Islamic marriage advice and family advice

In love with shai

shia sunni unity

As for those who divide their religion and break up Into sects, thou hast no part in them in the least: Their affair is with Allah: He will in the end Tell them the truth Of all that they did. [Al-Qur'an 6:159]

I am a 18 years old sunni girl, i've been in love with a shai guy for too long and he share the same feelings. We're planing to get marry when it's the right time, the problem is that my parents refuse that marriage because they don't have faith about shai even so they don't know about him. I want to be with him for the rest of my life and be with him as a "wife" although we both know that it's very impossible to make this work and when i mean it's impossible it is, it will not work not even for 1%. He is a good guy and we are in the same age and we both share a strong true love. Another problem is that i dont have faith in shai but i can't change him so i accept the way he is and its ok for me. We agreed that our kids will be sunni if its come to faith but i am afraid they'll grow up and be like their father and i wont accept that for sure, i told him that and it looks fine for him. We tried to break up too many times but we just can't no matter how much we try we just end up back to each other.

What should i do? I'm not convinced with the idea of leaving him, no one of us do, and i really love him more than anything.

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6 Responses »

  1. hi u want to marry a shai and yet you don't won't ur kids being a shai really don't understand that anyway hope it all works out for you

  2. It is haram for a muslim woman to marry a non muslim. Shias may not be non muslim but there is soooo much shirk in that religion it's hard to even consider them Muslim. Promises made before marriage mean nothing when push comes to shove he will have the authority in the house not u regardless of what he says now. You are right to have doubts about your kids future. Unless he becomes Sunni or just Muslim you cannot marry him. I also hope you're not considering running away or secret marriages cos that also is not allowed in islam

  3. Asalam alaikum sister,

    Faith is a huge part of connection between husband and wife. Sometimes if there is a small fight in the future, faith is one of the first things that will make the small fight into a big fight. If husband and wife do not see eye to eye on the basics of life, such as faith, it is very tough to stay together. Love can come and go between two people, but strong opinions on faith can make or break the relationship.

    Please be careful who you pick as a mate, because it changes your life, and the lives of your children. You are also very young at 18 to get married and stop your studies and have babies. A man who is good husband material will respect you and respect Allah swt, and wait for you. He should ask your father's permission and there should not be fights about basics like religion.

    So you have two ways to go:
    1) marry him and risk everything, creating problems with your family and possibly in the future with the you relationship too.
    Or
    2) drop him and find a husband who has the same basic views and opinions as you and your family, who will not start fights between you two and your families.

  4. Read your Owen word because you know the answers to the Question Allah knows best , I think you trying to find someway to stay together and you know there is no hope here and hereafter, Pray to Allah to find you Halal mate , Allah knows best , I think is test for you , are you going to choice your desire or Allah that's the Question sister May Allah guide you Amiin

  5. You want to be with him BUT DON'T WANT YOUR KIDS TO BE SHAI are you for real!. Have you forgotten he has rights as well. I strongly advise you to leave this man and marry a sunni he dont seem right for you and you already answered your questions for this reason. Cut all contact from this relationship this is no good. Your marriage to him will be fail with what you have written and its really unfair to love someone and yet you haven't accepted them for who they are.

    Listen to your parents they only want whats best for you.

  6. Slms Sister
    I am very disappointed in you and feel you are blinded by love over Islam.
    You choose him(Shia) over what your parents taught you, over the faith that guided u, over the Shabaas lived for Islam. These people say they are muslim but they heart say something else. They are trying to seperated the muslim world and you are already thinking of having childrens with them!!!
    What is your problem! Leave him if you care about our religon.

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