Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m engaged but want to marry someone else

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Assalamualaikum i just wanted to ask that i am engaged with my khala's son and for my parents i got agreed and i said that time that i am happy in ur choice... I started university and there i found a person who likes me and really respect me and wana get married with me now and i also wana get married with him..now what can i do to ?? i am so much tensed these days and i dont want to marry with my cousion ..please help me or tell me any dua that something will happen and i can talk to my parents for the guy i like to marry.

coolmind95


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6 Responses »

  1. Hi.

    In brief, you got engaged to someone, met someone else, now you want to break things off with the former.

    Without knowing more about the two suitors, its hard to advise. However, assuming there isn't anything conspicuously wrong with your fiancé, id say you're being selfish and immature. I don't suppose you've ever thought how it'd be if someone did that to you?

    Allah knows best.
    AAZA

    • Hi

      I disagree. She is not being selfish because she stated that she did it for her parents which is not uncommon for Arab to do that. It can be stressful and overwhelming when ones parents are "recommending" the proper suitor because "they know the family" or whatever the case is and the person who is weak or scared will just listen to their parents assuming they know whats best for them. Unfortunately, parents don't always know whats best for you. I would say be with guy you met and not with your cousin.

      Good luck,

      Ahmad

      • so this is fair on her fiancée? Maybe she should of told her parents she wasn't interested before.

        • yes it is fair for him because if she really doesn't love him they will end up divorced or at the least have an unhappy marriage. Also, she may have been pushed by her parents to get engaged and she was in a situation where she thought her parents know whats best. In reality parents do not know whats best when it comes to marriage, its all about the person and what they feel.

  2. If you really wants to stay with a guy you have met in a university. Go to your parents talk to them make them understand, clear all their doubts and say your point that why do you not want to marry your fiancee.
    This will help you to save yourself from creating a big trouble for everyone.

  3. Dear Sister

    Love between opposite sex starts with sudden attraction(short lived) and then leads to desire. This desire is then converted to be a sincere wish to be together for the rest of life. So ultimately any love affair boils down to one unique spiritual element and that is sincerity.

    One has to ask own self about the level of sincerity one wishes to commit on a relation-ship and also if the other person is also sincere enough to commit to a relation-ship.

    So it really does not matter whether one is introduced to a suitor through parents or in a work-place. It is the comparison of sincerity that should decide the matter in the end.

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