Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I have fallen for a Muslim Woman, but I am not a Muslim

book, holy book, love non muslim

I have known a Muslim girl for a long time, and over that time, I have fallen in love with her. The problem therefore being, I am not a Muslim myself. I have studied Islam and it's customs for a while now, and I know that in order to marry her, I would have to convert to Islam.

The problem I am having is that I am not sure about the concept of converting to Islam, considering I have never formally pledged myself to any religion before, and I was not raised in a religious family.

I believe that I am truly in love with this girl, and she loves me too, and is distraught on the fact that it couldn't happen unless I were to convert. I am asking for some advice on what I should do in this situation, because I love this girl, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but converting to Islam frightens me greatly.

~ HydroHeat

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61 Responses »

  1. Greetings Brother.
    Whats wrong in converting to islam whats frightning u,Islam is a religion of peace and thats the only religion which will be accepted on the day of judgement,once when you'll start learning about Islam you'll see its beauty this religion is perfect,and i am happy that you seriously love that muslim girl and want to spend your rest of the life with her she might be deserving...try to read Quran with translations,know abt our prophet Mohammed the messenger of allah,who taught us the way of living in the best way that any one could

    the editors of this site will recommend you islamic sites and books to refer.
    I pray God to guide you to the right path and open your heart to understand Islam and make you and your beloved togethor in this life and even in the heaven...Ameen

    • @ laiba. . . Salaam. Sorry for coming through this post. but i tried to respond to u d very day u replied me and upon typing and sending, the massage would be rejected and will displaying 'error'. I feel d editors (wael or sisz) have tried to refrain my post from reaching u and i feel very very disappionted with that. . . . Am just trying to help u and that's all and i will appreciate it if anyone can point out any rift in all my responds to ur problems.. . . . I feel that no one among d editors knows d nature of ur problem and that's why some of them denied it existance. . However, am not against taking medical treatment, it may be of help to her. . . . . But sisz and wael, what is the point of refraining my post to reach d lady????

  2. Brother
    Plz leave her coz she cannot marry unless u revert 2 isalm

    Love is one thing n religion is another

    a good advice find someone in your own religion

    Bcoz i feel that ull never convert n even if u do it would be merely for the sake of marrying her

    My advice find a girl in your own religion
    Plz dont ruin this girl life

  3. Brother,

    I appreciate your likings towards a muslim girl but you have to understand that for a muslimah their submission to Allah swt comes or should come first before any love feeling.

    If you do not have faith in oneness of Allah (swt) and Muhammad (saw) being the last and final messenger of Allah (swt) and on top of that if you do not hold belief in the six articles of faith in Islam, then please kindly leave the muslim girl alone and let her be faithful to her Creator first. A muslim girl is only can marry a muslim man, and similarly a muslim man us only allowed to marry a muslim girl or a girl from the ppl of the books.

    Islam requires a lot of responsibilty, therefore, please do not make it any harder for her. Please be kind to yourself and her by not forming any pre-martial relationship with her. And if you happen to see her, please remind her of message of Islam and nothing else.

    May Allah (swt) guide you and all the mankind towards His path.

    with peace and respect,

    IKnowItSister 🙂

  4. Salaam brother Iknowit sister is right that your conversion must be sincere.
    It is wrong to try and cheat the system as God knows our hearts and our intentions.

    If you truly love this girl and want to marry her sincerely I would advise you to look into Islam. Do this yourself, without her. Take a step back from the relationship to learn about true Islam. Not media-intensified Islam. If I am honest, I am not surprised you are frightened if you have the media to go on while learning about Islam. Islam is a religion of peace, not violence! Try to find a good Muslim Imam or someone to study with and learn the basics of Islam - oneness in God. There is no God except One God (Allah) and Muhammad (SAW- peace be upon him) is His Messenger. This is the shahada which to become a Muslim you have to say in your lips and mean in your heart.

    So take a spiritual journey and look towards Islam in the search for truth. Do you believe in God currently as one good way is to ask Him to guide you towards whatever is the truth. Ask Him sincerely, associating NO partners or offspring with Him for the truth. Learn about what Muslims believe. Do not feel too daunted about Islam as a way of life- the first most important is correct belief, followed by prayer.

    If you find Islam in your heart then you can marry this girl, otherwise if you really love her then you should let her go for her sake. I know tis is difficult to her and I pray God guides you to the truth. If you have any further questions hydroheat, your welcome to reply on this post and we will do our best to help you, God willing.

    I pray God guides you to the truth.

    Sara Editor

  5. Well agreed with the comments made by sister

    But u knew this was coming, u knew that a muslimwomen cannot marry a non muslim

    Dude its gonna be alright once u find a person for whom i dont have 2 leave ur religion , i mean some girl of your own religion

    u can live without her , its just a matter of time , find someone else

  6. Hi brother i thick what all the sisters said to you is true.There is noting to be frighting by converting to islam. many people are getting wrong ideas about islam.Islam is the religion of peace & mercy.Many people from other religions are accepting Islam because they found how wonderful it is.And you can found that if you truly open your heart to it.

    "converting to Islam is not by loving someone.u must truly convert from your heart.

    As our God said in His holy book.(The only religion in the sight of God is Islam).(Quran 3;85)

    And our prophet muhammad (s.a.w) said(whoever testifies that there in none worthy of being worshiped but God(Allah) who has no partner and that Mahammad is his slave and prophet,and that Jesus is the slave of God His slave His prophet and His word,which he bestowed in Marry and a spirit created from Him and that paradise(heaven)true and the hell(fire) is true God(Allah) will eventually admit him to paradise according to his islam is the only right & true religion to be followed and believe & the only religion to the success"

    • So islam is the only right and true religion to be followed and believe & the only religion to the success.i am very happy that you love this muslim girl & want to spend your life with her but in Islam muslim girls are not allowed to marry non-muslim man only mens are allowed to marry no-muslim women so please try to read more about Islam.& you will truly found its light in your heart.wish you a good luck in your life.

  7. Following on from Sara's advice which I fully agree with, I have recently witnessed a marriage between a Muslim sister and a revert. The man's interest in Islam was sparked by the Muslim girl, he researched into the faith and a year later accepted that Islam is the one and only true faith. He was frightened too at first, but once he learned about the religion, he was drawn towards it. He married the muslim sister just recently.

    If you are in the UK near or in London and would like to be put in touch with a good Masjid/Mosque, please let me know and I will arrange it.

    SisterZ Editor

    • Well great indeed
      Same for u brother
      Accpet islam for the love of islam , n the women u love will stand with u forever n respect u forever ,

      Doing this(reverting) ull live happily in the earth with ur love ,n in the herafter bcoz of the love of allah(swt)

  8. Dude plz give urself time n learn about islam

    N if u feel , its not possible , then refer my above comments , find someone else loooolllll

    • Trueblood,

      I find some of your advice really childish. The brother has come here sincerely to seek help. Its actually not a funny situation to be in.

      SisterZ Editor

      • Well i wanted 2 say the brother
        That if u wanna marry a muslim girl accept islam ,

        Otherwise u have 2 leave her

        Sry for making my straight forward comment digusting

        Plz accept my apolygy

        • "Well i wanted 2 say the brother
          That if u wanna marry a muslim girl accept islam ,

          Otherwise u have 2 leave her"

          He already knows that, thats why he is here.

      • I'm fairly certain he is the same guy you all had to start moderating his comments recently.

      • I think you're all being childish. All the commentors are using this opportunity to convince him to revert to Islam instead of actually dealing with the situation. In his current situation, he cannot make a commitment to Islam because it will be tainted by his devotion to her. In essence, he will submit to God in order to submit to her, and this is shirk.

        What he must do is to not revert to Islam; he must decide on this only after he is emotionally separated from the woman. If, after this, he decides to revert to Islam by accepting only God's love (not her love), it will be true and good. And if God wills this man and the Muslimah to be together, they will be in the end. If they are not, then God did not will it.

  9. True blood rather than convincing him to accept Islam the best religion you are advicng him to leave that girl...its easy to accept Islam rather then finding a true love again...
    May be Allah had showered his blessings on him and he wanted this men to be in Islam so the story of girl happened may be for the reason to is All by Allahs wish we cant make him Muslim but can show the beauty and its value infront of Allah...
    Brother learn about Islam but accept it only for Allah not for marryng the girl as it will not be accepted...
    Allah says if yoy come one step closer i come two steps closer to you,and if you come one hand distance near i come 10 hands near you...If you want to be Muslim,Islam welcomes you with open arms...Welcome.
    Editors are here to help you to convert...
    May Allah bless you.

    • Masha Allah. . . . Excellent advice from every one above (except from that of true blood). . . . . . . Brother, i think is a very huge blessing for u meeting this girl. She has become a door way for u researching about islam.. . . . . . . So brother, in islam we beleive in d concept of one true God and submiting to his will. The God that do not begot and is not begotting. . . . There is noting co-equal or comparable to Him. . . The God that create the heavens , the earth and all that is in d heavens and d earth. The God that dat created u and me and all the human beings that exist on d earth. . . . . . . U know brother, it is true that there is going to be another life after every one have die and that is when u are going account for d deeds u ve done. . . . It is true that there is hell fire and paradise. . . . The heat of d hell fire is 70 times the fire of this world and that is were d disbelievers and evil doers will be thrown into and they will abide therein forever (no more death, only suffering) . . . . I want u to imagine a fire outbreak in an industry or a house, can u dear enter into such fire for even 10minutes whilst d fire is burning???, i know d answer is No coz within 30 seconds, u will rust to ashes.. . .. . . . . . . . . . . . And likewise d paradise will be opened to d beleivers and d good doers wherein they will have eternal enjoyment, and they will abide therein forever.. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Brother,the God that created u said '"AND I CREATED NOT JINN AND MANKIND EXCEPT THAT THEY SHOULD WORSHIP ME''' "' I SEEK NOT ANY PROVISION FROM THEM NOR DO I ASK THAT THEY SHOULD FEED ME''' "' VERILY ALLAH IS THE ALL-PROVIDER, OWNER OF POWER, THE MOST STRONG'" quran 51:56-58. . . . . . . . . . . So brother, i really love u and Allah has done a great favour on u for him exposing u to islam, that is why am telling u all this. . . The things that will save u from this hell fire are just too easy to do. . . . . . Beleive in Allah and his massanger (mohammad SAW), perform d daily salat prayers, fast during ramadan, give charity, perform pilgrimage to macca (if u ve d means), do good deeds that Allah has ordained for u, leave away all d evil that Allah has forbiden u. . . . And u will be successful in this life and in d here after. . .

    • @ Laibah and Trueblood: Laibah, your comment reminds me of something I grew up hearing and which is best translated as: " You can even find God if you look/seek hard enough".....we should open up the beauty of Islam to others who show even an iota of interest and who knows, that little encouragement may be the only thing needed for Allah to fully open their heart to Islam. After all, as He says in the Quran: "Allah is the turner of the hearts"

  10. Hydroheat, what is it that frightens you? Perhaps if you could explain a little more, we will be better able to guide you inshallah (God willing).

    Whatever it is, a word of advice - don't rely on the media on ANY information regarding Islam. In your search, stick to the Quran and life of the Prophet and his ways (which is called Sunnah). Do not even judge Islam by any wrongdoings of Muslims. God willing you will see the truth in it and find inner peace, (ameen).


    • @ Hydroheat: As Faith said, don't judge our religion by the actions of some of its followers who are prominently misrepresenting it, but judge from reading its true source, i.e the Quran and sunnah (life of the Prophet)
      May Allah show you the right path and guide you to it. Ameen.

  11. dear mr.

    you are in the situation of one of the young companions of the prophet[saww] before he became muslim, his name was Abuu Talhah from the banuu najjaar tribe of the city of madinah.

    this man called Abuu Talhah was a very very noble, influential, well known, famous figure in madiinah.
    he was a nonmuslim, but he fell in love with a muslim woman who was a tremendoes companion and one of the most desirable, respected woman of madeenah.she was a perfect muslimah, believeing woman, he was a nonmuslim.

    Her name was Al-Ghumaysaa or Ar-Rumaysaa or Ar-Ramlah or Sahlah, better known as Umm sulaim bintu milhaan an-najjaariyyah al ansaariyyah [ whom Allaah is pleased with].

    she was the mother of Anas ibn maalik [ra], a close companion, Scholar, servant of the propeht[saww].

    she was one of the few women of the ansaar whom accepted islaam first, and these are the best.

    Umm sulaim was first married to a rich bussiness man called maalik ibn nadhar, when he heard she became muslimah, he didnot like it at all, he started to abuse her, insult her, shout at her, and even started violence in the house, but she stood her ground and was patient.she kept on calling him to the deen, but he would reply very rudely, and she would tell him that he just couldnot comprehend the treasure she found [islaam].
    then maalik got even more angry/abusive when Umm sulaim started teaching her son Anas about Allaah and his religion, so one day maalik went out to one of his bussiness trips in syria, and he was murdered and robbed by some of his enemies.
    after anas's father died, she dedicated him to the prophet[saww] to be his servant and to be with him all day for 10 years.

    so it was known in madeenah that Umm sulaim was a widow, so Abuu talhah who was an opportunitist, became filled with joy, because he had known about the desirable, attractive qualities Umm Sulaim possesed, such as
    extreme beauty
    good leneage
    good manners

    Abuu talhah himself was one of those fortunate men whom every woman dreams to have in her lap.
    he was one of those lucky men who WoWwed everysingle woman in the city.the women would fight over him as he was
    he was young
    he was handsome
    he was very rich/wealthy
    he was of noble/good manners
    he was a ladies man
    he was very charming
    he was generous
    he was loving
    he was caring
    he was gentle with women
    he was intelligent
    he was of good leneage
    he was physically built
    he was strong/brave
    he was tall
    he was a cheif of his tribe
    he was loved by his people
    he was a night
    he was a night in shinning armour [literally]
    he always smelt of the best/most expensive perfumes/oils available and left a strong trace of it whereever
    he just had everything in this world
    except faith, which is everything in the sight of God.

    so he went to Umm sulaim, and asked for her hand.
    Umm sulaim was very flabbergasted, happy by this gesture.

    and she replied "oh Abuu talhah, i am like all other women, i would love to have you,I swear by Allaah your kind is never ever rejected, no sane woman would ever reject you, but i am a believing woman, and you are a disbelieving man, you are not allowed for me, leave!

    so abuu talhah, thought it was about money, and did not take her seriously as his kind cant be rejected, so he ran to his house and got gold and silver, and laid them out infront of umm sulaim, BUT SHE REPEATED THE SAME ANSWER, your kind is not rejected, but you are a disbeliever, leave.

    so he left and kept comming back, untill she said to him, that her dowry, gift for marraige would be his ubmission to God [if he becomes muslim] and she did not want any yellow or white metals [gold and silver]
    and then after a while he studied the religion of islam [subbmission to Allaah and peace] and became one of the best companions.

    AND just so that no one thinks he became muslim for Umm sulaim, the prophet[saww] saw him comming and said
    "he comes Abu talhah, and his face is shining with faith"
    so abu talhah submitted to Allaah and got the woman he wanted, thus got the best of both worlds, and their union brought great respect and fortune and fame to them.

    since you are not sure about becomming muslim, i would advice you to get up at the middle of the night, and beg god to guide you to that which is best, and Allaah answers all suplications from those in need.

    i respect you as you came asking for some advice and for respecting the boundries of the religion of this girl, it shows you really really care for her, unlike many other nonmuslims who dont respect the religion of those muslim girls and they become a source of trail and tribulation for them.

    i hope you become like Abuu talhah, meaning your heart becomes illluminated with faith, and you thus you get the woman you want, and become happy together,

    if not, then there is someone else out there for you.

    infact if you choose not to become muslim, but you leave this girl out of respect, Allaah will reward you in this world by giving you a nonmuslim wife whom you will be well pleased with.

  12. I haven't read about all the responses or your replies, but I have a question from reading your initial post

    You are asking about marriage, which is a huge committment, and that to to a Muslim (look at the Muslim divorce is nearly a quarter that of American marriages), yet you are afraid to commit, not because of uncertainties about the religion, but because of committment. Isn't that a bit of a catch-22 situation? If I were your spouse, wouldnt you think I would want to see committment in a spouse?

  13. Alsalam Alikom (Peace be upon you);

    You answered your own question my friend. A Muslim woman can only marry a Muslim man. What I would suggest is you focus on what is more important for you in life and what do you want to do with your life. What if you revert to Islam and then you two do not get along, will you change or quit religion again? There are many important things in life than just than one person that you think for the time being that you can not live without, so please think carefully and wisely.
    As far as being afraid of Islam, not sure what caused that for you! might be the upbringing, might be the media, people, books, etc. But you seem to be a person with hunger for knowledge and information, so make you own decision my friend and I pray to ALLAH to have you as a Muslim brother (God Willing) not just a humanity brother 🙂

    Alsalam Alikom

  14. Hydroheat,

    Sounds really stupid I know but I too was very afraid to accept Islam. I had the Quran by Yusif Ali for a period of one year before I even opened it up! I just didn't know what to expect and was a lot like yourself. That was 30 years ago. Being American, I approached an American Muslimah and told her of my fear of Islam and "how do I know if it is for me?" She told me if I were to read anything, read the Quran. I finally opened up the Quran and read ...I could not put it down. I was fascinated and in love with the beauty and peace which the holy Quran brought to my heart ...a tranquility that I had never known. Honestly, from my own life experience...this is how you will know. I accepted Islam into my heart and never looked back. It is not just a religion, it is a way of life.

    My advice to you is to get a copy of the Quran by Yusif Ali (best translation ever) and read till your heart is content. Take some time and look within yourself and ask, "what is it that I am looking for?" Have questions? Go to a local masjid and seek out someone who can help you and answer questions you may have. Above not accept Islam as a way to simply be with this muslim sister. Be true to yourself and to her. The very best to you, may you find a peace through the reading of the Quran that you have never known.


  15. Hi, i a finall year student of uniben, im a christain there is this muslim lady, im dating, i love her so much, i want to marry her, what are the cateria for me to marry her. If we get married i wll allow her practice her religion.

    • Oshoke, you cannot marry her. It is flatly prohibited for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man.

      Wael Editor

      • yes you are prohibited from doing that . please dont do islam as you like...just like the film my name is khan did...ruining islam....islam marrying non-islam ...are they crazy or something?!

  16. Hello Oshoke kingsley,

    A muslim woman can marry no one other than a muslim, sorry but this is one of Allah's laws and no one can change it.

    Have you thought about looking into Islam, taking time to read up and understand the true religion, not as the media portrays it these days.

    lslam has rules and laws as much as it may come seem strange or difficult to a non-muslim to digest, it is there for a purpose.


  17. Hi all my friends ....
    I will explore something different to you ....

    I think religion is the thing which creates a division between HUMAN....
    This term was created by the kings for different workers ....
    And now we are greatly affected by it....
    GOD is one ... u'r parents ....Never hurt them!
    To love someone and to be loved by someone you love is EVERYTHING! Never hurt u'r LOVE ...
    Be 90% of u'rself and give 10% to GOD for helping you out of poorest situation...

    And remember your good work will bring your future towerds yourself !!
    RELIGION is NOTHING infront of LOVE ....
    So think of this alone .. and you will get answer...i'm sure....

    • Truth,

      'Give just 10% to God' - these are your words. Yet you claim to believe in the existence of God.

      The only reason why you are alive, or have the ability to think, see, hear, feel, speak; talk and the only reason why your heart beats, your kidneys clean your blood, your liver breaks down your food and causes it to become energy, your brain allows you to choose; that your body comes near to death every night as you rest and then re-wakens each morning, that you are able to relieve yourself instead of everything clotting inside you; that the sun rises and sets each morning and evening and the seasons change allowing crops to grow to feed us, that we have roofs over our heads and a warm bed to lay in each night, that the ships sail in the sea without drowning and so many countless blessings which we do not even know of.

      Yet you think that all we owe God, is 10% of ourselves; this is pure ingratitude. If this is truly what you think, then you should change your name from 'Truth' to 'Blind'.

      SisterZ Editor

    • Truth br./sis.,

      “Did you think that We (Allah) had created you in play (without any purpose), and that you would not be brought back to Us?”

      ''We created them not except with truth (i.e. to examine and test those who are obedient and those who are disobedient and then reward the obedient ones and punish the disobedient ones), but most of them know not”

      ''We created not the heavens and the earth and all that is between them except with truth, and for an appointed term. But those who disbelieve, turn away from that whereof they are warned”

      ''Verily, in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the alternation of night and day, there are indeed signs for men of understanding.''

      ''Those who remember Allaah (always, and in prayers) standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and think deeply about the creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying): Our Lord! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to You! (Exalted are You above all that they associate with You as partners). Give us salvation from the torment of the Fire”

      ''Who has created death and life that He may test you which of you is best in deed. And He is the All-Mighty, the Oft-Forgiving”

      One of the greatest reasons for which Allaah has created mankind – which is one of the greatest tests – is the command to affirm His Oneness (Tawheed) and to worship Him alone with no partner or associate. Allaah has stated this reason for the creation of mankind, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 

      “And I (Allaah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)” fact above ^ is obvious truth.

      Source: Quotes taken from Quran (translated to English)

    • TRUTH , shame .... How can u give 10% to God? And 100% percent to love? If it wasn't for God there wouldn't be love he created it his the master mind behind it and if he gave it to u he can take it away swell wu guided u thru the process of birth? Love ? Wer was love that time? Wu will guide u thru the process of death? Where will (worldly) love be that time ? Your whole existence is in the hands of God you should fear him love him and love for him is the greatest love that will ever exist ....

    • It's so sad you give god 10%? donot forget that every second you breath it's because of Allah. I will give you one little suggestion think before you go to sleep that "Sleeping is similar to death. That is why sleeping has been linked to death, and waking with life. When preparing to sleep we should fear that may be our eyes close and do not open again. This has happened many times ; hence we should ask Allah (The Exalted) for forgiveness of our sins as it is not good to do so without."

      May Allah bless you

  18. "Praise be to Allaah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of tge worlds; Most Gracious, Most Merciful; Master of the Day of Judgment. You do we worship, and Your aide do we seek."
    Qur'an Surah Al-Fatiha 1:2-5

    "Has there not been over Man a long period of Time, when hevwas nothing - (not even) mentioned? Verily We created Man from a drop of mingled sperm, in order to try him: so We gave him (the gifts) of Hearing and Sight. We showed him the Way: whether he be grateful or ungrateful (rests on his will)."
    Qur'an Surah Al-Insan 76:1-3

    "Not on earth nor in heaven will you be able (fleeing) to frustrate (His Plan), nor have you, besides Allaah, any protector or helper."
    Qur'an Surah Al-Ankabut 29:22

    Allaah knows best!

    Khuda Hafiz

    Sister Hafsah

  19. Hello, I understand your situation. I'm converted to Islam. After that in short time got some proposals for marriage from the guys who were not Muslims, so I never accepted them. Therefore, one thing you must keep in mind that Muslim woman will never marry any non-Muslim man, if she truly fears God. And second thing, when it comes to Islam, sure it is the Religion of peace. You only have to take Shahada, which are two sentences (need to accept it in your heart and brain), you need to speak with the faith in only One God and with the intention of leaving out blasphemy. But main thing is you convert for the Sake of God, not to just marry that woman. And for that you don't need to go front of 50 or 100 people. If you like to do so then you can, but its not must. And according to Islam, you do not need to change your name. If you like and you want to then you can, but again it is not must. I would say that you go to the people who are knowledgeable and trustworthy when it comes to the knowledge of Islam. Because there are some misguided people, who think that they are doing something right but in fact they might be doing something that is not acceptable in Islam at all. And do not just go to library and pick up any book that gives information about Muslims or Islam, because in this world there are so many people who will give their own views in their books/blogs (that can very easily make you so confused). As I said find knowledgeable people. And once you have converted to Islam then you can ask her to marry. I wish you convert to Islam and you both can get married with each other. But in any case, she or her family says no for marriage, then do not be discourage, or leave Islam (stay steadfast to Islam until your death). There are so many Muslim women out there who are looking for a nice Muslim man, so you will surely find one. All the best.

  20. Dear brothers and sisters!
    Friends and not-Friends 🙂

    i request all to pray for me and the one i love very much and desire to marry her, that Allah make us one, life partner in both worlds and ease out all the obstacles in our life and make us strong to get through all the ups and downs in our lives, so we get together once and for the rest of our lives.

  21. I do love a muslim girl as well.

    However there 3 things that I do not understand.

    1) In a country like Malaysia, if you were to marry a muslim girl, you have to convert to Islam. It is not just because the religion says you have to, it is also part of the constitution of the country that you are forced to convert regardless. You can't register your marriage lawfully in Malaysia.

    2) Once you have converted to a Muslim, you can't change your religion anymore. Again, that is part of the constitution.

    3) If you are born a Muslim, you are forever a Muslim. You can't change your religion.

    Is that a true teaching of Islam? Or is that something that is politically driven? Why would God wants to force somebody into a religion?


    • 1) Dear brother Venn , in Islam we have four 'mazhab" to follow. In Malaysia , we follow mazhab shafie. ( you should ask religious person if you want to know more ). and example in country like Indonesia , islam can marry non-muslim.I dont know which mazhab they follow I also dont understand the copcept that being used by indonesian.

      2) if you are born a muslim , you are forever a muslim. You cant change your religion and if you change your religion thats totally unforgivable unless you repent yourself towards Allah.

      Islam is not a forceful religion. Many other religon think us as terrorist or something and that makes us feel very sad. Is it advised before you convert into islam , you should look into it very deeply. go to mosque ask for an advice or read Quran with translation . We dont force you guys to convert into Islam , but as soon as you get into Islam you will get the peace you,ve been looking for. Like what above comment , dont just get into islam because of a girl you love and that will make you lose yur faith towards Gods and Prophets. Get into Islam because of you love this religion. If you think youre dont have faith in this religion , just stay in your old religon.

      . Thank you for reading.

    • Hi Venn

      I will try to answer your questions as best I can:

      1. Islam forbids Muslim women from marrying non-Muslim men for several reasons, an important one being the status of the husband as the head of the family who is responsible for the upbringing and education of the children. So, regardless of whether the constitution of any country allows this or not, this ruling must be adhered to by every Muslim, with the awareness that breaking Allah's rule is more serious than breaking the law of any country.

      2. It is not true that when a Muslim decides to abandon his faith and become a disbeliever, he is to be punished by an Islamic law in this world. No doubt he will be punished by Allah in the hereafter unless he repents before his death, but it is not compulsory for him to be subjected to punishment by Muslim authorities in this world. This has happened even during Prophet Muhammad's time. A man reverted to Islam, then left the Muslim faith and returned to his previous belief, and Prophet Muhammad was aware of this happening. He (peace be upon him) did not take any action against the man. No action was taken against the man because he left Islam silently and peacefully at his own free will without showing enmity against Islam. On the other hand, also during the Prophet's time, another man who left Islam was hunted down and punished because not only did he leave Islam, he showed open enmity and treachery against Islam and the Muslims upon leaving the Islamic faith. You must understand that historically the Malaysian constitution was drawn up by the Reid's commission chaired by Lord William Reid, a non-Muslim and British colonial agent at that time, and the committee did not consist of any outstanding Muslim scholar. Three commission members were British non-Muslims, and two were Muslim by name (one from India, the other from Pakistan) but the names were not those of any renowned Muslim scholar with good Islamic standing and knowledge. The constitution itself was not based on any prior Islamic constitution, certainly not the constitution that was drawn up by Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) when he set up the government in Madinah. The Prophet's constitution did not have any such ruling like in the Malaysian constitution with regard to Muslims leaving the faith.

      3. Your third point also only relates to Malaysian rules, not Islamic rules. The question of one's faith relates to a person's heart, and no human being can stop another human being from believing or disbelieving in something. At the end of the day, we are all accountable to Allah alone with regard to our beliefs. As a Muslim, I pray to Allah that He keeps me steadfast in His path, i.e. the path of Islam, because Allah has declared in the Quran that Islam is the only one true faith, and there is no reason whatsoever for me not to believe in what He says. However, I cannot dictate the heart of others. I can only call upon them, including your good self, to the path of Islam, to save them from the torment of Hellfire in the hereafter. If they sincerely use the intelligence that Allah has bestowed upon them to seek the truth, then they will find their way to Allah's path, i.e. Islam.

  22. umm, is it absolutely necessary to convert to ISLAM to marry a muslim girl??
    I fell in love wid a girl. Wanna spend my whole life wid her. Things are so tough..

    • sam, yes, it is absolutely necessary. Either that, or break it off with her. However, if you convert it should be sincere.

      Wael Editor

  23. Which religion do you follow ? This might perhaps help us answer more better?

  24. Ee Venn Soh, thats actually a misconception. We do not 'only live once'. We live 'twice'; once now and then for eternity in the Hereafter. Our lives are not superficial - meaning we do not just live, die and then wither away. We live, die, will be raised again on the Day of Judgement. And that is when we will be held accountable for our actions on earth and likewise rewarded for our good deeds.

    Muslims believe strongly in the Hereafter and our actions in this life are 'supposed' to be influenced by our desire to obey Allah and attain Paradise.

    SisterZ Editor

  25. Wats wrong in my religion

    To begin with, Hinduism is pantheistic, uninterested in converting unbelievers, an immense aggregation of different gods, rites, superstitions, etc. Basically, Who is your God ? How many gods ? Who are the messengers and prophets? Rebirth ? Karma ? Holy book ? Trinity ? Heaven cosmology ? Devil as fallen gods ? Guru ? Worship place ? Caste ? Cow or other foods ? Holy days ? Etc etc. Completely different and contradictory from Islam. Therefore Islam and Hindu are never nearly fit together. Totally, different. Even muslim men aren't allowed to marry hindu women. Everything is wrong it seems.

    Dun you think love should be given a chance to survive beyond religion....our kids should be bestowed wid the beauty of ISLAM and my religion. Why cant we co-exist??

    I'm not sure what your religion teaches you about God, but in Islam, worshiping God(Allah) is the purpose of our creation. He put us in this world to test our faith, character, patience etc and the best among us will be rewarded with paradise and the unbelievers and bad people will be punished in hell fire.

    Talking about ' love ', know that God (Allah) created ' love ', this beautiful gift comes from God. So are you trying to imply that ' love ' should be given a chance beyond God ( religion ) and thereby dis-obey God, transgress His law and live our life by following our whims and desires ? I'm sure thats not what your religion taught you. From an Islamic point of view, being a muslim, we must submit our will to God, we must trust in Him and we are sure that by obeying Him, following His law etc we can gurantee a happy blessed life in this world and paradise in the next. But chasing love, by ignoring divine command, we can gurantee a big seat in hell fire. The purpose of this life is not to find a ' love ' and get married lol. The purpose of this life is to worship and please our Creator Allah. For that we must obey him.

    It is forbidden for muslim men or muslim women to marry hindus. Period. We are never compatible even though we might testify 'true love' because if this sort of marriage takes place then you'll have many oppositions, but the main opposition who would destroy this sort of marriage and the people is God. Women has a special place in Islam. They have certain rights after marriage which cannot be given by non-believers. They have to have a believing husband to help her book a ticket in paradise which cannot be acheived by non-believers ( God told that non-believers will beckon you (muslim girls) to hell fire ). Muslim women needs a muslim leader, a role model for her children. One purpose of marriage is to enlarge the muslim ummah, which cannot be done by her marrying a hindu. Teaching children Islam and Hindu can only gurantee a corrupt future with mixed teachings between religion thus making the women punishable by God for transgressing. She needs a muslim husband who would solve problems or issues using Quran and hadith and not other scriptures etc etc. For us Muslims, we fear God, we fear His severe punishments and thats one reason we obey His command in Quran. But for those arrogants who wish to transgress the limits set like Iblees himself, can start crying for the punishments they bought themselves both in this world and the next insha'Allah.

    Islam is the only religion acceptable in the sight of God ( Allah ). He chose Islam for humankind. He guides whomsoever He wills.

  26. I'm a Muslim girl and I'm in love with a Hindu boy. I've tried talking to him about Islam and he says that he'll never be able to feel the conviction and love fr Allah SWT as much as he currently feels for his gods. I met him at a young age and fell in love with him and it has been 2 years and he is a great person I would like to see my future with, only if Allah SWT wills him to be a Muslim. I want to know what I can do to guide him the right way and conform to Islam. I need your advice my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters.
    Everything breaks down within me as I truly love him, but not in the expense of my devotion and love for Allah SWT and my beautiful religion.

    • Sister,
      There is nothing you can do except save yourself from eternal pain that may face by disobeying Allah (swt). It won't be easy breaking up but worldly pain is nothing compared to hell fire, indeed you have made a mistake being too young but now that you have realized that it was wrong, step away from him. Repent and seek forgiveness and promise never to go back to that lifestyle again, premarital relationships are haram besides there is no future since this man has blatantly refused to become Muslim by studying Islam. If he wanted then I would have said to you that break up and suggest him to Islamic Center where they could help him with his conversion.

      If you need detailed answers than sign in and write your question as a separate post with full details and it will be answered on it's turn iA.


      • Thanks alot for your reply Muhammad1982. But I failed to say that, it's not that he is unwilling to convert. He doesn't mind but wants alot of information and questions to be answered which I am I sadly incapable of. I wish I could refer him to someone or find out from someone how I could teach him the right path.
        As he is open to it, but just needs a person to guide him in the right way and answer all his queries about our faith.
        As much as I am embarrassed to say this, I take you as a brother and confess that I find it hard to leave him. I pray to Allah SWT in all my prayers to guide him in the right path and how him the way. I feel that Allah SWT would not have destined me to feel so strongly for someone for no reason. I feel a calling to make him convert. My question here is, what should I do to bring him to the path of Islam. Please do let me know by your advice brother Muhammad1982. A very humble request.

  27. Hey,

    I asked u a few certain possibilites in response to which u hav put forward a very rude way of answering, to which again i can lambast you. But i wont..that makes the first difference

    Rude way ? Like what ? Prove me a line from my post . And what ' makes the first difference ' ? You've already verbally attacked me lol so basically you've just contradicted your own self. Just when I thought, you couldn't act more juvenile.

    Next, yes, we hav many Gods, but that should not be a laughing stock, because u urself said u wanna increase ur people(is this a tug of

    Where in my post did I insult or added ' LOL ' when reffering to your beliefs ? How on earth did you conclude that I laughed ? Or were you talking of your experiance in muslim environment ?
    Secondly, believing in many gods is a serious crime in Islam. It is unacceptable. Infact the first commandment in all three Abrahamic faiths is to believe in One God ( Allah ). Therefore, the core belief is totally different. So for a believer there is no room for match making in Islamic perspective.

    "Say: He is Allah, the One and Only!
    Allah, the Eternal, Absolute;
    He begetteth not nor is He begotten.
    And there is none like unto Him
    . ( Quran 112 )

    And you called us unbelievers. Oh i cant laugh anymore.

    This simple english doesn't need an explanation, but anyways since you're oblivious, I'll clarify. Muslims believes in Allah, His final messenger Muhammad, His holy book Qur'an and everything He ordained and so we are the believers ( Mu'min ). But those who does not believe in Allah, His final messengers, His book etc are unbelievers ( Mushrik ). Is it difficult to comprehend ?

    Further still, if u fail to realise, God is love and dear u r loling at it.

    You mean like ' Cupid ' ? Or something else ? And I didn't ' lol ' at love, I said the purpose of the existance of human is to worship God, according to Islam. The main aim is not to find a love and transgress God's law. That would be illogical now wouldn't it ? I'm talking about Islamic point of view, and so you're free to believe or not.

    Moving on, i just wanted to create an option of harmony between the two religions.

    and how would you propose that ? By marrying outside your religion ? Or by finding similarities ? It'll be interesting to know kid.

    islam doesnt allow me to marry a muslim girl, but the way u told me has told me ur mentality. Dun be a looser ok..

    Whats my mentality ? Is calling me a looser based on this statement I made ' Unbelievers will beckon you( muslim girls ) to hell fire ' ? Well then, the Lord of the worlds said "Muslim girls must not marry unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise". (Quran 2:221-interpretation). This verse is basically shown to those muslim women who fell into satan's trap wanting to marry non-muslim, you are free to ignore this verse if it disheartens you.

    And about corruption, how many times hav u lied, how many times hav u done a sin, how many times hav u hurt a person..u r corrupt, so pls dun lecture on this.

    You asked about teaching children both Islam and Hinduism, so don't try to put words in my mouth and change the topic kid. So basically, Teaching Islam and Hindu to children will corrupt the Muslim Ummah. We don't want that. Simple as that.

    Wow, this is not even a battle of the wits, you are exposing your beliefs and character in a very negative way kid. Control relax and enjoy the ride.

  28. I am in love with a Muslim women and I am a disciple of her religion: her profound respect for each and every being, her perseverance, her sensibility but I am not a disciple of Islam nor would I ever be a disciple of any religion nor any school of thought. How can it be possible for a mind to maintain a fixed/unchangeable representation of the world (in it's entirety) and become acquainted with new facts about it? Even if the holy scriptures of every religion were the truth revealed in plain day, how would I even begin to understand those texts if I have a fixed idea on what they are and what they mean? More specifically, if those scriptures are supposed to embed all there is to know about this world, wouldn't they be at least as diverse and complex as the world is right now? Wouldn't there be something presumptuous with someone that is constantly acting according to HIS UNCHANGING REPRESENTATION of what the scriptures mean?

    I am grateful to the Islamic culture for I can see how it has breed some of the dearest qualities I can find in the women I love but I won't embrace the word of Islam as the one and only truth, precisely because I want to know and love this culture and not summarize it in some nonsensical credo - I wish to remain critical about it.

    I really love this women with all my heart but I will not wear a disguise in front of her, I will not reduce this to a religious theatrical scene and neither will I force my views onto her so that she might discard her faith and spend her life with me (I am not an holy scripture either!). The only thing I can do, is be her one and true friend until the end.

    • Hello strav,

      It is your choice, be advised that Islam is the only religion acceptable with the Only True God, whether you accept or not, it is the truth. You have made an opinion but it maybe wrong. No man is perfect, everyone has flaws. This is the flaw of your thought. Instead of being thrown along with other disbelievers into the Hell Fire, if you consider Islam and study it, then ponder over the signs in the Quran and Hadith, you maybe Guided. So, I advise you to study Islam and reconsider your decision.

      Secondly, this Muslim girl is not allowed to meet you or have any relation with you. This is what her "culture" teaches her and she can not marry a non believer in any situation.

      If you study Islam and Allah opens your heart, and you accept Islam, you can become a Muslim and then reconsider your decision to be with her. She can marry you then.

      If you need any advise from us or any help, you can login and submit your post separately. We will try our best to help you if Allah Wills.

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

      • Hello Abu Abdul Bari,

        With all due respect, I would suggest that you read my post with some more attention as I precisely advocate not to maintain a fixed, irrevocable opinion on these matters but to always exert critical judgement. I have not chosen camp on either the atheist or religious side and I believe I never will: there are wonders to be known in most religions and philosophies and I will be a fool to neglect them. Besides when you say: "be advised that Islam is the only religion acceptable with the Only True God, whether you accept or not, it is the truth", this remains your humble interpretation of the Quran and should you stop to exert a critical judgement towards it, you will discard the one and only mean by which you came to acknowledge what it could even mean in the first place.

        "Instead of being thrown along with other disbelievers into the Hell Fire, if you consider Islam and study it ..." I am studying Islam (and appreciating it to some extent), but I also am a student of mathematics, I have read and studied The Baghavad Gita, the Tao Te King, The Bible, The Old testament, the Vedas, Nietzche, Wittgenstein, Socrates, Heidegger, Sartre, etc. I wish to contemplate and study not only the pages of some holy book but the universe that is around it. I like to believe that for a brief moment, a Muslim could mistake me for a true believer and at another moment, an Hindu or a Christian could make the same mistake - as I have been moved by wonders from all these religions.

        It is not because I toss an object at my friend that this object becomes a gift and it is not because I kneel and mumble some words that this kneeling and mumbling becomes a prayer; a gift is a gift and a prayer is a prayer because both are conscious acts with a precise intent. So if it's not the act but the spirit of that act that defines the commitment to an idea (the giving) or to a religion: must I really look and act like a Muslim to be part of Islam?

        The whole point with my previous post and this one is aimed at people like me who are in this difficult position of loving a Muslim person while not being accepted as one. I believe that it is with an open mind that I became aware of this person so very dear to me; I also believe that it would be a shame to replace this love and openness of mind with a religious masquerade that makes me false to the eyes of the very person I love. I can study Islam, I can appreciate it's beauties and act in a way that honours them but I cannot and will not blindly accept every statements of this religion only to disguise myself as a true Muslim. Lastly, because I respect and love her, I will not try to force her critical judgement in any special direction. At least for me, those are very hard things to do but they also are the only truthful way I can express my love to her (radiyallahu anha).

        • I have read your post and my comment still remains same. I mentioned that and perhaps some day you will understand it.

          To answer to your question: must I really look and act like a Muslim to be part of Islam?

          The answer is yes. acting like a Muslim involves practicing it. Practicing it means accepting that there is none worthy of worship but Allah and that Muhammad peace be upon him is His Final Messenger.

          You need not "follow" until you believe. And it involves rejection of all else that is worshipped beside Allah - The Only God.

          As a Muslim, the girl you mentioned is not allowed to be with you because Islam prohibits her from it.

          I don't think we can continue the discussion here as this page is not meant for that. All the best with your future. Should you believe we can help you in any way, please submit a separate post.

          Abu Abdul Bari

  29. I am too loving a muslim girl... And she also has interest in me...... But she hides the interest in me by saying that she doesnt love me..........but the true reason behind that is she is afraid that i am a non-muslim and even if we love,it would not end up in marriage..... help me what to do....

    • "Me", the only thing to do is end your relationship with her. It will only cause problems for her. A Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man, and if the community comes to know of your relationship it will shame her. And a premarital relationship is a sin in Islam. So leave the girl alone, that's best.

      Wael Editor

  30. Salaam. Many women come to Islam because they fall in love with a Muslim man. And even men have come to Islam after falling in love with a Muslim woman. Learn as much as you can about Islam and convert. There is nothing to be afraid of. God brought this sister into your life for a reason. The reason you probably love her so much is because of her Islam.

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