Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m Muslim, he’s Christian & we are in love, but do not know how to work the religious difference

I am a Muslim girl and my boyfriend is a Christian.

muslim christian

A Masjid and a Church in Beirut

We are madly in love, but we do not know how to work the religious difference and we really dont want to part because we are willing to take the relationship further.

What should I do?

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78 Responses »

  1. Assalamu alaikum sister,
    First and foremost you must understand that "boyfriend and girlfriend" is not allowed in Islam. This is completely prohibited and an act of the utmost disobedience to Allah. So the first step to "take this further" is to stop seeing him completely. Second, A muslim woman cannot marry a non muslim man so in order to "take this further" he must accept Islam as his complete way of life. If not, he becomes prohibited for you. Last but not least it sounds from the fact that you two were "boyfriend and girlfriend" that you still are quite young. Does your father know that his daughter has a boyfriend? I think that if you really want to consider taking this further with this christian fellow that you give him inormation about this beautiful deen of Islam. Then tell your father that there is someone you are interested in marrying. Wa Allahu Alam.

  2. Dear Sister, As-salamu alaykum,

    There is no way to "work" the difference. A Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man. If he accepts Islam wholeheartedly then you can marry him. Otherwise, there is no future between the two of you.

    You should not have gotten involved with him in the first place. I hope other Muslims will be warned and don't get involved in these types of haram situations.

    Wael Editor

    • As salamu alaykum, dear Mumud,

      I do agree with Wael, this kind of relationship only brings deep suffering and not just for the couple, once they have children, they are the main sufferers.

      You just said it "madly in love", that is the first step for suffering, I am sorry to tell you this but this kind of love is infatuation, is not real love, and when you are at the point to go further, scares me, do you realized how much you can loose with this relationship?

      Please, think about it and be honest between you two, this will affect both of your roots and after the infatuation is gone, lots of suffering will come.

      All my Unconditional Respect and Love,


      • How can you call that as an infatuation when ure not the one who feels it. Goes through it. Did u realize that uve just pointed out ur own assumption? I felt sorry for the girl. Of all the answers i can see everyone is blaming her for falling in love. Love too is a feeling that can be developed out of nothing. Its something human nor science can define. Girl. I can say only one thing. Pray to god. Ask from god so that ur burden would be ceased. To give u the right answer. Dont ask from people.

        • I agree I've noticed that some people seem to think that falling in love is wrong mostly dirty at least their trying to do the right thing by they're faith

          Hugs ♡.

        • I have being in love from high school till now. Of course then I don't understand Islam well even now am still learning. I love him so much but he is a Christian i don't know what to do its 8 years now. I dream about him I love him so much but am really into Islam. Please what advice do you have for me for am scared if I get married to another man I might still be talking to him and that's adulterous.

      • We all know that we fall in love even though you don't want to. Did she say that she wanted to be in love? We don't know but it isn't her fault. We don't get to chose who we will love. It just comes naturally. As a half muslim my dad wants me to marry a guy who is muslim but it isn't my decision on who I'm going to fall in love with. She knows that muslims can't marry non-muslims. We should respect their relationship and pray. We should respect the feelings of others because it's not our feelings it's theirs.

        • Actually Shivani, you can choose who you fall in love with to some degree. First of all, "falling in love" as it's thought of in the West is not something real. It's mostly just attraction and desire. And the more time you spend around someone and thinking of that person or giving attention to that person, the more likely you are to develop an attraction.

          Secondly, you do not have to act on those feelings. A girl can have an attraction and desire for someone but still ignore those feelings and behave as a Muslim. Our faith in Allah and our desire to please Him should be more important than our own desires.



          • lady gg, it has nothing to do with snobbery. The reason we marry Muslims is because what we want from life is different from what the non-Muslims want. For a believer, her priority is to please God and live his life according to God's teachings in the Quran. Therefore it makes sense for her to choose someone who will help him on that path, while she helps him - not someone who will distract her from it. The same is true for a man. He should seek someone whose goals and dreams are compatible with his. It goes both ways.

            Your remark about "slave women" is insulting. You are looking down on Muslim women and demeaning them, all the while calling us hypocritical? Think about that.


  3. i have the same problem ,, but i don't think we even wanna be taking this to the next step .. we just want to stay together ,, his parents don't want us to talk or see each other any more , he cant take the car to come see me , he cant even go see his friends ,,
    and what's making me go crazy that hes a big boy ,, i mean hes 21 and cant say no
    he loves his parents so much ,, and he loves me 2
    but it's because he's in college and it's his last semester and if he say no to his parents they will not pay ,, and they will kick him out of the house ,
    so we have just one thing we can try ,, so maybe his parents will be okay with us staying together .
    he's going to tell them who i am because am part christian ,, my mom is christian and my grandma is from there same family and she's christian ,, and my other grandma is also christian it's just my dad he's the muslim ,, and am going to become a christian
    so maybe they will say okay
    i just wanted to share my story ,
    i don't care about anyone ,, and i don't care about what will people think or say ,, mind your own business

    and i wish you luck , and i hope every thing will workout okay 🙂

    • "same here", I'm sorry for you that your faith means so little to you that you would throw it away for a boy. Obviously you were never raised properly as a Muslim or taught the meaning and value of "Laa ilaha il-Allah." You can't be half Muslim or half Christian. They are not genetic traits that you inherit. They are faiths that you choose, and beliefs that you adhere to. Your faith in Allah - if you have it - is the most precious thing in life. It is a gift that Allah gave you, and a test. If you don't respect your faith and fulfill its rights, then you have truly lost.

      Wael Editor

      • As'Salaamu Alaikum sisters
        Wael u r so right about all ur comments Ma Sha' Allah

      • Wael, your way is the very wrong way that most of Muslims use to manipulate and hurt others with the purpose to bring them back to Islam. this is not the way, you don't bring someone back with hate, you bring them back with love and tell them how much Allah wants them to be close to him.... "I am sorry that your faith means so little to you" your judgmental statements will be judged by Allah as well, so be careful what you say.

    • As salamu alaykum, same here,

      You do care about people´s thoughts and opinions because that is the only thing that is moving you to become christian, not your faith or your beliefs, it is the way you think others will receive you or accept you, then you care deeply about others but not for the right reasons.

      You think you are already a grown up woman, act like that then, study both religions and get involved in both of them if your Heart allouds you to do it and then take a decision as a woman, with consciousness of what you are doing,...Build yourself up in right values, this was something your family had to do with you while you were growing up, it is not your fault that noone taught you the Straight Path, but from now on will be your responsibility because I am awakening you to your Responsibility as a spiritual human being and specially as muslim.

      To leave home with a man is not a way to solve problems, to go a step more without knowing what you are risking neither, have lot of things to learn, take your time to become the woman you are called to be, insha´Allah.

      You are plenty of energy, give yourself the opportunity of flourishing all the Beauty and Wisdom that you have in your Heart, Insha´Allah.

      All my Unconditional Love and Respect,


    • Dont change yourself for someone

    • you know i am from Egypt i have the same sad story , now a days i guess that his family try to make him far with me but in good way same like my family !!
      i don't know why it's not allowed i told myself everyday sure Allah know my lover and how good and kind is he why not then ?! and so on
      tears and tears everyday running from me and him 🙁
      i love him i think he is the only truth in my life
      but also i love my family i love Allah i love my religion how hard is love !
      yesterday we told each other to be friends but How ?!!!
      love never can't convert to friendship
      if i will grow old without marry it's okay with me and i will close my heart make him the secret of my life ....

      • do ,

        What you are doing is haraam and need to stop immediately .
        Also a man and woman can't be friend and communicate as it is not allowed .

        • cannot communicate? are you a male or female? because ei think you just communicated with the other gender! communication is not the right word, males and females communicate all the time we live, we go to stores, we go to work, we go to school, males and females are together in all these places. there is no way to no communicate

          • I understand your position(s) on this subject. Although religion and the Quran are often cited during these discussions, my experience and observations also lead me to understand that a lot of this is also cultural. While many will cite how the Quran forbids unmarried male/female relationships, let alone unnecessary communication, too many Muslims are silent on the abuses children are subjected to by their parents in the pursuit of protecting their chastity. Thus, you see many parents forcing their daughters to men they don't love and absolutely cannot love. Forced marriage is haram, and it is so wrong that they can be annulled through Sharia. The woman with whom I fell in love is Arab Muslim and was forced to marry at a young age to a disgusting man, physically and non-physically. The fact is that she was raped from the first time she had sex with her "husband." She's now divorced, and she still sobs when she talso and out how she made it clear she didn't want to marry and sleep with this man. The man is not only physically unattractive, but he smokes (haram), gambles (hararm), lies, and disrespected (haram ) his wife. Now, as Wali, how did her father allow such a man to marry his daughter and take her virginity? Quite frankly, she would have been better off meeting a nice guy and eventually marrying him when ready. I eventually converted to Islam, and much of what I read in the Quran conflicts with the things I mentioned happened to this woman. She had to leave this man. I'm Black, so this is also a problem because her father is racists. His son married a Black woman, but he never spoke to his Black daughter-in-law because of his racism. These are two young people who took years to get to know each, and I'm sure this man's behavior toward his son's wife hurt the marriage. His son divorced the Black woman, and the proud father took him to the Middle East to marry a stranger. How is that better? It isn't. The woman I love is a nice woman, but her forced (rape) marriage has psychologically messed her up. The harsh treatment she experienced has truly damaged her, and did now she seeks all the things of which she was deprived-her youth-and unfortunately now falls for men who lie. She no longer wants to marry me, an honest man. The responses I see to your posts is not any and all communication between unmarried men and women are highly haram and that marriage is the solution. Marriage can be the solution, but loveless, often forced marriage to a total stranger is not the solution. Based on the misery I've seen with the woman I love and others I know, forced marriage and rape are way worse than communicating to get to know each other to see whether there's true love and d csring.

  4. God created love, not religion. We humans created religion. Christians and Muslims worship the same God. But they have different views about religion. That's all. If you're sure that you really love him and he really loves you, then go for it and marry each other. And its better for kids, because unlike other kids, they'll have a chance to choose their religion! The parents are the only problem. Its not that their opinion matters but its because they're the ones who raised us and scarified for us all these years .. that's why we have to respect what they say. I don't know how to solve this parents problem because Am going through the same thing. Good luck <3

    • Reem, this is not correct. Allah says in the Quran, "Surely the religion with Allah is Islam." And though it's basically true that Muslims and Christians worship the same God, Christians have wandered far from the true path by also worshiping Jesus (pbuh); many also worship Mary, or their saints. This is a terrible falsehood. It is an abomination in Allah's sight and we must protect our children from it.

      Following a religion is not a light or meaningless matter like which football team you prefer. We can't just cast our children to the wind and say, follow whatever religion you like, true or false, it's all the same. If we do that then we have failed them and we have failed as Muslims.

      By the way, I think you mean that our parents sacrificed for us, not scarified us. Scarified means they scarred us (and some have done that too, no doubt).

      Wael Editor

      • True, some parents have emotionally scarred their children.

      • Spoken like a true Muslim.
        Dear Mr. Wael
        I am dealing with such a heart breaking situation (heart breaking for me)
        I am a Muslim, but do not practice it and my faith is not strong, but I am using my head in this situation.
        I also have been with a Christian man for 4 years, in love with him very much (and am still a virgin, not just because of fear from God, but I believe some part of me wants to be a true muslim and not lie to myself, but I just don't have the motivation to do so!)
        At the present moment, my Christian man wants to rush things and get married, and propsed he sign a 'paper' to show my parents and family that he became a muslim, and he told me he will never be a true muslim because he doesn't believe in it .
        That would fool them, but I am so confused, I am trying so hard to think with my head and not just my heart
        Im afraid if I let him go, I would have lost a chance of true happiness, but I also think, if I marry him, the little problems we tend to ignore now will be much bigger later
        Please advise me

        Thank you!

        • I'm going through the same thing presently. I really want to be a better Muslim and I know now that I cannot marry him. But I'm afraid that he'll be so hurt if I end things and I keep praying for him to be led on the straight path. I don't think him just signing a paper would change the way you feel, it may fool your parents but you would always know the truth and do you really want your husband to lie to your parents in such a big way? Sigh* I realise your post was written in 2011, I know 2 years has passed, if you found a way past this, can you let me know please? I would really like some advice from someone who's been in my shoes.

          • There is no way "past" it. You simply have to bite the bullet and end the relationship. It's called doing the right thing. Doing the right thing is not always easy, and it's often hard.


          • Allah said: "Indeed, you cannot guide whom you love, But Allah guides whom He wills and He knows best those who are guided" (Quran 28:56)

            Therefore as bro Wael said, you have to do the right thing and that is ending this relationship as you are disobeying Allah to a high extent where instead you have to FEAR Allah and obey Him. You will not get success and blessings in your life by disobeying Allah and receiving His wrath and curse. Take heed before Allah's punishment comes on you and you will not be helped by anyone.

          • @peanut -

            You should focus more on increasing your imaan. Start learning more about Islam from authentic sources and practice it.

            a link for you to learn more about Islam inshaAllah abdurrahman(dot)org/ [replace (dot) by . in this link and paste and search in your browser]

            Tell that guy that Allah does not allow you to marry a non muslim man.
            Stop communicating with him completely. don't let the Shaitan play with you.

            Tell that guy if he wants to marry you then he has to accept Islam by his heart (you should not force him to do it for your sake).

            Ask him to learn about Islam.

            a link for him to learn about Islam inshaAllah Invitation2Islaam(dot)wordpress(dot)com [replace (dot) by . in this link and paste and search in your browser]

            If you be patient now and seek the help of Allah then things would be fine inshaAllah.
            But if you be impatient and disobeyed Allah by carrying on with this relationship further then you may easily ruin your life. Your life could be a mess. Allah knows best.

            Fear Allah.

            I hope you love Allah more than anybody else. So leave him for the sake of Allah.

            Remember that, Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will compensate him with something better than it.
            May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

        • Have you spoken to your boyfriend about Islam to see maybe he has some interest in the religion and maybe build up on that, if this is a big issue for the two of you it would be better if he was aware of the faith and possibly convert depending on how he feels about it

          if everything else is oki in the relationship and this is the only barrier then compromise but by compromising it means he needs to not you hahaha

          sometime it does work out, just make sure no one feels pressured and it should be taken as baby steps always remind your boyfriend how this is something that will help overall in life

          My boyfriend converted a few months ago and we are working together to teach him how to pray and live a happy life together we plan to get engaged soon so from my point of view yes it is prohibited to have a boyfriend but sometimes it just happens it doesnt mean its correct but hopefully Allah can forgive me for the choice i made, i can only better myself and i believe it has happened already the biggest step is converting and thats something that has come and passed.

          girl please remember to remind your boyfriends to research and pace themselves dont do anything that will make the other resent you

    • "God created love".

      This is popular modern Christian ideology, completely false and created by deviant Christians who have raised Issa (pbuh) to the level of divinity. The children won't be choosing anything, actually they would end up chossing nothing, be confused & and probably end up atheist because they are disillusioned by religion.

      Problems come in when parents live through their children & are adamant on forcing their opinions on children either by force, emotional blackmail or manipulation.

    • I wish I can know what happened between you guys.. Did you hold on to each other or give up your once in a life time love, I'm a mess right now. He wants to take me and we run away together but I don't know what to do.. Should I follow my heart or should I follow my mind!

      • Make a compromise with them both. Have your demands and Know what you will need and what you are willing to do and not do, when you go, if he stays, instead of you both leaving.

  5. Enas, As-salamu alaykum,

    You say that religion has caused nothing but wars and hate. SubhanAllah, I totally disagree with you. Just last week I participated in a Muslim-sponsored event called Humanitarian Day. We set up booths in a poor part of town and gave away food supplies, clothing, shoes, school supplies for kids, and we even had three Muslim doctors doing free basic medical screenings... As a Muslim I have found that Islam gives me guidance and hope, and excellent guidelines for living my life. It allows me to lay a spiritual foundation for my family, while my connection with Allah makes me feel whole. The brotherhood and sisterhood of Muslims is a beautiful thing as well. I have so many friends that I have made through the local Muslim community center, and they come from all races and nationalities, which is something you only find in Islam.

    You say that girls have to live like slaves. I have a girl, and she is certainly not a slave. And when I look at the non-Muslim society and I see teenage girls going around almost naked, getting pregnant, using drugs, and generally confused, I thank Allah that I am Muslim and that my daughter is growing up as a Muslim as well.

    Your claim that Christians are classier is ridiculous. I have deleted so many hateful, insulting comments that have been left by some Christians on this website. Of course other Christians have left polite and thoughtful comments here. People are people, some are good and some are bad, regardless of religion.

    It seems that you had a bad experience with your parents, and because of that you have extended your disapproval and contempt to all Muslims. That's very sad.

    Wael Editor

  6. I have this problem too. I really love my bf. But, why does Allah created Christian for Isa, Jesus to convey, if only Islam is right? I believe all of us pray to the God that created us. So that's Allah in Islamic term. I want to marry my bf :(. Its not only for fun. Why does Allah created non-muslims if we muslims can't be with them? It seems unfair cos men can marry up to 4 women and a woman can marry and tied to only one guy? That is totally strange. We are all humans, but why does it seems like God is bias on sexuality? It seems like God like men better. Why created woman then? I am born in a Muslim family, if a person is born in a non-muslim family, and he is so good, so nice, in the end, will he go to hell?that is unfair. Islam is created 600 years after Christian, so does that mean every single human being that live before that will go to hell? I am totally confused, seriously. Why does Allah created other religion,- Samawi Religion like Jewish, Christian, and 4 books, Taurat, Zabur, Quran and Bible if only one of them is right? I heard that the contents of other holy books has been changed and only Quran is confirmed by Allah will not change till the end of the day. But, why don't Allah confirm other books will not be changed too? Does God make mistakes? I believe that he can foresee the future, like other religions are fighting bout religion. If God is so powerful, why don't he make peace? If all that he wants? Does God make mistakes? If he make mistake, then I choose not to believe in God.

    • D, you have a LOT of misconceptions and misunderstandings about Islam. I see that you are confused about many things. If you want to register and submit your questions as a separate post, we'll try to answer Insha'Allah. Only if you are truly interested in getting answers. It almost sounds like your mind is made up and you don't really want the truth because it would not be convenient for your lifestyle.

      Wael Editor

    • I too had many questions when I was young. the shaitan played with my mind a lot, same thing he is doing with you now.

      Being born in a Muslim family I did not know much about Islam, I was around 16 and I did not even know how to pray properly. Allah knows best.

      Alhamdulillah now I have learnt many things and I am still learning.

      You should start learning about Islam from authentic sources, inshaAllah your questions will be answered.

      If you are unable to understand something about Islam just be patient. Tell to yourself that I believe in Allah. Allah is the All-Mighty, the All-Wise.

      ask Allah to help you. keep making dua.

      a link for you to learn more about Islam inshaAllah abdurrahman(dot)org/ [replace (dot) by . in this link and paste and search in your browser]

      I have come to know that Islam is the truth. If i leave this path then I will go astray. Then there wont be any goodness in this life or in the hereafter.

      Alhamdulillah. Islam has really changed my life.
      you should start learning more about Islam. Let us know your progress.

      May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

  7. I am astonished seriously about all that av just read,but I must say it was a miracle I had to stumble upon this site cos I just am so informed now about how much people are struggling with this religious issue of *am a muslim,he's a x'tian,am a x'tian,she's a muslim*........maashallah maashallah..............may Allah guide us to the straight path all the time Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnn,this also made me aware of how many people out there have a great deal of misconception about Islam....may Allah strengthen the FAITHS of ALL practicing muslims and may He guide us to the motivating factors to pray and practice our beautiful religion of Islam.......Another Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnn!!!!

  8. Hi

    I'm christian woman falling inlove with the muslim man,we are not married yet but he preposed me over the phone that will I marry him.So I don't know how serious he is but I really love him.We always send each other some romentic SMS but now he seemes distant and I'm the only one whose phoning him for the last one day.And he started giving me excuses.
    I'm a south African and he is a Cameroonian.Please help

    • @Andy and other non muslims reading this.

      As you have been here

      I would like to tell you about Islam

      We Muslims worship Allah - the only one GOD who created you and me and all that exists.
      The GOD of Adam, Noah , Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Muhammed (peace be upon them) and all.

      why did Jesus(peace be upon him) the son of Mary (may Allah be pleased with her) came to this earth?
      Jesus came to teach people about ALLAH. He came to teach people to worship none but ALLAH alone without associating any partners with HIM.

      Allah says
      “And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)”
      {Quran 51:56}

      Allah alone deserves to be worshiped.
      HE has no father, mother, brother, sister or son.
      HE is not like us.
      There is no one like HIM.

      Allah says,

      Say, "He is Allah , [who is] One,
      "Allah-us-Samad (The Self-Sufficient Master, Whom all creatures need, He neither eats nor drinks).
      He neither begets nor is born,
      "And there is none co-equal or comparable unto Him."

      (Quran 112: 1-4)

      what is the purpose of this life? just study, earn, marry, children and die or there is more to it?

      Do you know that this life is temporary?? and we will die and will be raised up again and there is going to be a day of judgement?

      Please Research about Islam. See how it makes sense inshaAllah.

      I want you to be saved from the hell fire and enter Heaven so I invite you to Islam.

      Here are some links for you where you can learn more about Islam inshaAllah
      -> quran(dot)come
      - > Invitation2Islaam(dot)wordpress(dot)com
      replace above (dot) by . and paste and search in your address bar
      May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

  9. Dear brothers and sisters,

    I am a girl coming from a muslim dad and christian mother, I think i am a lucky girl cz i had to see,experience and practice both relegion: what made me choose my true path and own believes. I think that children coming from'mixed' parents have wider visions and horizons, even if at an early stage they might be lost but this will guide them to choose the relegion and thoughts they blv in and at the same time be more tolerant toward other people thoughts and relegion.
    Diversity is a bless.

  10. Salaam mirym and to every future brothers and sisters whom may read this,
    I strongly disagree with the comment above, having mixed religions is a dangerous combination, it can delude a child and cause confusion. Mirym was very blessed by Allah swt that is if she became muslim while growing up from parents of diffrent religions. I had a same upbringing my mom was christian, dad muslim, my dad went overseas and my mom took full care of me,as an obedient child I began to know of christianity and prayed to Jesus only astagfurallah, I didnt even pray to god as much as I did to jesus. It made me feel empty and created so much fear within me. Finally my dad came back to me when I was at the age of fifteen and my aunt with my dad taught me islam, alhamduallah I accepted islam after struggling with letting go of the brainwash, because praying to prophet Jesus was all I ever had and knew my mom had instilled in me from going to church. I had never felt such peace esp when I touched the quran for the first time, alhamduallah writing this remebering makes me tear up for the gratefulness I feel. Brothers and sisters, fear Allah and the last day, dont let shaitan fool you with falsness, he promising nothing only decieves while Allah swt promises everything and an afterlife, jannah
    May Allah make the ummah strong and give them pure mates to abide in

    • Amin
      I am also from a mixed family. I started up a ls a christian. Then a muslim/christian if I can say it that way. I am now a muslim and I have never felt so peaceful. True that I am still not the ideal muslim I want to be but I am trying. Islam is an amazing religions. To the sisters who want to let go of Islam in the name of "love", please do me a favor. Learn about your religion, read the Quran, pray and fast. Give it a shot, build your eman. When you do that, you will realize no man is worth your amazing religion.

      For long, i have thought i could marry a christian. After all, i am half christian as i would tell myself. There is no half in religion. Now that I am working on my Eman, i just wish for a pious muslim man to marry. I want a role model to my son and someone i wouldn't have to worried about bothering him when I wake up for fajr. I want someone who will not think i am crazy to fast (i had a college friend who was interested in me asked me why i wasn't going to the cafeteria to eat. And i told him i was fasting as part of my religion. He thought i was crazy and told me he wouldn't starve himself for that. And it was crazy to do that). If Allah (S.W) has prohibited us from marrying non-muslim men it is because He knows a pious sister would not be able to practice her religion living with a non -muslim man. There is alcohol and other things that Islam prohibits. You may think this doesn't apply to you because you're not that practising. Let me tell that as you grow older, and start looking for the meaning of life, when you start worrying about death. You'll get closer to the deen, without anyone pushing you. Notice that there are much more older ladies in churches and mosque than they are younger ones. Because we get closer to our faith when we get older. I have aunts who married non-muslims and have now regrets because their children have no religion and they are about their grandchildren and their children ' hereafter. So sisters. Dont be blind by infatuation, it doesn't last forever. Allah (S.W), on the other side, has been protecting you everyday of your life. You are healthy, have food on the table, and clothes on your back. You have two hands, so which of the favors of Allah (S.W) would you deny?

  11. * sorry I meant when I was fifteen. not my dad haha

  12. Assalamualaikum sister,

    Simple, make a deal with him. Study each others' religion. You learn the Bible, he learns the Quran. Make Doa for the both of you. Reading the Bible will reinforce your belief in Islam, and the Quran will lead him to the Truth, Inshallah.

    My wife & I were exactly in your position and this was exactly what my wife and i did and Alhamdullilah, I cannot express how much i appreciate and am grateful to have found the Truth, Islam is my life now.

    May Allah grant you both to the Straight Path and lead each other to Jennah. Ameen.


    • Timothy, I'm glad it worked out for you, Alhamdulillah, but in general this is not a sound approach. It's equally possible that the husband will never accept Islam, and the wife will find herself struggling between her conscience and her circumstances.

      Wael Editor

      • Well brother, please correct if i'm wrong when i say, we have no control over all things especially when it comes to beliefs. Only Allah has the ability to lift the veil of people from ignorance. We can only do the best within our incomparable abilities. Based on that, shouldn't we use the best tools available, best tools which are provided directly from Allah - the Holy Quran. That's mightily the difference between the Truth from all other religions. The words of the Truth will touch the hearts of those who sincerely seek for the Truth, Inshallah, with doa. That's putting our beliefs and our God-given intellect on the table.
        What else is better than utilising the tools from The One who created us, right?

        In addition to that, have you read the Bible, brother? Anybody with a sound mind who reads it thoroughly, would reject the the Bible! For intance, one horrendous example from the countless, would be when Prophet Lot (Lut) (pbuh) was described having sexual relations with his own daughter in the Old Testament. May Allah show His Wrath upon the fabricators and those who give consent!

        I think that should be enough for both the couple to begin their journey to Jennah.
        Inshallah Ameen.

        What do you think?

  13. Salaamun Alaikum Timothy,

    I hope this email finds you well with the blessings of the Almighty (swt). Masha'Allah you seem to have lots of knowledge about Christianity. I'm currently trying to bring a Christian friend towards Islam, however, he's a devout Baptist. He speaks a lot about the concept of having a relationship with God being more important than following a specific set of rules, for example: praying, fasting, etc. He says that the Holy Spirit, who I assume, for him means God, astaghfirullah, speaks to him, and that during church services, there are things called "alter calls" where God speaks through the priest or other people in the Church. What is your take on this? How would you reason with him on this? Just looking for some insight.


    P.s. Just for clarification here, this is purely an information based question, there are no hidden or personal agendas.

    • Wa'alaykumsalam,

      'Altar calls' is unbiblical just like many other christian acts.

      Secondly, an advise to you sis 'muslima', know that Shaytan is ever present and can turn a good situation into a very nasty monstorous one in a short time using da'wah as disguise and you're dealing with a kafir. Oh, how many muslimas have unfortunately fallen into grave sins which initiated with 'da'wah', surely you're underestimating shaytan.

      Da'wah is not an easy job. Just because some muslims pray 5 times, read Quran, fasts, give zakah etc they may be terrible when it comes to da'wah. Scholars of Islam took years and years and years to study Islam and then started da'wah. Surely we laymen can only make a fool of ourselves when non muslim makes an arguement and we tell him/her to hold on for a day and google search the net for information etc on their beliefs and how to refute them with Islamic teachings and reasonings. So before you give da'wah to people, you must have tremendous amount of knowledge about Islam, reasoning without Islam and in your case, you need biblical knowledge too without which the non muslim would easily refute each and every arguement you make for example, without refering to the Quran, can you refute the trinity concept sis ? And if your eman is low, you might get influcend by biblical teachings thus you might become suspicious of Islamic teachings when non muslim bring something interesting up or if he tries to prove that Quran contradicts, thats it, you're gone if you lack in tafsir knowledge. And it is very possible that, over time, you might get emotionally attach to him or he might do you worst etc etc I think you need to learn about Islam first like give yourself da'wah because muslimas are forbidden to have non mahram friends whether muslim or not. Period.
      About that non-muslim guy you're dealing with, guide him to a local masjid or Islamic centres or let him visit some knowledgable brothers within your community or give him some Islamic lectures videos or books or any authentic Islamic websites. There are many many ways to give da'wah to a non muslim and you giving da'wah to a male non mahram is not one of them and you are prohibited to do so. Its a sin.
      So your first duty as a muslim is to fear and obey Allah and His messenger.

      Remember that only Allah guides. No matter how much you try to bring him to Islam, you won't succeed as you said he is a devout baptist making him more knowledgeable and firm in faith in his sect but one thing is sure, you're only aiding shaytan with you intermingling with A MAN.

      Take heed.

    • Wa alaikum salam dear sister,

      It is my pleasure to help with the best of my knowledge.

      In Christianity there are many unbiblical rituals and alter calls is one of them.

      Christians do stand by the rule of equality. However one major confusion in this is that upon confessing of sin, they have Priests / Deacons / Pastors taking intermediary roles between you and God.

      What generally happens in the confession box is this - the 'sinner' goes in telling the priest his sins and the priest will instruct him to do a number of praises (like zkir) depending on the weight of their sins committed. Are these priests not human? Who gave them the right to possess such powers and authority? This in Islam is unnacceptable, this is Shirk! God has mentioned these people in the Holy Quran;

      {Q9:31} They have taken their rabbis and their monks /priests - as well as the Christ, son of Mary - for their lords beside God, although they had been bidden to worship none but the One God, save whom there is no deity: the One who is utterly remote, in His limitless glory, from anything to which they may ascribe a share in His divinity.

      Simple, there is no shared divinity between the Priests / Deacons / Pastors / Popes / Monks / Rabbis / the Learned etc. but this only lies with the One God. SubahanAllah!

      The concept of the Holy Spirit has been entirely fabricated primarily to delude Christians away from last Prophet of God, Muhammad (pbuh). Acknowledging the fact that there is an organisation which has a self-imposed right to amend / change the words of the Bible as and when they think suits - ie. In the Bible, Jesus (pbuh) informed his followers not to be afraid for after his death, 'the Holy Spirit' will descend and will be carrying my message and will be a guide for all.

      Plus you might already know that the word 'Muhammadim' is indeed present in the Bible in Hebrew (one of the Bible's authentic written language) and there is a controversial debate over that matter. It's found in Song of Solomon, (5:16). But this was lost when the Bible was massively translated to English.

      There are many important things we should learn & ponder upon and not fall into ignorance.

      Each of us has an independant relationship to God, regardless of race, language or wordly / monetary status. We are all equal and only measured by our faith and deeds by Allah alone. For us believers to strengthen our relationship with God, we fast, we pray, we perform Haj, we do good deeds, even the simplest of things such as picking up litter to care for the Earth, or greeting our neighbour with a sincere smile acknowledging another creation of God, all with the pure intention of doing everything for God.

      When i embraced Islam, i felt i found a treasure that i was dying to share with my Christian family and close friends. But time and time again, i fell flat on my face. I learned from these experiences and i learned from teachers that only God guides and now i truly understand. I never forgot what a teacher told me, he was a former Christian Priest who is now a marvelous Islamic Speaker, Dr omar Zaid.
      - "When God throws you an opportunity, then you throw. But for now, you show them that you have the Nur (light) through example."

      The best Da'wa is through example. We simply focus on ourselves to be the best amongst the righteous and learn the beautiful ways of our prophets, and everything else will follow suit, people around us will see and observe the miraculous change in us.

      There is so much to cover here and i do have my own flaws so i urge you to do your own research, it is our responsibility to attain knowledge to the best of our abilities. We live in the age where information is within our fingertips. Learn from reading, from teachers, and always seek guidance from God through prayers. My Do'a for you sister.

      I hope this shed some light over your doubts.

      May Allah guide us all to the Straight Path as we seek to be better Believers through all the days of our lives. Ameen.

      • Greetings Mr. Timothy,

        I know I'm 2 years late, but I pray to God you read this message. I have a lot of questions from you regarding your conversion to Islam and your relationship with your Muslim wife. I actually wish she was on this thread too. I want to ask for a great favor from you and your wife. Is there any way you two could chat with me via email & not on this website. I am asking for this because you have been on both sides of the fence and your wife has been there with you every step of the way. I am in a haze not about my religion but about my life with those who I care about and you seem like a bright and informed individual, I just want some insights with some tolerance and open mindedness. If you and your wife would chat with me, I would forever be Grateful.
        P.s. I'm not even sure if you'll see this so I'd rather not provide my email now since it's the internet.. but if you see my message Please reply and I will provide an email, but again I'd like to emphasize that I'd rather your wife to be involved in the group message.

        All the Best & God Bless.

    • I'm a christian boy and i had a muslim girl,we love each other.
      I'm open minded about religion and i know that a muslim woman cannot marry a non muslim man so in order to "take this further" he must accept Islam as his complete way of life.i lived in Malaysia n she is a malaysian-indonesian "mixed".My parents don't want us to be togather.i love my parents n i love her too.
      my parents don't want me to have any relationship with any muslim girls.i know her family and i treat both younger sisters like my own sisters.We are both confused so i visited some christian and muslim website so that i can ask for help.Please don't judge me.i just want some advise..peace to be upon you.

      • Hi Joshua,

        I think your family has a concern which is driven by Christian faith. In the same way, as a Muslim, no girl is allowed to have any relationship with a non Muslim man.

        Christianity did come from the same God as Islam, but when the Gospel given to Jesus peace be upon him was distorted and people began to disobey Allah. They changed the word of God to match their own desires.

        Then Allah sent prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and gave him the Quran in stages. It took over 23 years for the Quran to be Revealed to him by angel Gabriel, who brough the Word of Allah with him.

        This final word - the Quran, is the unchangeable and protected word of God and Prophet Muhammad is His Final Messenger, who came to affirm what Jesus brought - that there is only One God.

        I encourage you to learn more about Islam, learn the life of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, the Islamic view of Jesus, etc., in order to prepare yourself for the hereafter, when Jesus will deny that he ever asked anyone to worship him and we (the nation of prophet Muhammad, which includes "you" and every human being living today) will affirm that Jesus never called anyone to worship him. Allah Said:

        فَكَيْفَ إِذَا جِئْنَا مِنْ كُلِّ أُمَّةٍ بِشَهِيدٍ وَجِئْنَا بِكَ عَلَىٰ هَٰؤُلَاءِ شَهِيدًا
        So how [will it be] when We bring from every nation a witness and we bring you, [O Muhammad] against these [people] as a witness?

        So, Joshua, study Islam and look at its beauty. If you like it and become a Muslim, worshipping Allah and following His final Prophet, you can consider marrying a Muslim girl. If you want our help in anything, I request you to login to our website and submit a new post and we will help you, God Willing.

        Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  14. I know its hard. The only way is for him to convert and become a muslim. U must slowly inroduce him to islam. if he refuse to convert, eventhough its painful, u must let go. some of cousins have married people who used to be from another religion. before they get married, the person did convert and now they are living happilly togther. hope it goes well for u. if u are fated, hopefully u guys will be together. just make sure u guide him well

    • Aslaam brothers and sisters

      I had an arrange marrige from when I was 18yrs and now I'm 24, my husband has been abusive from day1.. Iv kept quiet thinking he gona change, iv got a beautiful baby to... He doest provide for us even tho we live together still beaten me few times and drinks, I keep letting him come home for the sake of my parents they are againts a divorce.. Iv been chatting to a frnd who is a christian who I have know fallen in love with iv never met up with him and iv known him for years.. He's always been there for me only 1 who understands me where as my own muslim family don't care about me they say its normal for a muslim girl to get beaten up for no reason I'm sick of it.. I never do anthing wrong I'm 25 and still ask my parents before I leave my house iv never had a bf all my life and now I'm really inlove with this one person iv told him he said he's willing to convert 2day for me, I know its wrong I am married but I can't live my life with an abusive man I try and do everthing to make him happy but it never seems work please I need some advice.. I have no love in my heart for my husband iv never had but iv tried many times to make things work and iv given up

      • nazia, what you are doing is wrong. If your husband is abusive, leave him and get a divorce. But to be chatting with this other man - a Christian no less - is totally wrong and improper.

        Wael Editor

        • We chat clean, how's family/work? Weather n life nothing more... I know it wrong I'm married and in love with some1 a non-muslim.. I knw its haraam if he coverts to islam would that be any good? Or would I still not be able to marry him?.... I keep getting forced to stay with my husband, there's no relationship between us I do try to make things work out but there is no use at all.. I just want to live a peaceful life nothing more.. These pakistani where I'm from do nothing but, argue and hurt one another... Islaam is about love n peaceand I'm never going to find that between thoes ppl who do nothing but judge

          • I keep getting forced to stay with my husband, there's no relationship between us I do try to make things work out but there is no use at all.. I just want to live a peaceful life nothing more.. These pakistani where I'm from do nothing but, argue and hurt one another... Islaam is about love n peaceand I'm never going to find that between thoes ppl who do nothing but judge

      • I advise u get divorced and make choices for ur self hen ,array the other guy but until then please stay away from the haram sister

  15. So Enas whats your condition now. keep us updated.

  16. As-salamu Alaykum,

    I found this website via my own research, and would like to share my experience In shaa Allah. I never expected myself to be in a situation similar to this. I am a Muslim female, coming from a very understanding family. 2 years ago I met my christian bf, who is black. We hit it off immediately due to his interest in Islam; he has always respected our religion & does not believe the negative stereotypes the media portrays regarding Islam. Rather, he loves the idea of modesty, the value women have in Islam, the respect; something he has not been used to seeing with women around him whilst growing up. I knew us having a relationship was wrong, but i enjoyed teaching him about it. Then, we found ourselves falling for each other; here we are 2 years later. We have never allowed ourselves to be alone in such an environment where we would commit such an act prohibited in Islam. Now we want to marry, and i have told him this cannot happen unless he becomes Muslim. I also told him this has to be a decision wholeheartedly made by him, to follow Islam as his way of life; not just for my sake. He wants to read the Qur'an, and would like me to help him. when Uni finishes for him (2-3 weeks) he is also going to read into our religion more. Is there anything else i can do to help, and what are your views & opinions?

    I would appreciate if people did not leave negative/hurtful comments upon reading this. I would really like some help & advice from someone with more knowledge regarding this topic, and am willing to take everything on-board In shaa Allah.

    Jazak'Allah khayrun.

    • hanamoona, wa alaykum as-salam. The bottom line is that your relationship with this man is improper in every way. You have carried on a relationship with a non-Muslim man and fallen in love with him, all of which is haram, and now you trying to manipulate the situation to a satisfactory resolution by pressuring him into become Muslim. If he sincerely desires to learn about Islam then he can do so from his local masjid, or Muslim student association, or from books/online. But you should cease your contact with him and examine your lack of sincerity in this matter.

      Wael Editor

  17. Assalamulaykum Brothers and sisters

    I am a muslim girl frm birth but quiet naive.If u marry a christian or a muslim isnt that qadar or destny of Allah i should say i think Allah knws best and he knws the reason he made u fall in love with the muslim or Christian just one of my ignorance hope samone can,tell wht it really is

  18. hy, my name is sajid i'm christian and i want to merry with a girl but she is muslim and she is nit intrsted too but i madley love her what should i do?

    • sajid, the only way you can marry her is by converting to Islam. Even then there is, of course, no guarantee that she or her family will accept you. All in all, I would say that she is not a likely candidate for you, and you should look for someone else.

      Wael Editor

    • I think u should convert for ur owns sake and for her don't leave her or see her unless you r a Muslim guy

  19. I'm Muslim girl but my boyfriend a Christian. I love him so much we want to marry but we don't know how to work about that. Can I marry him?

    • You cannot marry him unless he becomes Muslim. Otherwise you should break off your relationship with him entirely.

      Wael Editor

  20. I'm a muslim girl currently in a relationship with a christian boy. I've had so many hardships in my life and due to a lot of things going wrong in my life i've been sad and depressed and this is when i met my boyfriend. He helped me get out of the dark hole i was in and made me genuinely happy for the first time. I never intended for things to get serious between us but we're at a point where we're in love with each other wanting to take things further. I have mentioned that I cannot marry a christian boy however he did not say anything. I have no idea how to bring up the subject again and tell him how i feel about us getting serious. I do want to marry him because he is so good to me but in the right way and have no idea how to go about his situation

  21. Yes it is true that Muslim women cannot marry a non Muslim man. and trust me it is hard. I dated a Christian and I loved him very much. forget that he is Christian, as a person he was everything a women could ask for. but you know, every Muslim girl should think really hard, if she wants to marry a Christian man or anyone other than Muslim, she's giving up her religion. for example: the children will be born as Christians, her beliefs are different then his beliefs. In Ramadan lets say, she will be the only one fasting, no one else. she wont feel the Ramadan spirit. I'm talking out of personal experience. I'm not saying ALL Christians are alike so please do not take this personally. but hey if your parents don't mind you taking a Christian than so be it. Talk through everything, come to a conclusion and marry him and live your life. But if your parents forbid it, than think twice before you do anything you regret. Your life or anyone else's life won't end for a person.

  22. Hi, i realize this post is quite old but I came accross it. I am a muslim woman with a christian fiancée. Let me tell you from someone with experience that it can most definitely work. You just have to have a deep conversation with that person before you do anything radical.
    I came clean to my parents when I became of age (23) and they clearly told me its us or him. I decided not to choose because how can you choose... i stayed with my parents for a month. But then i realized that my boyfriend never asked me to choose between him and my religion or him and my parents. He wasn't selfish. My parents were the selfish one pushing me to choose. So I told my parents i wouldnt leave him and they kindly told me to leave and I did.
    I had always been unhappy with my family. Not because they did something wrong - they were great parents! But because I never felt like I fit in with them. I felt like an outsider with my own family. But anyways,
    Just to tell you that it CAN work. You can keep your religion and be with someone different. My boyfriend is understanding of my religion he ever tries to fast with me during Ramadan. But as everything complicated somethings gotta give and for me that was my relationship with my father.... just get your priorities straight and think long. But follow your heart. I think that Allah wouldn't have put him in my path if it wasn't

    • Sister, a Muslim woman CANNOT lawfully marry a non-Muslim man. It is prohibited in the Quran. Your marriage would be Islamically invalid and would be a sin.

      YOu say, "I think that Allah wouldn't have put him in my path if it wasn't maktoub." This is flawed reasoning. All kinds of things come in our paths, some of them halal and some haram. Sometimes they are tests to see if we will remain true to our faith, or follow our whims instead. Your parents were looking out for your best interests spiritually. Instead you rejected their sound advice and followed the path of temptation and haram.

      Wael Editor

  23. The holy Quran says that Jesus was Muslim (submitted to God), it means that a good Cristian is also a Muslim. I'm catholic, and I have been reading the Quran during the last months, being open to the word of God. This experience has made me be closer to what God gave me since I came to this world. I'm now a better follower of Jesus, since He was a special messenger, a promoter of love and peace (not only peace), and a promise of God. I am a catholic submitted to God, and I pray for the people who practice the Islam, so then we can be respectful and united as 2 nations who are going to the same kingdom of the most merciful and only one God.

  24. If you love him marry him. Put him before your family and it will most likely work. Don’t let Islam or your parents dictate your life.

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