Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m in a loveless marriage since day one

Disappearing love, vanishing love

Assalyam  alikum

My stories is pretty complicated but I need advice from anyone besides my family I feel like they don't know what to do.

It all started a few years ago. I was 14  years old and in a bad place  (depressed). I was pulled out of school then I heard someone asked for my hand and after a few months of back and forth it was official. I left the country for a few years and  he got ahold of my number we started talking and we were young and foolish  said things I regret after a year of that I've noticed  he would start he would taunt me. And I didn't like nor cared about him so I started ignoring him.

I asked that we end the engagement. It was on hold for a few months until I returned to the country one thing led to another we were back together and its bad. I feel like he doesn't care about anything I have to say my opinions he would lie his way until we were married. I wasn't attracted to him physically or sexually. I never had that crazy in love stage or honeymoon phase.

It was terrible after I got married. Most of the time in the house acting like he doesn't care it tore me apart. Not feeling loved. I tried talking to him several times, it got to the point where we separated and nothing worked.

We're right back to where we started. I'm always angry in arguments, we barely get along, especially living with his family who think I'm their slave and only their son's feelings is what's important. And I barely go - out they would always make a fuss about us going out or if we're alone a long period of time.

He's childish, close minded. I want to get an education and he thinks because I'm a female that it's worthless that my only job is the kitchen and picking up after his family.

We have a kid together and I'm doing it for him. I thought it would take time to love him but 2 years pass by and I'm still not in love with him. It got to the point where we go for days without talking to each other,  he even got abusive once and I was left bruised.

I hate living with him. I can't stand his house, him or his family. Every time I'm at my family's I feel peace in mind and don't want to go back. I don't know what to do. I can't keep living like this. I want to marry someone and love him. I need help, what should I do? It's killing me in the inside and it's driving me insane not knowing what's the right thing to do !!!!


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2 Responses »

  1. This is not complected but unusual problem. People usually fall in problems, but you have jumped into problems. From the very beginning you knew that he does not care for you. From the very beginning you knew that you do not love him. Still you married him. What better can you expect from this marriage?

    Anyway, you can not change the past. Now you want him to love you and have a happy life with you. You want him to love you. If you give him child, cook for him, do his laundry, massage him everyday - this will NOT give you his love. The only way to get his love is - start loving him. He will also start loving you when he feels your love. Human can not deny love for long time.

    It is a stupidity, when you hate someone and want him to love you.

  2. How can you expect to get love from someone you don't love???

    I'm a bit confused here, but why can't you guys get divorce and live in peace. Explain to your family what's going on. Show them that you're not happy maybe they'll do something about it

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