In love with a non-Muslim girl
"No dating".
Dear Muslims,
I am in love with a girl who is not a Muslim. We started as friends a few months ago and right now the relationship has become so intense that we are now lovers. We have not played sex or had any physical contact like kissing because I usually refuse to go out with her.
The relationship grows more and more daily. Sometimes I even miss salah when am with her. This has happened so many times when am with her.
I do love her a lot the way she loves me. I have failed to decline her because whenever I try it, she cries like for a day.
I told her that am a muslim but she didn't get me well. Please fellow muslims help me with it, how should I manage this or how should I get rid of her?
- hassan247
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Assalamualaikum Hassan,
You have missed Salah, being with her for some time. Perhaps you will totally leave the Salawaat and even leave your deen if you give her all your time.
If someone cries, asking you to leave the Worship of Allah, will you leave it? Islam does not allow the relations before marriage. You should tell her that Islam does not allow you to be with her because Islam does not honor premarital relations. Over all of this, she is not Muslim. You should look for a pious Muslim lady to marry instead. You should have no excuse after this. If you continue, perhaps you will fall into the greater sin.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
assalamualikum
i would like to know why it's so? can't we merry to a non muslim girl who is ready to accept islam
salaam
" GET RID OF HER " i'm sorry but it takes two to tango she is also a human being You love her you know it is haraam do it this out side of wed lock then why do you do it if some one is going to cry let them cry when it comes to pray time and just read let her watch you read
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS
BUT IF YOU DO LOVE HER AND WANT TO LIVE WITH HER ask her to marry you do niqaah with her and inshallah over time she will by you and others see how beautiful our Islaam is and want to learn more and hopefully convert
but from the sound of it your fed up or it feels like a burden on you
let me stress it to you my brother that when it comes to namaaz don't blame it on others it was you who decided to not stop go do wudu and read namaaz.
allah hafiz
Assalaamu alaikum,
You know already what you must do, you have got to eliminate this woman from your life. The shaytaan comes in many guises and she is that to you. Your 'intense' love is not real. It is like an addiction, you don't need but you convince yourself you do.
She is blocking your path to Allah.
Brother,
Why not give this girl a copy of the Quran translated by Abdullah Yusif Ali? Rather than try to get rid of her, invite her to learn about your faith!
Salam
Najah, i totally agree with you.
I believe strongly that Allah put's situations in our path in order that we may learn from them. In this case, this brother is already finding that he has strong feelings towards this girl. By offering her an opportunity for her to see what Islam is all about, he may very well bring this girl into the fold of Islam, make her his wife and live in a halal manner. However, if she is not interested at all in Islam or it's teachings...this brother can kindly let her know that he needs to go his own way if anything for the sake of his deen.
Salam
Assalaamu alaikum,
This advice is terribly naive as in reality is not the best course of action and ignores the fact that dating is haraam. He has 'intense' feelings for her, so he is only going to make it more difficult for himself to refrain from wrongdoing if he remains in contact with her.
If he pins hope on her becoming a Muslim so they can be together, then having that hope will maintain his feelings for her. If this girl has any interest in Islam she can find out independently from other female Muslims. However he states
'I told her that am a muslim but she didn't get me well.'
This doesn't look too promising. So there is no point putting himself at risk, in case she decides to learn about Islam plus it may be that she will only do this to maintain the guy rather than for the sake of Allah.
So...in essence what your saying here is, don't even try? I have seen too many individuals in my day come back to the light of Islam to take that route. I used to have Islamic classes in my home on Sundays when I lived in a small town in Florida. Among them was a Jewish woman who came to those meetings. She took her Shahada in my home and to this day, she is a strong Muslim woman very active in the Muslim community. I look back and I think, "wow...how cool is that?"
Allah tests all of us and for me personally, I see this as a test for this brother. Yes, dating is haram and this brother already knows that hence he is trying to keep away from this girl. However, he is asking those of us on the forum what our thoughts are...these are mine. Naive you say...possibly. However, by giving her the Quran...he could open doors for her the likes she has never known. Many people are lost in this materialistic world of ours and often welcome the opportunity to learn of something new, especially in regards to faith.
Allah hu alem
Salam
he should give her a copy of the Quran by Muhsin Khan or Sahih International.
as for Yusuf Ali
Read Chapter 15 [Surat Al-Ĥijr (The Rocky Tract)], Verse 16.
Yusuf Ali's translations is.
It is We Who have set out the zodiacal signs in the heavens, and made them fair-seeming to (all) beholders;
________________________
May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!
Salam Aleikun Sister Najah,is it allowed in Islam for an Unbeliever to touch the Quran?The girl in topic here is an unbeliever,what does Islam say about giving the Quran to an unbeliever?
Salam brother,
I cannot tell a lie, I do not know what Islam says about giving the Quran to a nonbeliever however...how could a person learn about Islam if they didn't have the opportunity to look at it...to read the words?
When I was Christian many moons ago, I approached a young Muslimah and told her I wanted to learn about Islam. I told her I had a Quran which I had in my possession for five years. I never once opened it...I was afraid of what it held inside. I know it sounds so stupid but I didn't know if I was ready to read it. This woman said to me, "read the Quran, that is how you will learn". I did. I went home and when I finally did open up that Quran, I could not put it down. I was so excited that I had goosebumps when I read. I would sit for hours just soaking up what was in those pages, what Allah had planned for me in this life and the hereafter.Long story short, I was 21 years old when I took my shahada and I have never once regretted doing so.
A few years ago I met a woman who worked in the bank who said she wanted to learn about Islam. I drove home, I got the very Quran that I read when I learned about Islam and I gave it to her. I didn't care what her religion was and I still don't. I never saw her again and I do not know till this day if she ever accepted Islam into her heart. But what I do know is this...Allah knows what is in my heart and he knows my intentions were pure.
Maybe someone with more knowledge into the depths of Islam can answer your query as to giving a non believer a Quran. I cannot imagine how it could ever be haram...Allah hu alem.
PS...I even gave a Jewish woman a Quran 13 years ago and she accepted Islam in my home. Till this day she is one of the best Muslim women I know. Involved in the Muslim community and more. Allah hu akbar!
An article I read: http://spa.qibla.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=17&CATE=30
Salam
Najah, what great stories, ma-sha-Allah. As your link indicates, it's perfectly fine to give non-Muslims a copy of the Quran that includes English translation, as long as they understand to treat it with respect and handle it with clean hands.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Allah said: "O you who have believed, indeed the polytheists are unclean" (Quran 9:28)
Allah said: "This is indeed a Qur'an, most honourable, in a Book well guarded, which none shall touch but those who are clean" .(Quran 56:77-79)
Therefore, If a person is genuinely interested in learning about Islam and is sincere then it may insha'Allah be permissible to hand him a copy of the translated Quran. They are advised to clean themselves first. In the OP's case, it is not preferable to give her a copy of the Quran because she might not be interested as you said ' she didn't get you well ' and if you do get rid of her, she might put full anger and blame the Quran etc. Your best course of action would be to put a full stop to this illegal relationship, repent sincerely and fear Allah and do not teach her about Islam etc as we are talking about your feelings here and this form of relationship is called 'da'wah in disguise pre-marital relationship' which satan prefers to make two non-mahram commit sin. There is no halal dating, you are not allowed to teach your gf about Islam, surely this will grow your false desire and may lead you to commit sins. Therefore, sever all ties and obey Allah and His messenger.
Assalaamu alaikum,
I'm a hindu girl but i want to learn Namaz and Quran and other all things related to muslim because i really love muslim religious but i don't want to learn all these by books , i want to learn from a educated muslim women who teaches me practical and give me all talims related muslim, so please can you refer me those muslim women's name and numbers who interested to teach me.
Thanks
Wa Alaikum as Salam,
Sapna, it is great to hear that you want to learn Islam personally. But we do not share personal contact information on our website for everyone's protection.
You can however use this link and decide if you wish to become a Muslim: http://invitation2islaam.wordpress.com/
If you are convinced that Allah Is your Only God and there is none other than Him worthy of Worship and that Muhammad is His Prophet and Messenger, then here is something you can learn further about Islam from:
http://abdurrahman.org/ and http://newtoislaam.wordpress.com/
If you want help in any issue, you can create a new post with your request and in sha Allah, we will try our best to help you.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Same case is with me.. I love a non muslim girl.. But i never had a date with her.. Never touched her.. She never stops me for salaah.. Nd she is ready to accept islam.. But main thing is dat if u wants to be change ur religion then change it for allah.. Not for a perticular person.. What should i do??
Saud, if you believe that she is sincere in her conversion - that she truly believes in Allah and Islam - then go ahead and marry her, why not.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh brother hassan.
Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh brother hassan. I appreciate you that you have not yet had any physical activity and saved yourself from shaitan in that point. and coming to my suggestion, you said that she loves you so much and if u really know that then hpw can you say that you want to get rid of her??, you knew she was a non Muslim even before you love her then why did you propose?. didnt you know this day would come? now if you simply avoid and break your relationship, wat would she think of Muslims? will she ever trust any muslim here after? brother. if you are a momin and if you know allah is tge creator of everything and everyone both muslims and nonmuslims then being the one one who loves her it is your responsibility to give her daawat towards islam and help her realise and prove that you really love her and make duas to allah continuously asking allah to give her imaan and allah azza wajal will repond you and inshallah she ll understand rever to islam. allah is the rabban naas and not just rabbal muslimeen. I ll make dua. she l understand inshallah. Allahumma ameen
Dear brother Assalamo Alaikum. I also am in love with a girl who was a non muslim. She wanted a relationship without marriage and Nikkah I kept saying no we must do Nikkah. Due to this argument I ended up inviting her to Islam. Alhamdulillah she's accepted Islam now and she's reading and studying Islamic text. It was very difficult for me to get her to see the truth. But in the end Alhamdulillah she saw the truth and accepted Islam. I prayed to Allah daily so that her heart be unsealed, hear ears be unsealed and the covering on her eyes be lifted. Read your Salah on time brother, Shaytaan could come in many forms in order to distract you from the worship of Allah. The Love for Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.s) and Allah (ج) should be more than loving ourselves. Allah and Rasool (saws) comes before any other person. And Allah knows best.
relax hassan 🙂 impressed her with your akhlak...how u treat people.i believe with good akhlak u will impressed her ...akhlak rasulullah. if she still there and want to know more about islam then goo but if she leave god has already prepared for you another one 🙂 salam
Yes I have also fallen in love with a non-Muslim woman who loves me dearly. We are not married and she doesn't agree with some Islamic teachings. I was looking to propose but am skeptical about our future. I understood that it's not forbidden to marry a non-Muslim as long as the male is a Muslim in the relationship. I do wish it was easier said then done to simply let her go.
Trust me brother, in the long run you will be a lot happier if you let this woman go and find a Muslimah. I speak from experience.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
If she accept islam it is permissible in to marry her
Just marry her you can't get rid of her and it is permissible in Islam to marry a non muslim girl if she accept Islam
Please Misa, explain bit more your answer. You are suggesting to marry her instead of leaving her, even though she isn't converted yet, right?
And always be patience and pray to Allah to unseal her heart, is that what u mean?
Salam Misa
Please explain bit more your answer.
U suggest to Marry instead of leaving her, right?
Marry and pray to Allah to unsealed her heart, right?
So it's permitted to marry a non Muslim for a Muslim man.
Assalam alykum, regarding this matter, i will cite an ayah in the Qur'an.
Suratul Baqarah, chapter 221
And do not marry female associators (Those who associate others with Allah) until they believe; and indeed a believing bondwoman is more charitable than a female associator, even if you may admire her. And do not (allow) associators to marry (your females) until they believe. And indeed a believing bondman is more charitable than an associator, even if you may admire him. Those call to the Fire, and Allah calls to the Garden and forgiveness, by His permission, and He makes evident His signs to mankind, that possibly they would remind themselves.
Point of Correction
Allah made mention of disbelieving men and women, who associate partners with Allah, a christian may associate partner with Allah and he/she may not, but what you should only take to heart what is glaring, as he/she is a christian or jew, not idolator.