Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m a widow with children, can I remarry?

Question:

Asalaamualaikum

I am a widow and have 2 kids would getting married again be ok for me?

Allah Hafiz

- Sister Shazia

Wael's Answer:

Dear Sister Shazia, As-salamu alaykum,

Yes, of course sister. Widows have a right to re-marry. There is nothing wrong with it. The majority of the women that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) married were widows.

And Allah knows best.

If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, I invite you to post your comments below.

(O Allah), Guide us to the straight path; The path of those whom you have favored; Not those with whom you are angry; Nor those who go astray.

Best regards,. - Wael Abdelgawad
IslamicAnswers.com Marriage Advice
Zawaj.com Muslim Matrimonial Service

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29 Responses »

  1. yes remarriage is allowed for widows but I think I have seen it somehow that any woman who lost her husband and did not remarry nor commit adultery/ fornication shall be rewarded on the day of judgement as one of the pious women.
    would appreciate any one who could supply the verse or hadith to ultenticate above.

    • Nusrah, I have not heard of any such narration about widows not remarrying and it is not consistent with Islamic teaching.

      Consider that every one of the Prophet's (pbuh) wives were widows except for Aisha (RA). He led by example, so he is showing us that it is good to marry the widows in order to provide for them. And in fact he encouraged his Sahabah to marry widows. Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said: "One who makes efforts (to help) the widow or a poor person is like a mujahid (warrior) in the path of God, or like one who stands up for prayers all of the the night and fasts all of the day." One of the ways to help the widow, of course, is to marry her.

      Islam is not a monastic religion. In historic Judaism and Christianity, widows were vulnerable because the Old Testament recognized no inheritance rights for them. In the Eastern world, for example India and China, a widowed woman faces severe obstacles. She might be unwanted by her deceased husband's family and even her own family. She is seen as a burden. In fact, in India there is a city where widows go to live in poverty until they die.

      That's no way to live. Islam would never condone or encourage such a situation. That's why we are encouraged to marry the widows and take care of them, and in fact that is one of the main reasons why polygamy is allowed.

      And Allah knows best.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Merriage of widow is allowed but not suported Muhammed said that it is evrybodys own choice if widow doesnt want to merry again she should not and in my family women never merried after their husbands death islam doesnt say that widow merryiege is something good dont forget and muhamed said it and it is written in quran it depends of females because most never merry again because i cant imagine a wife who loved her husband marryed again also in islam a woman will be with her last husband , and if she merryes new one she will be with him and her previous husband will get new family in paradise - it is orriginal islam. I agree with Nusrah , people like you dpnt respect widows who live alone because they still love dead husband and in ky family it was always strong and most muslims familys are like that, i am a guy and proud of women from my family and i want to merry a girl who will never had before and will never have after me , even if i die , so merrying a widow is not islamic tradition but a choice

        • Three things should not be delayed!!
          1. salat when you hear the azaan
          2. burrying the dead body and
          3. remarriage of the widow once she has completed iddah!!! can someone plz add the refence don't remember!

          • I am not sure if this is what you meant:

            Do not delay in three things; 1) The offering of the obligatory prayer. 2) The offering of the funeral prayer when the deceased's body is present. 3) The marriage of a woman when her couple is found.” (narrated by Tirmidzi)

            OR

            It is reported that Al-Ahnaf b. Qays – Allâh have mercy on him – said:

            “Restraint is praiseworthy except in three things.”

            People asked:

            “And what are they o Abû Bahr?”

            He replied:

            “Make haste to do the righteous deed, hurry to conduct the funeral of your deceased, and marry the girl in your charge to a suitable man [as soon as you find him.]”

            [Aboo Bakr Al-Daynooree, Al-Mujâlasah wa Jawaahir Al-’Ilm 6:307]

          • It is not necessary bro

            If it is necessary than thetwives of prophet muhammad never married him death

        • you are right brother.
          I will not want my wife to remarry if I die becaouse I want to be with her in Jannah.
          widowed sisters should also think about their dead husbands.
          both spouse should not remarry after the death of other spouse if they loved each other and want to stay with eachother in Jannah.

        • You would like to marry a woman who has never been married before, and you don't want her to remarry after you. Let me ask you this, do you believe in love or do you believe in arrange marriage? The way you just explained seems like arrange marriage, my friend, you can not love someone in arraigned marriage the way you love someone whom you actually fell in love with. People get divorced for many reasons, if a husband cheats or beats on his wife I believe she has every right to remarry and be happy again. Or if it was other way around, wife cheats or beats him I think the husband has the right to be happy again with someone else.

      • what do say about the widow who donot marry because of her children because in our society most of the men a ready to merry a wodow but do not like her children or donot want to support or look after her children. if a widow donot marry just because of her children' look after is there no Ajar for her?

        • There is a precious gift for and the gift is nothing but your children that your child feelfa great respect to you that their mother love them so seriously that she reject every thing for them your children have aagreat joy for you

      • every body says that a widow should get merry for her life and prosperity but no one think about the children, the orphans whose father died and her mother get merry and bring a step father for them. no body in todays society is able or want to up bring others children. exceptions are there but this is mostly our society behave.

    • I agree with you in my family widows never merried again and most muslim families and females dont support re merriage i am a guy and should admit that inwant to merry a girl who never nad and will never have another man even if i die and a widow who will not mery best reward - her husbands whom she always loved even after his death

      • It is an individual's own choice. Perhaps a widow remains loyal to her husband's memory and prefers not to remarry but finds herself in a situation where she really needs the security of marriage. There are widows from Iraq and Syria who fell into prostitution in order to provide for their children. They have been used by people exploiting their desperate situations. This is a reality and not something theoretical. Also, a single woman may find it difficult to raise her children on her own when they do not have the guidance of a father-figure. Other women do not wish to be a burden on their aging parents or other family members. A woman has to decide what is in the best interests of herself and her children after her husband's death, and she is not committing a sin by getting married again. In fact, she may be doing something praiseworthy if such a marriage protects her and her children from various dangers. Even if she merely desires love and companionship to keep her chaste, there is nothing wrong with this. Society should not look down on a woman who remarries and starts a new life with a new husband, and there should be no stigma attached to this when we consider the example of the Prophet (PBUH).

        The only thing I would I would caution women about, whether they are divorced or widowed, is to make sure they are truly putting the interests of their children above all else. A stepfather may resent his wife's children from a first marriage. Similarly, children may resent a new man in their mother's life. If you are marrying someone, you have to make sure that all parties feel comfortable with each other and that the man is up to the role of fathering the children. Not all men are capable of this, and it is a complex role. Do not put your desire to marry above the needs of your children. "Blended" families can be successful but they are often not, and children are especially fragile after the death of a parent. They need your undivided attention so that they grow up emotionally healthy, and if you are focused on your new marriage, they may feel neglected whether that is your intention or not.

        • Totally in agreement. Thanks Amel for putting it in this way.

          • YES, totally agree with Amel. I am recently widowed. A few weeks before my husband died suddenly we had talked on this subject. My husband advised that when I should re-marry as I agreed he should do the same. Never knowing he would be gone from this earth only a few months after. I must say although I am not in a rush to marry, but having the companionship of someone to share life with when the world feels like it is closing in on you, someone to pray with, laugh with, cry with, etc is truly a mercy from Allah. May Allah guide all of us with knowledge and understanding according to His Will.

        • My father died 2009 due to severe heart attack when I was 18 years old.I have three sisters.i am the only male member.my mother married a person in 2012 secretly without telling us.she also dot told even a single member in family.she is a teacher and her encome was enough for us.when i came to know about her marriage.i was shocked .i started weeds.try to suicide .and now i dot live with her anymore.my sisters are not with me.i think she love her second husband more then anyone in the world.but my father was my real hero.he did everything for her. I think she's wrong what do u think ???

          • Salam Boada,

            I think it's fine that your mother married someone else and as that person's wife she should love that person. You're comparing her love to this new person with how things were when your dad died. Those two relationships are at different stages. She is in the honeymoon period of her new relationship whereas with your dad they had been married for years so it wouldn't have been at the exciting stage. Sure initially when your parents got married she would've been very attractive and they may have had a stronger relationship than what you've witnessed with this new guy.

            Also, you're taking her new relationship as a betrayal and it isn't. You don't know if your father would've wanted her to get remarried. He isn't there and she has needs of love and companionship that are not going to be met by being single.

            Islamically she's doing nothing wrong. If you are treating her poorly or severing ties with her because she remarried then you are doing something wrong. I recommend keeping good relations with her and not taking on sins from treating her poorly.

          • I understand how hurt and betrayed you and your sisters felt, but you must understand your mom needs to be happy too. Yes, she should have talked to you and your sisters, and she should of told you about her wanting to remarry. But you also need to understand that she might have thought you would not agree, you would not understand her, her husband would never be able to take your fathers place but at least he would try to be there for you and your sisters. If he makes your ok happy, you should be happy for your mom, your mom needs someone's company, to talk to, to drink coffee, to enjoy her self with someone and to laugh.

          • Boada i can feelfyour pain you have seen your mother with your father for long 18 and after some time your mother marries someone else is really painful a man can see every thing but he cant sees his with any one other than his father

            For women who come first her children or sexual relationships a momoth hurts his son just for being sex it is toughetfortsuch son who have withwtheir father for 18 yrs and when they turn 18 yrs their father dies and after 6 months their mother remarries this act kill their son soul how can a son see that there mother is with someother man
            Mr M
            If your father dies and after just a couple of months your mother remarries someone else whom you dont know how you feel this situation thattyour mother is with your father for eg 18 yrs and your father dies when you 18 and your mother remarries someone else and leaves you do you happy with this if your mother second takes her somewhere other country do you happy with that that the person you dont know is taking your mother far away from you dodyou feelfhappy
            How that person can will keep your mother the perpersyou dont lnow and that person takes you person somewhere else how your hearts feel bCz in islam on women husband has more rights than no one else in islam there is no relationship between stepfather and stepson

            Bro plzzz plzz
            Dont sees this kind of question as a question it is a situation that BOADA feels no one can imagine his feelingfno one can only that person can imagine who father dies at tbetage of 18 and after 6 months when he turns 18 years 6 months and his mother remarries some one else

            HOW CAN A CHILD CAN SEE THAT A PERSON OTHER THAN HIS FATHER CAN TOUCH OR SEES HER MOTHER
            OR HIS MOTHER CAN SEE AND TOUCH ANY OTHER MAN OTHER THAN HIS FATHER

          • Brother Mohd khalid, grow up. Parents are not only parents, they are also human beings with a need for companionship like anyone else. My father passed away several years ago, may Allah have mercy on him. If my mother married someone else I might find it strange but I would accept it, because it is her life and her right.

            The relationship between parent and child represents one kind of love. The relationship between husband and wife is a different kind of love. The two are not mutually exclusive. A child has no exclusive claim on his parents' affection or love. The parent has a right to find a partner if he or she chooses.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Amazing answer! Islam will always advice us for the best!! If our prophet (PBUH) did it he had a strong reason and I think because he did not want woman to suffer providing for her kids or fall into prostitution. Allah knows best! May you and your husband's have a long life inshallah.

          • i think getting remarried is a choise,depends on the person.it is not something obligatory,also not something wrong to do.it is completely allowed for a woman who needs it.we can learn that from the life of our Prophet(SALLALLAHI WA SALLAM).

            Though i dont want want my wife to do it if something happens to me :-(.i really want to be with her in JANNAH forever INN SHAA ALLAH .May ALLAH accept my wish AAMEEN.
            ALHAMDULILLAH ISLAM is the only Religion which covers every corners of life.i am happy that there are some beautiful examples from where we can learn that one can also request his wife to not to get remarried after his death so that they can live in JANNAH forever.but the decission will still depend on the woman.
            There is a hadith which says if a woman ,after her husbands death stays patient and take care of her children without getting married again for the sake of ALLAH ,they will live near Prophets(PBUH) home in JANNAH.SUBHANALLAH. 🙂

            May ALLAH accept us ,have mercy on us ,guide us all in the right path with proper knowledge and understanding and reunite us with our spouse in JANNAH,AMEEN.
            btw beautiful answers!....my previous veiw was wrong but the answers really helped me to get some knowledge on this matter..JAZAKALLAH KHAIR brithers and sisters.may ALLAH bless you all and accept all our wishes.AAMEEN.
            🙂

  2. I strongly agree with Wael. The widow has rights and respect just like any other women in Islam and maybe little bit more. She is a mother with an experience that has a great value.
    The way I see it, yes she can and maybe should get married again and be an active part of the Muslim society again and help with her experience again and again.

    • Assalamu Alykum,

      I am a muslim, however , with what is going on in the muslim ummah, I feel like I am useless , doing nothing but Duaa,,,,I realize that is not enough especially from am muslim man,,,,,i am not sure if I can marry one or more Syrian widowers and sponsor their kids and even more kids ,,please guide me JAK.
      Finally , YASSERU WA LA TUASSERU...

      • May Allah reward you for your desire to help others. Even if you cannot marry a widow, you can sponsor a Syrian orphan through an organization like Helping Hands or Islamic Relief. If you live in a European country you also have Syrian refugees there, so you can participate in a clothing and food drive or other relief program.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • You can help Muslim ummah in general.

  3. Assalamwalekum mera naam Mariya hai mujhe eak baby boy hai mere husband ka death hogaya kya mai marriage karsakte hu kya WO mere baby Ku apna sakte hai...

  4. I am a 28 yrs old window With 4 children, I want to re marry. But my parents are asking me to re marry later bcoz my kids are small below 7 yrs. Both my and husband s parents are alive. And if I re marry what about my children s. Can I take them with me??

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