Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am in love with a couple on TV!

I'm a 16 year old, Muslim, girl, and I have a terrible addiction to masturbation. I began when I was about 11; through the years this sin had progressed and gotten more frequent and 'worse'.

However, this is the tricky part, I watch a TV show, it's an incredible show, filled with heart, dreams, hopes, relationships and etc. There is a couple on the show, and I am in love with their relationship, so much so, that I read Fanfics online about them. For the most part, that's okay, they're basically stories written, like reading a book.

However sometimes I read 'Mature' fanfics and get carried away. So I basically masturbate after reading 'hot' stories. It's a horrific habbit, and I'm trying to stop, I also used to masturbate in the shower - almost everyday! Now I managed, allhamdullilah, to cut it down to once a month, maybe once in two! I'm working on it. But I need help.

Basically my masturbation comes from those two characters from a TV show (I know that's super weird) but I don't know what to do. Suggestions, help?

~ OneHundredAcreWoods


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8 Responses »

  1. Asalaamualaykum Sister,

    Common sense - stop watching this tv show and stop reading those 'fanfic' books. Infact stop watching and reading everything that has nudity and notions of romance and fantasizing - this covers most of what we are exposed to on the television (idiot box) and in the media today - it is actually slow brainwashing and destroying our Ummah. Infact such things are the tools of shaytaan. Shaytaan will not come to you say 'Hey, I order you to disobey Allah' - well has he hever come to you and done that? No, I am very sure he hasnt.

    Instead he will come to you in form of other things, like your desires and the TV set and dirty books. He will whisper in your ears and make things that are very bad for you seem attractive to you - as is what is happening in your case. Shaytan is invisible to those who are sleeping sister, but those who are spiritually awake know when shaytan is trying to misguide them, be that in the form of 'Lust, Greed, Anger, Laziness etc'. Allah(swt) warns us in the Quran in Surah al-A'raf, Ayahs 11-18, that shaytaan said: "I will surely sit and wait for them (referring to humans) on your straight path, then I will come at them, from in front of them and behind them, from their right and from their left...'. And when one of the Prophets(ra) asked him(the cursed one): "By what did you defeat the son of Adam?" He(the cursed one) said, "At the time of anger and at the time of desire".

    That is why Allah says and warns us strongly in Quran Surah Al Isra, Verse 32, "And come not NEAR to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way." And sister, what you are doing is 'NEAR' to sexual intercourse. You may laugh at this and be thinking 'don't be silly,' but no sister, I am not being silly. It is the truth. Once you start going off the 'straight' path, you will keep tripping and falling until eventually you end up in completely the wrong direction altogether. If you manage to control your desires now, you will become a stronger person and it will influence the rest of your life positively. Trust me on this.

    So remember that you are sixteen years old and not a child. You will be held accountable for everything that you are doing, saying and watching in the court of Allah. On the day of Judgement, all the bad things we have done will be exposed to all those we hid them from (unless Allah forgives us through His Mercy). What we all want to do is 'not forget Allah' that Allah Sees and Hears and Knows all and more than we can contemplate, we want to remember Him(swt) so that we are always spiritually awake.

    So if you know that your bad habit of 'masturbation' is an affect effect of reading and watching filth - then it is your responsibility to remove this filth from your life. Do you want to stand up strong and break this habit for the sake of Allah? Will you make this sacrifice today and turn your bad deeds in to good deeds? I know you already want to improve yourself otherwise you would not have written here. So wake up and do something now, today before it is too late.

    It is Jummah today, right? Start with the name of Allah, make tawbah, perform Ghusl and purify your intention, vow to make a practical effort to move away from wasting your time watching and reading things that are haraam. Tear up those 'fanfics' and throw them in the bin. Don't give them to charity because that will encourage others to read them and if you have a TV in your bedroom, remove it.

    Since your nafs has become lazy and used to giving in to your lower desires, you have literally become a slave to your desires, so breaking this bad habit will be difficult at first but will become easier insha'Allah. Force yourself by training your nafs to do what is best for 'your soul'. And you can only do that by taking measures to change your life. Now that you have removed those bad reading materials, replace your reading material with that which will benefit you in this life and the next. Read some Islamic heart softening books and replace your TV show with something on Islam Channel, Peace TV or Huda TV etc. Busy yourself with worship of Allah and with seeing family, join the gym, divert your mind to good things and remind yourself often of death (it is the destroyer of all pleasures).

    However although you can practically remove the tv show and books from your life, the shaytan will continue trying to whisper bad thoughts to you. So for protection from shaytaan, you will need to be spiritually awake. And for this, you need the help of Allah. So, the way to achieve 'spiritual awareness' is to remember Allah(swt) at all times, seek refuge with Him(swt), be clean at all times, make sure you pray your Salaah, recite Quran, do your daily Duas, especially the one before entering the bathroom: (these things are by no means exhaustive, but are basic fundamentals of your ibaadah - and there are many more things you can add to get closer and closer to Allah).

    "بِسْمِ اللهِ اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْخُبُْثِ وَالْخَبَائِثِ".
    Transliteration: [Bismillaahi] Allaahumma 'innee 'a'oothu bika minal-khubthi walkhabaa'ith.
    Translation: [In the Name of Allah] . (Then) O Allah , I seek protection in You from the male and female unclean spirits.
    Reference: Al-Bukhari 1/45, Muslim 1/283. The addition of Bismillah at its beginning was reported by Said bin Mansur. See Fathul-Bari 1/244 http://www.islamawareness.net/Dua/Fortress/006.html

    Also as something to replace your 'old reading material', please take out your time to read this (esp parts 2 & 3):
    http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/the-sin-of-fornication-and-adultery/
    http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/the-sin-of-fornication-and-adultery/the-sin-of-adultery-and-fornication-part-2/
    http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/the-sin-of-fornication-and-adultery/the-sin-of-adultery-and-fornication-part-3/

    ***
    One of my friends once said to me: 'Sister, whatever you do in your youth(and young years, meaning 20's etc) will pave the path for your future.' And this is so true, may Allah reward that brother for his wise words, because if nothing else, I will always remember these words of his. So what do you think Sister? Do you want to join the Muslim Sisterhood today? If so, let us know what you are going to do about.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I would like to add something. Since the 3 hours that I just wrote my reply to you, something has happened that I hope will be an added wake up call for you and for all of us insha'Allah.

      A Pakistani domestic plane carrying some 150 passengers or so, left Karachi airport a few hours ago. It was just 10 minutes from its destinantion Islamabad airport, when the bad weather caused the pilot to lose control. The plane turned on its side and crashed over a residential area and from the scenes being shown on the news, it will be a miracle if anyone survived the flames. It was quite horrific to watch, as the whole thing was recorded on camera. What those poor people must have gone through in their last moments is unthinkable. They must have boarded the plane happily, but a few hours later are now being carried away in body bags. May Allah forgive them and grant them Jannah and may this time also bring their families and loved one's nearer to Him(swt), aameen.

      My point is this sister, that death will come upon us when we least expect it. So strive to live as a good Muslim and strive to die as a good Muslim. Don't let these time wasting and soul killing weapons of shaytan destroy your chances of that.

      Abu Hurayrah reports that Nabi (saw) said, “O People! Remember much the destroyer of pleasures, death.” (Tirmidhi, Nasaa’i, Ibn Maajah

      Insha'Allah you will step up to the mark.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • INNALILLAHI WA INNA ILAIHI RAJI UUN!!! May Almighty Allah grant the gentle souls eternal rest... Nobody knows when death would come to him. It might be today, it might be tomorrow, it might be now or later... So for our interest, is better we start pleasing Allah now, i mean now (by doing righteous deeds that Allah has ordained for us) and stop all what He has forbidden us to do... This is what would lead us to paradise and prevent us from the eternal punishment in hell fire..

    • Just one thing stop this dirty work and all boys including me do this dirty work :((((((((. It is soo hard but its is possible u can do it .never give up plzzz god forgives us and takes are sex desire away from us if we cry for mercy and a true pray can make u a good girl,inshallah

  2. Salamu'alaikum,

    I agree with the SisterZ above. Additionally, I'd like to say that the addiction is really evil. I've seen my friend suffer. If you wish to lead a peaceful life, then you should look forward to abstaining from it.

    Keep yourself busy in Allah's remembrance. Supplicate day and night. Keep away from places that induce you to do such an evil act. Grab a book known as "Hisn al Muslim - Fortress of the Muslim" available here: http://www.islamhouse.com/p/39062

    Stop reading evil. Shaitaan always stands by the believer and asks him/her to do what Allah has forbidden. He wants people to join him in the Hell Fire.
    Instead, read the books about Islam, it's history, the life of the Prophet Sallallahu 'Alaihi wasallam, his Sahaabah, his wives, and the Salaf as Saliheen (Pious Predecessors) and the Righteous 'Ulama of Islam.

    You can begin with "The Sealed Nectar" which is an award winning book on Seerah by Shaikh Safiur Rahmaan.

    Please keep yourself busy with these and find the company of righteous girls, in order to keep yourself away from the evil as they will remember you about Allah and His Message.

    Know that you are to meet Allah and ask yourself "What will I answer my Lord?"

    Please read the following article. It will help you a lot:

    Ruling on masturbation and how to cure the problem.:
    http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/329

    May Allah solve your problem
    Aameen
    Wassalamu'alaikum
    Muhammad Waseem

  3. Salam

    Dont worry about this

    You'll survive. Its your hormones. There is not anything wrong with you. You might just be a sexual person. There for which ever man you marry in the future inshallah, will be very pleased with you

  4. subhanAllah brother/sister thats absuloutly disgusting and vile!, you have no idea how repugnant and indecent your actions are. the obvious cure is to not watch such TV programmes and the second most obvious thing is that your heart desperately needs revival into the diin and remembrance of Allah. when you remember the punishment for such actions its a deterrent so please go and read about consequence of sexual perversion, that should (hopefully) scare you into giving up the shaytan habit.

  5. to what I think marriage shall do the trick

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