Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m Muslim and I’m going to marry a Hindu boy…

Hindu temple in Sri Lanka

I am a Muslim girl and plan to marry a Hindu boy, we both are adult, do I have to add his surname behind my name after marriage? What will be our child 's surname after marriage? Will I be buried or cremated after my death? I will not change my religion after marriage and want to be buried after death? Is it possible? Will I get acceptance for burying as per Muslim law? Will I be allowed to perform Hajj after marriage?

Lak

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14 Responses »

  1. a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim, it is not allowed. since it is not allowed you wont be able to do hajj with your non-Muslim spouse.

    if you don't care what Islam says and you still insist on marrying him then, things like burial, child's name etc is something the couple need to discuss and agree upon, its not for a third party to decide.

    for your sake and your future children's sake, marry a Muslim. don't rush into something which you may regret..

    peace..

  2. There is consensus amongst Muslim scholars that from an Islamic perspective this is impermissible, based on the Qur'anic verse (Surat Al-Baqarah 221):

    And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. .. And do not marry polytheistic men until they believe. .... And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.

    This is very clear evidence. Given that Hinduism is not exclusively monotheistic in a manner consistent with Islamic teachings, there is consensus amongst Muslim scholars that they fall in the category of mushrikeen (people who do not worship a Creator God).

    Everyone of us must choose to be a true Muslim, by following what Islam teaches.
    The word "Muslim" comes from the root in Arabic, "Aslama" and that carries a number of meanings from English, because the English language does not have this word. So here are the principle meanings within the word "Muslim":

    The one who does 'aslama' is a mu-slim', because this person gives over their choices in any matter to the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, Allah.
    They are in total: Submission, Surrender, Obedience, Sincerity, Peace and Purity - with Allah in all matters and all final decisions rest with Allah.
    Details on this topic are found on our website at: http://www.WhatsIslam.com

    This topic should not be about you getting married to a good, kind and loving man - who is a HINDU.
    It should be about you following Islam, according to Quran and Sunnah and accepting the man whom Allah chooses for you to enter Paradise with.
    Allow me to share more than just my "feelings" about this topic and then at the end I would like to offer a very nice solution to the whole thing that would make everyone happy, inshallah.

    I do see your point about finding someone you feel comfortable with and want to make a life with. The problem is, it is not acceptable to Allah. He does not consider what you have as a true marriage, due to it not being within what He has prescribed in His Book.

    You may see this man as something very good, especially to you. But have you thought about this, the man does not believe in Allah, as One and only One God. The man does not believe in Adam, Ibrahim, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad, peace be on them, as prophets. He does not love Allah. He cannot enter Jennah. You cannot be with him in the Next Life

    Marriage to such a person will only end in a huge problem. The man would eventually challenge something from Allah's religion, and the woman would have to make a decision to leave him or stay without real Islam anymore.

    Another problem would be the children. She would be intimidated by the man's family to allow the children to become their religion, or at least to allow these children to "choose for themselves". And that would be rejected by Allah on the part of the parents. The mother and father of a child are responsible for raising their children in the best way, as believers.

    The fact is, men and women who are believers in Allah, can only marry other believers in Allah. This is according to Allah's Speech (Quran) to all of us.
    Take a look for yourself --

    Surah Al Maidah, chapter 5, verse 5
    Al-Yawma 'Uĥilla Lakumu Aţ-Ţayyibātu Wa Ţa`āmu Al-Ladhīna 'Ūtū Al-Kitāba Ĥillun Lakum Wa Ţa`āmukum Ĥillun Lahum Wa Al-Muĥşanātu Mina Al-Mu'umināti Wa Al-Muĥşanātu Mina Al-Ladhīna 'Ūtū Al-Kitāba Min Qablikum 'Idhā 'Ātaytumūhunna 'Ujūrahunna Muĥşinīna Ghayra Musāfiĥīna Wa Lā Muttakhidhī 'Akhdānin Wa Man Yakfur Bil-'Īmāni Faqad Ĥabiţa `Amaluhu Wa Huwa Fī Al-'Ākhirati Mina Al-Khāsirīna

    Translation to English:
    By sister Umm Mohamed in Sahih International: This day all good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And lawful (for marriage) to Muslim men are the chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking (secret) lovers.
    And whoever denies the faith – their work has become worthless, and they, are in the Hereafter, among the losers.

    Surah Baqarah, (the Cow) chapter 2, verse 221

    And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those who invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.

    Surah Al Mumtahinah (the Woman Examined), chapter 60, verse 10

    Transliteration:
    Yā 'Ayyuhā Al-Ladhīna 'Āmanū 'Idhā Jā'akum Al-Mu'uminātu Muhājirātin Fāmtaĥinūhunna Allāhu 'A`lamu Bi'īmānihinna Fa'in `Alimtumūhunna Mu'uminātin Falā Tarji`ūhunna 'Ilaá Al-Kuffāri Lā Hunna Ĥillun Lahum Wa Lā Hum Yaĥillūna Lahunna Wa 'Ātūhum Mā 'Anfaqū Wa Lā Junāĥa `Alaykum 'An Tankiĥūhunna 'Idhā 'Ātaytumūhunna 'Ujūrahunna Wa Lā Tumsikū Bi`işami Al-Kawāfiri Wa As'alū Mā 'Anfaqtum Wa Līas'alū Mā 'Anfaqū Dhālikum Ĥukmu Allāhi Yaĥkumu Baynakum Wa Allāhu `Alīmun Ĥakīmun

    O you who believe, when the believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them. Allah is most knowing as to their faith. And if you know them to be believers, then do not return them to the disbelievers; they are not lawful wives for them, nor are they lawful husbands for them. But give the disbelievers what they have spent. And there is no blame upon you if you marry them when you have given them their due compensation. And hold not to marriage bonds with disbelieving women, but ask for what you have spent and let them ask for what they have spent. That is the judgement of Allah; He judges between you. And Allah is Knowing and Wise.

    The word in Arabic translated here as 'polytheist' is 'al mushrikaati' and this is the female form of the word. That is because it is not permissible for Muslim women to even consider marriage to a non-Muslim man. The word translated in surah al Mumtahinah as 'disbelievers' is 'al kuffari' in Arabic and this is the male.
    Let us consider some of the reasons for this, inshallah.
    Number one, and absolutely the most important, is because Allah Subhannah wa Ta'ala has said so. And it is not up to us to even worry about the "WHY" when we have a very clear commandment from Allah telling us to do something or not to do something. The best reference from the Quran is in chapter 4, surah An-Nisaa', verse 65.

    Surah An Nisaa', chapter 4, verse 65

    But no, by your Lord, they will not [truly] believe until they make you, [O Muhammad], judge concerning that over which they dispute among themselves and then find within themselves no discomfort from what you have judged and submit in [full, willing] submission.

    There can be no doubt after this verse, everything is hinged off of our belief and our actions together - not separate. Allah is swearing on Himself in this verse! How strong is that? He is saying we are NOT believers, if we see in Quran or hadeeth a Commandment from Allah and then we don't accept it whole heartily, with no discomfort or reservation in our hearts or minds.
    Recall, if you will, the story of Adam in the Paradise and what it was that Allah said to Adam, telling him not to even approach or come near to the forbidden tree. He was not just ordered to avoid eating the fruit from it. He was ordered "STAY AWAY".
    OK, now consider this, what was wrong with the tree? What was wrong with the fruit from the tree? Was it poison? Was it spoiled? Did Allah want it for some other purpose?
    The answer is, "Who cares?" Allah gave an order, what are you doing, thinking and contemplating the reasons for the order, while you are sitting there eating the fruit?

    Idolators (non-Jewish, non-Christian and non-Muslim) are never accepted as believers and not lawful for the Muslim men to marry. The Jewish and Christian women (only) are permitted to marry the believing men, so as to allow them to have the opportunity to draw closer to the truth and learn more about Islam. Their children would be raised automatically as believing Muslims.
    How about this idea, you start taking a more serious look at your own religion and begin to really practice it as much as you can. Then if you see it for what it really is, you can share your findings with this man. Then if he likes what you are talking about and decides he does find this attractive, you help him come to the true Islam. Then both of you will be much better off in this life and in the Next Life.

    Here is a nice video part one and two for you both to enjoy and see what it can do to help out:
    http://www.WhatsIslam.com

    Meantime, you are in big trouble with your family and with Allah Subhannah Wa Ta'ala. This needs to be corrected (ended) or you could destroy yourself and not help him either.
    Oh, and by the way, according to Allah - this man is NOT your husband - Not in the sight of Almighty Allah. It is only adultery you are doing and calling it marriage to a Hindu.

    Sister, we are praying for you and for this man to be rightly guided by Allah to the deen al-Haqq - Islam. Do your best and ask Allah to help you all.

    Jazakallah khair was salam alaykum,

    Usman

    • Why is it allowed for muslim boy to marry hindu girls. If muslim boys do that then why are these boys not removed from muslim religion. They cheat their own relegion then they should be punished

      • It is NOT allowed for a Muslim man to marry a Hindu women. However it's not up to us to punish people for such sins. That is the job of Allah SWT.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. 1. Even in Islam, women do not need to change or add husands' last name after marriage. It is completely your choice. Same to your children - future children.
    2. To be cremated or buried, this is NOT your choice as your burial will be taken care by your family when you died. They may give you a "Hindu" burial out of your wish. Check with your local masjid, I don't think you are able to have an Islamic burial.

    By reading your post, I have a feeling that Islam for you is only but a culture or a jacket that you put on your body. There is no effect on your personal life whatsoever. If that is the case, there is no need to follow a set of "rituals" to get "blessing" by God. It is because Islam does not work this way. By marrying a Hindu - polytheistic practices, will change your life and drift you away from Islam. Again, it is your choice and you will be judged afterlife if you believe there is one.

    Sorry to say that, I doubt if you really know about the knowledge of Islam, maybe it is a time for you to dig up the real knowledge before you even worry about all those secondary questions.

  4. Assalam alaikum,

    Dear Sister,

    I see that it is important to you that you are Muslim, that you remain Muslim after marriage, that you be buried at that time of your death and that you want to perform Hajj. Maa shaa Allah, may Allah swt make you successful in doing all of this. In order for you to do these things you will, especially perform Hajj with your husband, you have to ensure that you marry a Muslim.

    I know that you want to marry someone who is not Hindu, but as a Muslim, man or woman, we cannot marry someone who associates another deity with Allah swt. Imagine, the ONE who Created you, the earth, the planets, the space between the earth and the planets, your cells, each one with a nucleus and mitochondria all working to make one cell function and then we have billions and billions of them--we could not or possibly dare to commit shirk. Our soul would be destroyed.

    All I can say is that I respect you for being Muslim, wanting to remain Muslim, wanting to be buried after death and wanting to perform Hajj. These are important to you and let now your nafs or shaitaan snatch these away from you. Whatever has happened has happened, but no love, no feeling, nothing compares to the belief in Allah swt--that feeling alone makes our heart burst. When there is no one, we know that Allah is there--and that feeling is enough--so why would you destroy that?

    May Allah help you to see the precious jewel you have in your heart. Your belief in Him.

  5. Nice reply

  6. Sister you are planning to take a big step ahead. Look where it leads?

    Life is short, this step is wrong for you, marry a good muslim who will treat u well..

    Someone who can get you closer to paradise...

    Marrying a Hindu is haraam so I don't know how you can even do nikah?
    So wwill that marriage even be valid?

    I hope he accepts Islam at minimum not becz of u...but bcz he believes it..

    You know in the end how ever clever man thinks they r ...u will come to conclusion

    Islam is always wiserr...n tell u do whts better...
    If u can sacrifice this hindu thing for Allah.

    There r so many men....plz I advice as my sister marry someone who prays..
    Believes in Islam...who behaves like prophet muhammad pbuh

    Respectful carrring

    Why do u want to go to someone whose in the wrong path...

  7. Muslim Girl cannot marry a hindu. clear and simple.

    The only way you can marry this guy is if he with total conviction became muslim, with no pressure from anybody.

    If he prefers to stay as Hindu, cut communication with his and forget about him. You are not allowed to marry him.

    make duaa for him that Allah guides him to his path

    May Allah help you be a good muslimah who put Allah first in her life

  8. Dear Sister,

    Since the time you have posted this many things would have changed. Married to the same boy .?

    Please remember that our purpose of life in this world is to live according Allah's commands and our prophet way.

    What excuse we can give to Allah for our mistakes ,which we know that we are taking the path of hell fire.

    You seem to be mashaallah strong in islam bcos u r worried about ur burrial etc. Have you invited your BF towards islam.You be the role model by following islam.Please do not compromise for love and emotions.Allah has gifted as very precious gift by understanding islam and knowing our creator.Your kids will follow you,they will be either a reason for jannah or will be a reason for your destruction.

    May Allah guide you.. Aameen

  9. A man once came to al-Hasan al-Basri and complained to him: “The sky does not shower us with rain.” He replied: “Seek Allah’s forgiveness (i.e. say أستغفر ألله).”
    Then another person came to him and said, “I complain of poverty.” He replied: “Seek Allah’s forgiveness.”
    Then another person came to him and complained, “My wife is barren; she cannot bear children.” He replied: “Seek Allah’s forgiveness.”
    The people who were present, said to al-Hasan: “Everytime a person came to you complaining, you instructed them to seek Allah’s forgiveness?”
    Al-Hasan al-Basri said, “Have you not read the statement of Allah? ‘I said “Ask forgiveness of your Lord. Truly He is Oft-Forgiving. He will send rain to you in abundance; increase you in wealth and children; grant you gardens and bestow on you rivers.”‘” [Nuh (71):10-12]
    There are two things in the earth that give a person safety and security from the punishment of Allah. The first has been removed, whilst the second still remains. As for the first, it was the Messenger of Allah (صلي ألله عليه و سلم).“Allah would not punish them while you were among them.” [al-Anfal (8):33] As for the second, it is istighfar. “Allah would not punish them as long as they sought forgiveness.” [al-Anfal (8):33]أستغفر ألله… أستغفر ألله… أستغفر ألله…
    Do not ever leave istighfar!
    Please share and remember that you will receive the reward for all those who make istighfar, due to your reminder.
    Astaghfirullaaha wa 'atoobu 'ilayhi.
    I seek the forgiveness of Allah and repent to Him. (Recite one hundred times in Arabic during the day)
    It is reported in Saheeh Muslim that Prophet Muhammad SAWS said: “I seek forgiveness one hundred times in a day.” [Muslim]
    Rasul Allah (saws) said, “If anyone continually asks forgiveness, Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress, relief from anxiety, and will provide for him from where he never realized.”
    [Abu Dawood, Hadith 599]
    MAY ALLAH GIVE US TAWFEEQ TO REPENT AAMEEN

  10. No Allowed you are putting yourself at risk. Basically if he hasnt accepted Islam then you are comitting adultry because hes Haram for you! Wakeup and study your correct Islam !!

  11. If allah dosent like it why would u think it will bring u happiness.......its haraam relationship......if u will leave it and believe in allah allah will give u more bigger and better than it...if u still wanna 2 do that than ask him to belive in allah with all his heart...otherwise dear u dont have any right to marry him as ur existence is bcoz of allah and if than also u r going to wrong path than its conpletely ur fault u have to bare punishment 4 all ur sins

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