IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice

Assalamalikum, I have a question regarding love and marriage and Islam, and also I am seeking advice.

Last year, . I was working at a local restaurant. . I met and fell in love with a man, although he was a non-muslim.. .  I have to say something in my defence, he was extremely nice to me when I was going through a hard time..  I did not encourage his advances, . in fact I did all I could to show him that although I am his friend, we can not go anywhere..  Then I quit, went through a whole lot of crazy business that I can't describe because this post will get too long..  The short of the long involves jinns, stress and bad health, which may have been mental..  I'm not sure.

The problem is, after I had quit, I realised I really loved this man and I wanted to marry him but my mother and my aunt and basically everyone was against it..  I know that in Islam, a woman cannot marry a non muslim and you have to have a guardians permission, and I never asked my father, but isn't it through God that I met him?

I did not ask to meet him nor was I looking for a marriage partner..  After meeting him I realised I need one and although after I quit, he made no effort to contact me, I can't stop thinking about him, or the others I worked with for that matter..  I feel cursed.

None of this was my fault, then why is this happening?.  Now, I don't know what to do..  Part of me doesn't WANT to forget about about this man because,.  he was the first..  I suppose I did not know this man very well, a big problem being we are from different cultures, the bigger problem is he is a non-muslim, and even bigger that he obviously does not care about me anymore since he did not make an effort to contact me.

I'm very upset nowdays..  Everyday,.  I decide to make a conscious effort NOT to think about him, but I can't help wishing and praying that something works out..  This is being unrealistic, I know, but I can't help it.
Also,.  I want to get married - fast, but I dont want to marry just anyone.

And right now, . I don't even know what I'm asking you for - prayer perhaps that my obsession is not unhealthy and that things work out for me..  If you have any sort of advice you can give me,.  I would appreciate it.

Do you think, that I should tell my mother my firm decision to get married and let her choose someone for me? . Or should I wait and keep praying, because there's no one I'd rather be with than the one I met when I most needed somebody.