My in-laws are creating problem in our marriage financially and emotionally. Please help me.
Assalam O Alaikum,
I have 2 things that are troubling me:
1) I have been married for 3 years now and during all this time, my in-laws take all the money from my husband's earnings even though I don't have a sister in law and all my brother in laws are married. My in-law talk bad about other brothers and they gain sympathy of my husband. I am pregnant and we don't have any savings at all. He only keeps some money for the house, groceries and bills and send all the rest to his parents. Is this right? I am very insecure because our child is on the way and we can't save even if we want to. Why can't men create a balance 🙁
2) My sister-in-law (wife of my brother-in-law) is very proud. She doesn't even talk to me; in fact, she looks at me in a demeaning way. She is rude and very clever. She made her brother's wife leave because of her rude behaviour. Is this true what goes around comes around? She has hurt me so many times.
Please advice,
Suriteh.
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Salaams,
In Islam, male children are obligated not only to care for their own wife and children, but their aging parents as well. If your husband is sending money to his parents with this intention, he is right to do so. As long as he is covering your basic and obligatory needs (food, shelter, clothing) and is able to do so for your child, he is free to use the rest of his funds as he sees fit, as long as he is not spending toward anything haraam. Saving money for later is not an obligation, even though there is some wisdom in doing so. However, money saved can easily be lost in various ways, so in and of itself there is no guarantee that saving will always meet your future needs. That's why Muslims need to always remember that our sustenance comes from Allah only, and we depend on Him to make sure that we have what we need, even if we having nothing more than that. Allah is the only One we can find true security with.
Regarding your sister in law, you can be assured that she, along with all the rest of us, will be treated with justice by Allah either in this world or the next for our choices and actions. However, don't assume this will mean she will have trials or punishments, because you have only had one sort of experience with her and it is Allah who knows her heart truly. If you don't feel inclined to approach her and try to make peace, then be cordial if she is around and try not to worry about what she does. Focus on your own character and who Allah wants you to be. After all, Prophet Muhammad SAWS said, " Shall I tell you who are the best among you? The best of you are those who when seen are a means of Allah being brought to mind." (Al Tirmidhi)
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sister Suriteh
Maybe you should speak to him about this. Point out your concerns about the future. Could it be that maybe he is saving money without your knowledge? It's better to speak to him and find out. Or you could ask him to give you a little every month so that you can put it away for future. Whatever he decides, leave it to him. He is supporting you and taking care of your needs and in the future I'm sure he would do the same. It is normal to get worried but for now you should concentrate on the cute, little baby inside you.
As for your sis-in law, the only advice I can offer you is to stay away from her. Problems would only escalate if you with her. So try your best to avoid her. Hope this helps...
Rumaysa