Islamic marriage advice and family advice

In love with a non-Muslim boy, what to do?

love non muslim

Assalamualaikum,

I  m a Muslim girl. My parents taught me everything in Islam, but somehow i fell in love with a non-Muslim boy. He really loves me a lot, and even I loves him. I know that its haram in Islam.

We both are from India, and there inter caste marriages are not at all supported. We knew that our parents would never bless us for our marriage.

For the last one year we used to meet once in a week, we used to go outing, we eat food together, but one day we kissed n hugged each other. We know that it's not good.

After that we decided to get married only with our parents' permission, or else we will remain unmarried. Because i cant consider another man in his place, and for him also. I know marrying a non-Muslim is forbidden in Islam, for the very reason, I promised him I will love him till my death, without marrying another man.

And now parents are pressuring me to get married to another man, I opened my mind to him, n said that i m in love with a boy. He said that its OK for him. But I cant forget him , and I dont want to break the promise i gave him.

Is my decision right or wrong.? Please help me.

- maria

 

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15 Responses »

  1. Wrong cuz you have put him and your love for him before Allah and your love for Allah. You should only try as far as possible to share Islam with him if your love for him is pure. You must do'a that Allah. There are many ways. Not need to spend lonely times with him.

  2. My incomplete sentence should have been.. You must do'a that Allah grants him hidayah soon. If you marry, it must be LILLAHI TA'ALA.

  3. It's not permited in Islam to marry a non Muslim guy or girl,, may Allah help u and let u understand Islam completely
    Sallam

  4. My Sister,

    Please remember Allah in all things, and He will remember you. This boy may be a good person, but he is non-Muslim. You are doing something that is haraam. You know this.

    You must please seek out a wise and pious Muslim woman that you respect at your Masjid, and get her to help you with advice and friendship. Ask her for help in finding ways to occupy your time. She will also help you see and avoid the mistake you may be making. You made him a promise that you should not have made. Don't make such promises in the future.

    Your promises to Allah must come first. Ask forgiveness for breaking this promise to this boy, and He will be with you.

    You will be in my next dua. Be strong in Allah.

    American Muslim

    • waleykum assalam sis

      May Allah help u my sis....plz read Quran as much as u can (With Tafseer and Amal- act on it)

      try to divert your mind from him
      Remember Allah has send all of us in this world ONLY FOR TEST

      And it was your TEST my dear,,,,plz take it like your toughest exam...but try to PASS it on
      Remember ALLAH LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANYONE....
      And you can get peace only with him. Worldly love is nothing more than Pain.

      If he loves you and you love him than u shd have teach him Islam....but if Allah has not made him for HIDAYAH OF IMAAN....than its your Islamic duty to sacrifice IMAAN, RELIGION AND LOVE OF ALLAH and AT LAST JANNAH.

      "And come not near Zina (unlawful intercourse). Verily, it is a Fâhishah [i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allâh forgives him)." (Quran, 17:32)

      Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “The eyes commit Zina, the hands commit Zina and feet commit Zina and the genitals commit Zina.” (Musnad Ahmad, Hadith no. 4258)

      “The zina of the eyes is the gaze (at that which is unlawful); the zina of the ears is to listen (to talks that excite the carnal desire); the zina of the tongue is to speak (what is evil); the zina of the hand is to touch (the opposite sex which is unlawful to you); the zina of the feet is to walk (towards immorality); the zina of the heart is to desire (what is unlawful), and it is the private parts which either commits or shuns the actual act of fornication.” (Reported by Muslim)

      A person who indulges in these activities should make sincere repentance to Allah by giving up this sin, feeling regretful for what he has done and ask Allah the Almighty to forgive him.

      Sister think what zulm you have did to your self by disobeying Allah and Rasool (peace be upon him), DO ASTAGHFAR CONTINUOUSLY as much as u can. plz wake up my sis control your Naffs (desires) and move towards ALLAH. Don't tell your sin to anybody InshaAllah Allah ta Aala will conceal it.

      "O' you who believe! Do not put yourselves (your desires) forward before Allah and His Messenger, and fear Allah. Verily! Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing." [49:1]

      Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest(13:28)

      MAY ALLAH HELP YOU AND ALL OF US AND TAKE YOU AND ALL OF US UNDER THE SHADE OF HIS MERCY

      AAMEEN

  5. salamvalakum sister

    what ever u r doing is haraam and frist being muslim u must understand that we have frist respect to allah and 2 to his last and final messanger mohammad(pbuh) and third is u r mother allah says in quraan that dont marry a non beliver but still u r going aganist his and no one is succed in this world and the life after these if they go aganist allah have u not read about the egypt king firon sister love is general feeling it happen at these age but a good muslim gril has control over his body u said u have hugged and kissed him half of the haraam u have alredy done allah says that a unmarried women or men should not indulge in such activiates sister marrying non muslim is probhited for both men and women in islam the holy book quran which allah send on earth as a gudiance to the whole world but still v muslim are lacking sister what r u doing u said that u will not break u r boy friend promise but the promise of mohammad(pbuh) u have already broken u r accepting that u r boyfriend is greater than all but u have froget the there is allah sister what u have done is wrong and u agreed to u r preants to marry a muslim guy and u have told that muslim guy about u r affair but still he wants to marry u i dont know how is he i have not seen him but 1 thing for sure that he is good muslim who is obeying allah and his rasool sister its very bad to here that our muslim girl is telling that after marriage also she cant forget that non beliver u r boy friend sister he is going in hell if u wants to go if u r wish bcoz allah says there is no complesion in islam allah says u cant force any 1 for getting in islam infact allah says tell the turth if he/she accepts fine if not then allah will look after them i think u also know the only religion acceptable in the sight of allah is islam i once again request u to go and ask sorry form allah he is to kind may b he will forgive u and also ask sorry for u r new husband who is muslim may give u hidyaa sister

  6. Asalam Alakum sister. I know what you have been through (because astagfiurllah ive been through this). Remember this world is just temporary and it is a test. Please give it time and time will heal everytime. Keep yourself occupied with islam and other things like education, ways in helping the poor, going masjid, thinking about people who are suffering in other places around the world and praying for them....Remember you made a mistake, it is your time to repent. Don't put your desire and infatuation and what you call love above Allah. Be patient too dear, that is what Allah look for the most. Pray for more patience and strength and move on in the right directions. Just think of it like you went through a phase and look it it like that. Move on. InshAllah pray for him to help you, Allah will help you and Allah will do what is best for you, please don't hurt him.

  7. Dear Maria,
    I think everyone else are being very harsh on you. You can't control your love. I understand completely, because I am in love with a non-Muslim boy as well. Tell him that you will be able to marry him if he converts to Islam. If he doesn't, than that also means he wouldn't do 'anything' for you. Inshallah he converts and you two live happily together.
    Iqra

    • We may not be able to control our feelings (and that is debatable), but we can certainly control our actions. Our duty is to Allah. Not to do whatever we feel like doing.

      Sister Maria, you did not "somehow" fall in love with this boy. It happened because you made the wrong choices. You met him every week, and spent time with him, so you developed feelings for him.

      The promise you gave the boy was haram in the first place, so not only is it okay to break that promise, you must do so.

      You're young and you don't have life experience, so you don't have perspective. You'll have to trust me when I say that this stuff about, "I promised him I will love him till my death, without marrying another man" is nonsense. People develop feelings for one person, then it doesn't work out for whatever reason (maybe they even get married but it ends in divorce), and they go on with their lives. In time the feelings fade, and they meet someone else, and fall in love. That's the way of life.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Allah can never be deceived by his creation ! Subhana'Allah

    • Oh Iqra Marry with Non Muslim n if he converted for marry Women still get zina n gunah so Kindly scars from Allah, read hadees Qudsia vloume 3 page 78 You will b understand If you Love with Non Muslim So That,s mean you havnt Love with Allah so May Allah Give You Hidayat n Maria

  8. Same situation with me ...plz help me ...I am 16 years old ...and I know it's wrong to love a hindu boy ...but know I relize that I done wrong ..and I am very sorry for that to my Allah ...plz pray for me ..after all that I am realising very bad ..feeling very much guilty that what I have done ...Allah forgive me or not ..:(

  9. walaikum salam sister pls remember judgement day no one can help you.islam not compel deciding in your hand.you marry non muslim your childrens turn against islam.you only not go to hell.think your self eemaan is non valueable thing in world.don't loss your eemaan.pls avoid that boy it is protect ur eemaan.again once remember to you no one can't help
    you on judgement day.allah will forgive ur sins.

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