Incest with daughter?
Sexual abuse is a serious crime
Please advise. A muslim friend of mine has seen his daughter naked and she has seen her father nude and he had some times practiced physical (oral) sex (but not intercourse). She is 13 years old.
Please state what is the status for him, his marriage, and what should be done?
He has repented now and done taubah, and come on the right path.
- UHG
25 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
UHG,
What your friend has done is a serious sin and a crime. He should be reported to the authorities, and prosecuted. He belongs in prison.
Maybe your friend has stopped his behavior, maybe not. Sexual predators tend not to stop, instead they simply shift their predations from one victim to another. Regardless, he has damaged his daughter in a permanent way, even if you do not see the damage or scars right now. Children who are sexually molested are much more likely to become alcoholics or drug users, and to develop serious emotional problems later in life.
What your friend has done is illegal in every nation in the world. He has forfeited his right to be near his daughter or any other child.
Do you have the courage to report your friend? Maybe you want to "protect" your friend. But who will protect his daughter? Who will protect any other children he might have, or his nieces? They also have a right to justice.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Even if it is done in sleep if wrongly slept beside .in that if did only masterbating ..is death or killing or executimg is final solution..is there any forgiving of mistakes like this?
Munna, what are you talking about? The post was about a man committing incest with his daughter, not about masturbation.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I believe you are a Westerner. You r concept of right and wrong starts and ends with incest. You people very conveniently forget that your society and yourself must be advocating fornication with concenting adults. You even call it legal and two eople can go on having sex without wedlock and have children you call it their right.
Why you prejudge people who do incest and not fornication. You want to report him to police as child molester yet do not want to report your daughter or son having fornication because they are adults. You even encourage them on sleepovers.
Please don't be a hypocrite and change your ways or stop talking about one bad thing and not he other bad one.
Sardar, your comment is ridiculous. Who said we do not condemn zinaa? We do. However, this post is about incest, which is a much greater crime than just zinaa. Do not confuse one thing with another. One (zinaa) is a sin against oneself. The other is a crime of oppression, violence and abuse.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
oh snap fo real? report it man thats thats jus sick. you said He has repented now and done taubah? he probably jus sayin that to cover it up, he might still be doin those nasty things. REPORT HIM!!!
peace.......
UHG,
Assalamu alaikum,
I agree with Wael and Ahmed. What your friend has done is a crime. He should be reported not only to the authorities, but his family needs to know also. He could have done this to other family members.
How do you think his daughter feels? A thirteen year old girl being forced to perform a sex act on her father? She could be emotionally scarred for the rest of her life. She may never have a normal relationship with a man because of what he did.
I am a father of three daughters, and this is something I could never think of doing. This man is disgusting. He is sick.
If this is a friend of yours then you need to do the right thing and report him. You have to tell his family as well because there may be other children involved who have been abused and molested.
You need to find a way to get the courage to report him. Predators don't stop that easy. His daughter needs to be protected and so do the neighborhood children and other family members.
Do the right thing. How will you feel if you find out that other children have been molested when you could have done something about it? The burden is now on you.
Ask Allah for guidance.
Your Brother in Islam
Abdul Wali
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
UHG,
How is it that you have come to know that your 'friend' has behaved in this apalling and sickeningly evil manner with his own child? How is it that you have accepted that he has repented and know that he is on the right path?
The perpetrator of such a hideous crime should be punished and removed from his daughter and away from all children.
As said above, evil doers of this nature never cease to look for ways to commit these terrible acts. He needs to be proescuted and be labelled for what he is. Why is he worried about his marriage and status? What about his daughters state of mind?!
I admit that I wondered about the same things that "Hopeful" has asked. I assumed that he had confessed to you, maybe confidentially. How did you find out?
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Plain and simple if this is true contact the police to investigate. There is a serious problem there!
Al humd Allah, many brothers and sisters are making comment but I feel that all of you fail to have consciousness of Allah. I personally do believe that a Muslim could do that even though I doubt that a Munafiq or Fasiq could have done it except a clear cut kafir.
Allah (SWT) said,( يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِن جَاءكُمْ فَاسِقٌ بِنَبَأٍ فَتَبَيَّنُوا أَن تُصِيبُوا قَوْماً بِجَهَالَةٍ فَتُصْبِحُوا عَلَى مَا فَعَلْتُمْ نَادِمِينَ )
O you who believe! If a rebellious evil person comes to you with a news, verify it, lest you harm people in ignorance, and afterwards you become regretful to what you have done.
However, the posting individual must have complain to the authority not to us if that individual does not have any hidden agenda. It would have been more appreciated if the question was direct and honest.
Dear All,
About how I came to know: He confided in me as he is my friend for over 15 years. He is saddened and full of guilt and ashamed that he has done this, and told me in confidence, to come out of it. Why I asked for advice: To know what the status of his marriage is. I have already got Fatwas from other Fatwa sites and Islamic scholars on this. Thank you all for your consideration. Please understand that it's in the Quran, that Allah the Greatest forgives all sins, even zina, except Shirk, if one repents and comes on the straight path. That is what he has done. He is basically a very good person as I know him. Please note that he hasn't done Zina. Two or three times that had happened that I placed in my query. I asked in the light of Islam, not personal opinions. It was expected that a Religious Scholar would advise me. But now I have left it to him. I have told him about the various Fatwa decrees and that settles it. Allah is the Greatest. He forgives if one does Taubah and comes of the Right Path...
Thank you everyone, still, for your attention.
Regards.
UHG,
At the end of the day, one cannot play down the extremely abhorrent nature of sexual abuse inflicted on a child. You didn't get the answers you wanted and that's why you have displayed an attitude of superiority in your reply. I have read on this site they do not issue fatwas. It is simply people sharing advice and opinions, no one claims to be a scholar, although some of the Brothers and Sisters display an extensive knowledge.
If your friend had done this with another woman, it would be classed as zina. Zina is forbidden sexual acts done between a man/woman and another who is not the spouse. So, going by that, the sexual abuse your friend done to his own child would fall under zina. Besides sexual abuse done to a child is worse than zina with another woman. At least another woman would be giving her consent and is of adult age!
If someone has repented that does not mean that they will escape punishment. We as Muslims, follow Allahs laws and we are expected to follow the laws of the land we reside in, as long as they don't conflict with our faith. Thus if he is truly sorry, his actions should still be reported to the authorities.
We can know people for a lifetime, but never really know them. Why let emotions cloud your judgement of what is right? He also did this a few times before repenting! The child's mother has a right to know also. How can you say he is a 'very good person', oh except that he forced his daughter to commit a sex act!
I still don't understand why he is so concerned with the status of his marriage, rather than the aftermath of what he did to his own daughter. Why didn''t he confine himself to his wife in the first place?
Yes Allah is Ar-Raheem, The Most Merciful. However, we cannot be complacent and assume that we can automatically be forgiven. And only Allah knows if someone is truly sorry.
This matter is very disturbing for me, think what affect it has had on the innocent child.
if he is truly repented then he believes in allah the all mighty. then if that's the case he needs to do all right by his religion. Be honest with him self and his wife and report him self in .if someone else had done this to this man's child. would he report him?
What the brother or sister above has said is right. Even if he has asked for forgiveness it still should be reported to the police. You may think he is my friend how can I report him. Let me tell you that sexual predators usually strike again. it is dangerous to just let this slide. With his own child for Allah's sakes. How can a person complete such a repulsive act of Zina. Not only that but even though you haven't said anything i do believe this was forced which means it's even more of a ghuna. If you won't call the police at least inform his wife. Having a good friend is not worth having a possible sexual predator out there. I do not know though on the situation. If Allah has forgiven him though I don't know if a worldly punishment should be handed down or not but legally you should. May Allah Subhanna Wa Ta'alla forgive me if I advised anything wrong.
I don't wanna point fingers but this question and person asking are very suspicious. Sorry to say. I wouldn't want to be this so called molester friend. Why a friend goin thru so much trouble of finding out his friend punishments. Only Allah knows his true punishment. It u truly call urself his "friend" put him behind bars.
Salaams Brokenhearted,
I had this thought straightaway but was hesistant to say. If the perpetrator of this evil act of child abuse is truly sorry, why isn't HE the one asking the questions on his chances of forgiveness?
I can't imagine any person not taking action after hearing a 'friend' confess to that, unless they condone such actions or see them as insignificant events.
A child is a defenceless being, totally reliant on their parents/carers. If this child had the power to speak up then there would be no way that the matter could be swept under the carpet as UGH hopes.
I pray to Allah to help ease the suffering of all the innocent children around the world who are suffering real suffering.
Regards
Hopeful
I agree with u hopeful Inshallah the innocent will stop suffering. And the criminals shall pay for praying on the young ones who can't stand up and fight for themselves. World is comin to an end that's all I have to say.
Hello Everyone. Thanks again. As you advised, I had asked my wife to inform his wife. Local Fatwas were also forwarded to him. He didn't ask him self as he is ashamed and saddened. He has repented. Let's now put an end to his. I may not be posting any more. Leave it to his family. Take care.
UHG, I'm very disappointed in you for your desire to cover this up.
What if it were your daughter he had molested? Would you still be willing to leave her alone with him, trusting his "repentance"? Would you accept his shame as sufficient? The authorities should be made aware. You do not know if his repentance is sincere, or if he has done this to others. Furthermore, his repentance will not erase the psychological damage done to his daughter, maybe for life.
You too should be ashamed. I am almost as disgusted with you as I am with him.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I agree with weal! You can repent that's between you and the all might, but this man has committed a crime and he needs to be punished for what he's has done.if his friends chooses to walk away and hide this he is as guilty as he is.would he except that if it was his daughter. I think not. This is nit about hatred. This is you c omitted a crime you have to pay for it.this girl is scarred for life.him repenting is between allah and himself. But he still committed a shame full crime therefor he needs to be accountable for.
To the author of this comment, I do not feel comfortable you calling yourself 'Allah' and I do not think it is fitting either. This name is for The Lord and Creator alone and no-one else. I am sure you do not think you are Allah, but even so, it is not right, so please change your name to something more suitable.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Senior Editor
I agree, and also his comments were offensive. I have removed his comments.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I am not sure how i stumbled upon this site & particular question.
I am not muslim, so I know very about sharia etc.
While the father may have committed a sin in the eyes of both Allah and the law of the country, I feel the daughter needs to report the father to the authorities if she so chooses.
The father may have repented, but this type of behavior tends to repeat itself.
I feel one must consider the daughter above all.
Reporting the offense to the authorities may be even more detrimental to the daughter's well being.
Perhaps the matter should first be discussed with an Imam for consideration prior to engaging the authorities.
This type of incident has the very real potential to rip a family apart.
If the matter is reported to the authorities the father will be prosecuted. However, good legal counsel is often able to "free the guilty". Should the father be found not guilty in a court I feel the ramifications for the girl will be horrific - given she may have to testify in court against her father.
It is indeed a very difficult situation with no easy solution.
Peace to all.
Considering this post is nearly 11 years old I am hoping something was done about this situation.
I refuse to believe that the original poster's friend could have escaped justice from commiting on of the most heinous crime a human being can commit to another.
My prayers are with the little girl that was sexually abused at the time and hope she's in a better place.