, you felt heartfelt regret

    Just make sure never to commit zina again. I am praying for you. God's gonna give you employment soon!

    Read the Arabic version of this ayat. It's in Surah Talaq:

    "And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent." (65:3)

  3. Islam doesn't work like that, lol. Islam isn't some mean girl at school that will bully you until you completely comply with what she wants you to do. You are not the first or last person to masturbate, watch porn and commit zina, yet, other people that do these things still manage to become successful. You are going through hardships, because

    1) You have unrealistic expectations
    2) Maybe there just aren't any jobs in your field available

    It's naive of you to think you will get your dream job when you want to have it. Sometimes, you only get to your dream job by working yourself up to it from the bottom - and you seem unwilling to do so. You expect the dream job to land in your lap immediately. I don't know what field you are in, or when you graduated, but I would say that in most fields, NO ONE lands their dream job immediately. Try to be more open towards jobs you didn't necessarily think you'd want...not only could you learn that there are other jobs out there that you can enjoy, but other jobs could lead to other opportunities for you :). Don't be so rigid about what it is you want to do. Also, when you have been unemployed for a year, can you really afford to be that rigid?

    As far as your bad habits go...I personally don't see anything wrong with masturbation, especially if you are unmarried. I mean, you have urges, what are you supposed to do about them if you can neither get married, have sex outside of marriage or masturbate? It's unrealistic to think an adult person can suppress their urges on the long-term. In my opinion, you should allow yourself to masturbate...maybe if you weren't feeling guilty about doing that, you would do it more and not feel any need for porn and zina.

    • Lindita ,

      Masturbation come under grey area and it is allowed if some one has danger of falling in to Zina .

      But most of time in today's world masturbation is done along with watching porn .
      He might mistake your post to be as its allowed with the porn .

      • Only idiots would think that. I specifically wrote that masturbating without a guilty conscience might help him NOT watch porn. So how anyone would think I'm encouraging porn watching, I don't know. But I have clearly not encouraged that. And I will not take responsibility for the words people read into my posts, even though I have never mentioned them, hinted to them, or anything like that. In this case, I even specified that masturbation might help OP quit his porn watching habit.

        Also, how would you know what "most people" do masturbationwise? How do you know people almost always masturbate to porn? I very much doubt that's true.

        • Also, how would you know what "most people" do masturbationwise?

          As i keep reading similar website where people ask for the help including religious ,non religious helplines , news papers surveys etc etc it almost gives a picture that most of people are in to this habit as its available by just click of a button .

  4. Assalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatu.

    Yes, brother! Sins DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY extend your hardship! In Musnad Ahmad it is narrated that Thawbaan said: “The Allah’s Messengerﷺ said: ‘A man is deprived of provision because of the sins that he commits.’”
    (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 4022).

    SINS DEPRIVE YOU OF ILM (KNOWLEDGE).

    Imam Shafi’i (RA) was walking and he saw the legs of a woman when the breeze blew her dress. Then he began to forget the memorization of the Quran, even though he had a photographic memory. Imam Shafi’i (RA) had a sheikh named Wak’ee and complained to him about his situation. He advised him to give up sins.

    Imam Shafi’i (RA) was a doctor, poet and sheikh and explained his situation in 2 lines of poetry:

    نور الله لا يهدى لعاصشكوت إلى وكيع سوء حفظي ..... فأرشدني إلى ترك المعاصيوأخـبرني بأن العـلم نــور ..... ونور الله لا يهـدى لعـاص

    The light of Allahﷻ is not given to the disobedient: “I complained to Wakee’ of my poor memory. Leaving sins is what he guided me to address. He informed me that knowledge is a light. And Allah’sﷻ light is not gifted to those who transgress.” [Diwan ash-Shafi'i]

    SINS MAKE YOU BECOME POVERTY STRICKEN

    Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself. And We have sent you (O Muhammad SAW) as a Messenger to mankind, and Allah is Sufficient as a Witness. (An-Nisa 4:79)

    Allahﷻ tested three Israeli's, a leper, a bald man and a blind man.

    HADITH

    Narrated By Abu Huraira(RA): that he heard Allah's Apostleﷺ saying: "Allahﷻ willed to test three Israelis who were a Leper, a blind man and a bald-headed man. So, he sent them an angel who came to the leper and said, 'What thing do you like most?' He replied, "Good color and good skin, for the people have a strong aversion to me.' The angel touched him and his illness was cured, and he was given a good color and beautiful skin. The angel asked him, 'What kind of property do you like best?' He replied, 'Camels (or cows).' (The narrator is in doubt, for either the leper or the bald-headed man demanded camels and the other demanded cows.) So he (i.e. the leper) was given a pregnant she-camel, and the angel said (to him), 'May Allahﷻ bless you in it.' The angel then went to the bald-headed man and said, 'What things do you like most?' He said, 'I like good hair and wish to be cured of this disease, for the people feel repulsion for me.' The angel touched him and his illness was cured, and he was given good hair. The angel asked (him), 'What kind of property do you like bests' He replied, 'Cows,' The angel gave him a pregnant cow and said, 'May Allahﷻ bless you in it.' The angel went to the blind man and asked, 'What thing do you like best?' He said, '(I like) that Allahﷻ may restore my eyesight to me so that I may see the people.' The angel touched his eyes and Allahﷻ gave him back his eyesight. The angel asked him, "What kind of property do you like best?' He replied, 'Sheep.' The angel gave him a pregnant sheep. Afterwards, all the three pregnant animals gave birth to young ones, and multiplied and brought forth so much that one of the (three) men had a herd of camels filling a valley, and one had a herd of cows filling a valley, and one had a flock of sheep filling a valley. Then the angel, disguised in the shape and appearance of a leper, went to the leper and said, I am a poor man, who has lost all means of livelihood while on a journey. So none will satisfy my need except Allahﷻ and then you. In the Name of Himﷻ Who has given you such nice color and beautiful skin, and so much property, I ask you to give me a camel so that I may reach my destination. The man replied, 'I have many obligations (so I cannot give you).' The angel said, 'I think I know you; were you not a leper to whom the people had a strong aversion? Weren't you a poor man, and then Allahﷻ gave you (all this property).' He replied, '(This is all wrong), I got this property through inheritance from my forefathers' The angel said, 'If you are telling a lie, then let Allahﷻ make you as you were before.' Then the angel, disguised in the shape and appearance of a bald man, went to the bald man and said to him the same as he told the first one, and he too answered the same as the first one did. The angel said, 'If you are telling a lie, then let Allahﷻ make you as you were before.' The angel, disguised in the shape of a blind man, went to the blind man and said, 'I am a poor man and a traveler, whose means of livelihood have been exhausted while on a journey. I have nobody to help me except Allahﷻ, and after Himﷻ, you yourself. I ask you in the Name of Himﷻ Who has given you back your eyesight to give me a sheep, so that with its help, I may complete my journey' The man said, 'No doubt, I was blind and Allahﷻ gave me back my eyesight; I was poor and Allahﷻ made me rich; so take anything you wish from my property. By Allahﷻ, I will not stop you for taking anything (you need) of my property which you may take for Allah'sﷻ sake.' The angel replied, 'Keep your property with you. You (i.e 3 men) have been tested and Allahﷻ is pleased with you and is angry with your two companions." [Sahih Bukhari, Vol.4, Book 56, Hadith #670]

    This Hadith is proof that sins causes you to be poverty stricken.

    HADITH

    It was narrated from Thawban(RA) that the Allah’s Messengerﷺ said: "Nothing increases one's lifespan except righteousness and nothing repels the Divine decree except supplication, and a man may be deprived of provision by a sin that he commits."' [Sunan Ibn Majah (5/152) No. 4022, Musnad Ahmad (5/277) No. 22440, Mustadrak al-Haakim (1/670) No. 1814, Sahih Ibn Hibban (3/153) No. 872, al-Sunan al-Kubra al-Nasa'i (10/380) No. 11775]

    SINS ALIENATE YOU FROM ALLAH AND HIS RIGHTEOUS SERVANTS

    If you drink alcohol, gamble or perform other sins, Allahﷻ dislikes you, the Angels dislike you and the righteous people dislike you.
    No one wants to be in the company of an evil person.

    SINS MAKE YOUR LIFE DIFFICULT

    The sinful person fails at things he tries in life.
    Nothing works for him.
    He is useless, hopeless and helpless.
    If a person has taqwa, Allahﷻ will find a way out (makhraj) for his circumstances.

    Allahﷻ said in Surah At-Talaq 65:2-3

    Then when they are about to fulfil their term appointed, either take them back in a good manner or part with them in a good manner. And take for witness two just persons from among you (Muslims). And establish the witness for Allah. That will be an admonition given to him who believes in Allah and the Last Day. And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). (At-Talaq 65:2)

    And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.
    (At-Talaq 65:3)

    SINS TAKE AWAY YOUR FURQAN

    Furqan is the criterion to judge between the bad and good, right and wrong, pure and impure.
    When you are sinful, you no longer see truth as truthful and false as falsehood.

    Allahﷻ said in Surah Al-Anfal 8:29

    O you who believe! If you obey and fear Allah, He will grant you Furqan a criterion [(to judge between right and wrong), or (Makhraj, i.e. making a way for you to get out from every difficulty)], and will expiate for you your sins, and forgive you, and Allah is the Owner of the Great Bounty. (Al-Anfal 8:29)

    SINS MAKE YOUR IBAADA BECOME A BURDEN

    Salah (prayer) and Sadaqa (charity) is a burden on the hypocrite.

    "And nothing prevents their contributions from being accepted from them except that they disbelieved in Allah and in His Messenger (Muhammad SAW); and that they came not to As-Salat (the prayer) except in a lazy state; and that they offer not contributions but unwillingly. (At-Tawbah 9:54)"

    SINS BREED SINS

    - An example of sins breeding sins is the story of Barsisa. He was a
    monk who was entrusted with a girl to look after for three brothers.
    - One sin led to another.
    - Lust, Zina, murder, lies then finally shirk were the sins committed
    by the monk.

    SINS TAKE AWAY YOUR DESIRE TO REPENT

    Sins are addictive.

    SINS DESENSITIZE YOU AND MAKE YOU SEE IT AS NORMAL

    Not only does the sin desensitize you, but also makes you hard-hearted.

    Allahﷻ said in Surah Al-Mutaffifin 83:14 "Nay! But on their hearts is the Ran (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earn." (Al-Mutaffifin 83:14)

    This means sin after sin. How this starts is that the heart gets stained by sin, and if the sin increases then the stain grows bigger until it becomes the raan (covering of sin and evil deeds), then it increases until it becomes a seal, and the heart becomes covered and sealed. If that happens after a person had been guided and had understood, then his heart is turned upside down, and at that point the Shaytaan gains control over him and directs him as he wants. [Ibnul Qayyim, al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (pg. 52-60)]

  5. I think all the guilt and pain will lead to more hardship.
    Now I have been through a situation kinda similar except the zna part.

    Personally as mentioned above good deeds, light face, bad deeds dark face is something I totally agree on.

    In time of hardships people turn to things like that,
    Like a drug to ease the pain
    and like all drugs it leads to darkness.

    Now to end this process, it won't be easy
    First you must realize the wrong you have done but know Allah is forgiving as long as you stop.

    Now I believe we should read all holy books.

    The Bible says
    Matthew 6:22-23 King James Version (KJV)

    22 The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.

    23 But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!

    Matthew 5:29 English Standard Version (ESV)

    29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.

    Now I am not saying to hurt youself but I am saying you must at first, remove the root causes of the promblem of this sin.

    Stop watching porn. Nomatter what extent you have to go to.
    Close the wifi package and have a low data package instead.

    Put on parental lock for yourself.
    Quit porn and you will be half healed.

    Next have friends, that you can hangout with and trust.
    Hanging out with your friends and just chilling, talking and stuff will make you feel better.

    Next make sure the room you are in is full of light, it should be bright.

    Read and prayto control all temptation

    Lastly after you have enough self control, pray for forgiveness because you don't wanna pray for forgiveness watch porn, masterbate have sex, oary again and continue the cycle.

    Phychologically speaking.
    Maybe you are lonely and need friends.

    Try being around friends and family more.

    If you control what you see, you will atomically control what you think and do.

    Ask for forgiveness

    And Allah will Inshallah reward you with your dream job.
    This I know.

    And yes, It does extend the suffering.
    You are going through something.
    A lesson must be learnt.
    Only once you learn this lesson of selfconrtol, your suffering will be over.

    Peace.

  6. Assalaamualaikum, again, my dear brother/sister

    Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah has mentioned the effects of sins in his book titled 'Spiritual disease and it's cure.' I haven't just copied and pasted them, but I have carefully read and selected the best passages for you.

    Sins produce other sins.
    A scholar of the past has said: “Among the punishments for a sin is committing a subsequent sin. And among the recompenses for a good deed is doing a subsequent good deed. When a person does a good deed, another good deed besides it says: ‘Do me as well.’ If he does it, a third one says likewise, and so on; therefore, his good deeds, and recompense for them, increase. The same thing occurs, (but in a negative way), when a person commits a sin.”

    Many sinners commit their sins without savouring them, just to prevent the withdrawal symptoms of
    missing them. One such prominent sinner has said: “One glass (of wine) I drank for pleasure, followed by another to heal myself from it (the first drink).”

    The sin is the cause for disgrace from Allah
    Sins weaken the determination of the heart, and strengthen the willpower to commit more sins. The resolve for repentance is then weakened gradually, until it is totally removed from the heart. Once half of one’s heart is dead, one could no longer repent to Allah So, he/she would express repentance intensely, while his heart is still attached to these sins, insisting on committing them in any possible manner. So this is one of the most serious ailments of the heart, and the most destructive of all.

    Sins cause disgrace.

    Sins corrupts one’s intellect

    The accumulation of sins leads to the sealing of the heart
    When a person indulges incessantly in sin and wrongdoings, his/her heart becomes sealed up, and he/she would be careless and thoughtless, as reported by a scholar in his interpretation of the Verse: "Nay, but on their hearts is the Raan (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earn)." Surat Fatir, Verse 10.

    He said: “It is one sin after another sin.” Al-Hasan Al-Basri said: “It is one sin on top of another sin, until the heart becomes blind.”

    A sinner comes under the curse of the Messenger of Allah because of some sins

    Sins deprive the sinner of the benefit of the Prophet’s supplication

    Sins eliminate Haya (Modesty)
    Sins take away from the sinner all sense of modesty which is the living substance of the heart. Modesty is defined as the
    basis of all good, and its removal is the elimination of all that is good.

    The Prophet (SAW) said: “Haya’ is all good.”

    Sins weaken all factors of modesty in a person, to an extent that one becomes careless, despite knowing that other people
    are aware of his sinful life. The majority of the sinners are not ashamed to discuss their evil deeds, because they possess no sense of decency or modesty.

    Sins weaken the heart
    Sins affect one’s heart so it fails to glorify the Lord and weakens its sense of tranquillity.

    Allah has stated in His Book (the Qur’an) the punishment due for sins. He H cast the big sinners into a state of disbelief for what they had earned. He M sealed their hearts with their sins, and forgot them the way they had forgotten their Lord. He wasted them the way they had wasted His Religion.

    Sins may lead a person to become forgotten by Allah
    It is a punishment for a sinner, indulging in sins, to eventually be forgotten by Allah and left alone with the devil.

    Sins take a person out from the scope of Ihsan
    Ihsan is perfection in performing one’s obligations. It is worshipping Allah as though you see Him, but if you are unable to imagine Him, you should remember that He sees you.

    When Ihsan is related to the heart, it prevents it from committing sins; because a person who worships Allah with perfection, is one whose heart is filled with love, hope, fear and remembrance of Allah. He worships Allah as though he sees Him, and so he is prevented from disobeying Him.

    Therefore, when a person is removed from the state of Ihsan , he/she is left among his/her own private company to try to
    enjoy life. If Allah wants good for him/her, He assigns him/her at the circle of the believers; but if he/she disobeys
    Allah and indulges in sins, Allah removes him/her from the state of Iman (good faith), as was said by the Prophet (SAW):
    “A fornicator is not a believer at the time of committing fornication. The one who drinks wine is not a believer at the time of drinking wine. A thief is not a believer at the time of thieving."

    Sins deprive a person of the protection of Allah

    Sins weaken the course of the heart towards Allah and the Last Day
    Sins stand as obstacles in the way of one’s heart, in obeying the Lord; they prevent one from stepping forward towards one’s Lord, in a state of purity.

    The heart normally moves towards Allah with strength, but when it is overpowered by sins, its power is weakened; and
    if its power is removed, the heart breaks its connection with Allah, so then it becomes harder to bring it back.

    A sin could either kill the heart, or inflict it with a serious ailment, weakening its power, until its weakness ends in one
    of the eight ailments, from which the Prophet (SAW) sought refuge in Allah, which are: Worry, grief, inability, laziness, cowardice, miserliness, the heavy burden of debts, and the overpowering of men.

    Sins hold back the Blessings of Allah (to come) and incite His Anger
    No blessing is removed from a Servant of Allah Hi except by his/her own misdeeds; and no misfortune or punishment befalls him/her but from his/her own sins.

    Ali bin Abi Talib said: “No affliction comes down except due to a sin, and it is not removed except with repentance”,
    for Allah said: "Whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He
    pardons much." Surat Ash-Shura, Verse 30.

    He also said: "That is so because Allah will never change a Grace which He has bestowed on a people until they change what is in themselves." Surat Al-Anfal, Verse 53.

    Allah informs us that He will not change the Blessings, which He has bestowed upon His Servant, unless His Servant changes them for him/her self.

    Allah instills terror and fear in the hearts of sinners.
    A sinner’s heart is always in state of anxiety and terror, because obedience to Allah ffl represents the great fortress of Allah, so whoever enters it is safe from the Punishment of this world and the Hereafter; but whoever leaves it would be surrounded by all aspects of fear and worry.

    A sinner’s heart is always restless; he/she feels nervous about any noise he/she hears, and believes that any misfortune is intended for him/her. But one who fears Allah would be spared all these worries.

    A sinner feels delighted when committing a sin, but this is just a pleasure of the moment, as his/her heart is filled with anxiety afterwards.

    Sins draw one’s heart away from righteousness.
    Sins take the heart from its natural state of piety to a state of corruption and deviation. The effect of sins in the heart is like that of diseases on the body. Sins are the ailments of the heart, and there is no cure for the heart, except giving up those sins.

    Sins darken the heart.
    When a person continues to do misdeeds, the original light, which Allah had cast in his/her heart, continues to
    decrease, as the darkness of sins takes over, until it overwhelms the whole heart, and casts it in the world of darkness; the world of self-destruction

    Sins disgrace the self.
    Sins disgrace the self and turn into the meanest and lowest of all creations, just as acts of obedience to Allah turn it into
    the most honourable and praiseworthy; for Allah said: "Indeed, he who succeeds is he who purifies his own soul. And indeed he who fails is he who corrupts his own soul." Surat Ash-Shams, Verse 109.

    A sinner conceals his/herself in his/her sins and hides; avoiding meeting people because of his/her sinful activities. Whereas an obedient Servant of Allah ffl feels his/herself elevated and honoured; and this state of dignity is due to his/her righteousness.

    Sins allow a sinner to become a prisoner of the devil.
    A sinner is always in the grasp of Satan and his/her own desires. He/she is detained and imprisoned by the worst enemy of mankind. There is no narrower a prison than that of one’s base desires, and there are no more dreadful a length of chains than that of passion.

    Sins result in losing one’s status before Allah and before His Creation.
    The most honourable of people with Allah are those who have “ taqwa ” (piety). A person’s closeness to Allah depends on the degree of both his/her fear of Allah and the sincerity of his/her good deeds. When a person disobeys Allah, Allah’s Respect for him/her falls and then Allah makes people lose all esteem in their hearts for him/her. When he/she loses all respect from people, he/she would live a life of disgrace, worry and sadness.

    One of the greatest Blessings of Allah M upon His Servant is to elevate his/her status among mankind. It is for this reason that Allah has assigned such attribute to His Prophets and Messengers.

    Sins deny sinners all words or titles of praise and honour.

    Sins have the effect of reducing one’s intellect.

    Sins lead to severing the tie with Allah

    And there are many more. So just gain taqwa, my dear brother/sister, and Allah will fill your life happiness after happiness. And the best way to gain taqwa is fasting, which could be done from Sunnah on Mondays and Thursdays.

    May Allah give you, us and all the Muslims Taqwa. Ameen.

    Jazakallah Khair. Salaam.

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