Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m taking my daughters and leaving my husband….for good?

domestic violence husband father

Domestic Abuse... There's NEVER an excuse! Violence against women has NO PLACE in Islam!

ive been married for about a year and I have twin baby girls. in that year, my husband and I have been through a lot. And he's put me thru a lot...

ive has to deal with physical and mental abuse from when I was pregnant, so much so that I think it's why I went into preterm labor. Every time, my mother in law says to just pretend like it's never happened and stay for the girls. And my husband promises never to do it again. There are periods where everything seems normal and my husband and I get along. he's even affectionate. But then he looses his temper and hits me or punches me. One time he kicked me and I fell off the bed and hit my head on the vanity.

Im ready to go. I'm ready to pack up my girls and go. But what makes it hard is that I love him and the periods of time that are normal give me hope. Today is 4 dec and he hit me 31 nov. he's been so peppy and nice. Like nothing happened. If I bring it up, then he says Im bringing up old things.

i even talked to his mom and she said basically, I need to deal with it, and that my husband promises to change. But he breaks the promise everytime.

I want to leave, I can't take much more. I told my father and he said he would try to help but he doesn't like my husband an de if I leave with my dad's help then I wouldn't be able to go back to my husband if I wanted to. But should I even go back to my husband? Should I leave with the girls for good? Sometimes everything is so normal then he hits me for something stupid or calls me names. It makes it hard to leave when he is so normal.

I love my husband and everyone loves the girls, but I don't think the girls and I should stay.


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8 Responses »

  1. Leave. Now.
    If you were looking for a sign
    Here it is.
    Leave now.

  2. You would be stupid to stay. Loving someone who abuses you teaches your daughters its ok. Do you want them to grow up with mental issues ? Then this will be the way to make sure they have some. If you want to raise healthy muslim girls with a loving home, leave. An abuse free single parent household is a 100x better than an abusive household. Youre not doing them, or yourself any favours.

    • Astar, don't ever again call anyone on this website stupid, or you will be permanently banned. You are dealing with someone who has been physically and mentally abused. Do you think heaping further abuse on her is the right approach? People like this sister need encouragement and support to do the right thing, not to be browbeaten by someone with an attitude of superiority.

      Wael Editor

    • Astar:
      When it comes to giving advice
      You suck at it
      Promise me you'll never work at suicide hotline you will kill at least 20 people that way if you do

  3. Divorce him and report him to the police

  4. It's going to be hard but leave him, do it for your daughters. Your husband loses temper easily. Today he is hitting you and apologises for his mistake but he doesn't learn from it. This is not how you are suppose to treat your wife in Islam. May Allah be with you but what if he loses temper again and something happens to your daughter this time?
    Please don't take risk. Leave him, he may realise his mistake and make up to you and your dad.
    Pray and think wisely. Bless you

  5. assalam alaikum
    hmmm difficult question for me to answer
    so let just say if u can wait a little more longer i mean i know you have suffered enough and you explains that
    you love him also despite his retarded nature and he becomes abusive when is angry and you have two sweet little cute angels who should be groomed in proper islamic and good upbringing so let me tell you another thing if he is abusive have you ever make dua for him that allah give hadayat to him???
    if not now that is the time you should make dua for him may allah give him hadayat
    and also with patience as you tolerate him before just a little more if he abuses you again at any time then leave him and take your sweet daughters to place where you wanted to go.

  6. Run fast!!! I was in an abusive relationship and it only gets worse! You will be teaching your girls that its ok for them to be beat as well! If you dont do it for yourself, do it for them!!

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