Islamic marriage advice and family advice

In love but forced to be engaged to someone else


Assalamu alaikum, dear brothers and sisters. I need some help regarding my current circumstances. I have been in love with a guy for the past 4 years, and I know I shouldn't have but well, it happened. We were only 18 back then and couldn't marry, but we are very close now even physically and we are 22. Though we are not involved in zina or anything like that but we have a special bond. We used to hang out and I know that was not permissible and I have been asking Allah for forgiveness for the last year and we both decided to stop seeing each other until we are together and started praying and asking for forgiveness continuously.

Last year the guy talked to his mom, to ask for my hand in marriage, but his sister is unable to get married and she's already 27, and so his mother refused to do so. My parents know about the guy because he dropped me at home once, and they did not agree for it either infact we got scolded and they don't know how much he loves me and my parents are not aware that he had already talked to his parents for me, instead they think he is a fraud. Now my parents have forced me to get engaged to a guy who I do not wish to be with, despite the fact that he is a nice person and everything.

But I still want to be with the guy I love, and he wants to be with me, and he is asking me for a little time like maybe a month so that he can settle down and ask his parents for me again. I am desperate for a solution and I have none. What should I do? How do I manage? Is it permissible is Islam to break the engagement and talk to my parents again for the guy I want to be with? Please help me out.


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3 Responses »

  1. Hi dear, you have to realize that you can not solve any problem by emotion and not taking any action. First you have to figure out if you boy friend really loves you, you better sit down with him one day and have a serious discussion, Ask him if he is ready to marry you. Then if he he ready for you , talk to your mom in details . Tell your mom that your are getting older and you want to marry this guy. , and move forward.

  2. Walaikum salam sister, I strongly believe you should listen to your mom. If the guy you love, really loved you then he would do whatever it takes to marry you, but in this case he's scared of his own mother. You should marry the guy your mother has suggested because he could be the right one, your mother wouldn't get you married to a guy that's not right for you. Arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages as people tend to get bored of their spouse(in love marriages) and this could lead to divorce. And ALLAH (SWT) hates divorces! if you have a arranged marriage you don't know the guy so after marriage you can explore each other and your marriage would last longer as you both would make it work for the sake of your parents. Whereas in love marriages you know the guy already and after you get married to him the would be no spice as you've already done everything. So sister i recommend you take my advice and get married to the guy your mother chose and get over your love because trust me you'll find love in your fiance one day.

  3. Sister do marriage with your parents wish and you will get the benefits from ALLAH blessed

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