I’m a Catholic Filipina, he’s an Indian Muslim – Can it Work?
Muslim and Christian Marriage
Hi, I am a Filipina, I have a boyfriend who happens to be an Indian. We havent met each other yet, he has plans of coming in my country on december. We communicate through chat, txt and call.
He's calling my parents and my brother, he's not afraid of sharing his feelings for me to my parents. He called them to introduce himself.
He's now based in Dubai, a civil engr and planning to transfer in Canada next year after meeting me and my family. He has plans also of having our engagement party on december then after he gets his residency in Canada he'll come back to marry me or vice versa..
When he is in India, he constantly calls me, I talked to his ammy but just hi and how are you cause Hindi is their medium, but you know, i felt the warmth and acceptance from her.
However, Im kinda scared of the fact that he's a muslim and i know that we'll be having tough times when we get married, I mean about some issues. My boyfriend doesnt want to give up his religion and neither do i. But hes not requiring me to convert into Islam. He said that lets respect each others religion, i fell inlove with you without asking your religion, he also said that I will let you worship your own and if you wish me to go with you, ill accompany you wholeheartedly.
I have all the assurance from his mouth through his words, but I could feel and sense his sincerity and commitment.
He's also inviting me to go to India and hes hoping that I'll find his family good hosts because they are all kind and educated people. He also said to his ammy that he'll gonna choose a lady to marry on his own. He always say how much he loves me, how much he's longing to see me in person but i happened to be a law bar reviewee so i will not be able to accompany him or give him the luxury of time when hes here, my bar is on october.
I do trust him and i love him. I have also quran, i have also fraternal brods and sis in the college of law, i find muslims the sweetest and sincere persons..
Do you think it is possible for him to really marry me? Is a religion really an issue always with regard to marrying the person you respect the most, you love the most and willing to conquer everything ahead of you? Does religion really matter? Thank you.. I hope to hear from you. Alhamdullilah. Insha Allah!
- Charlize
Editor's Response
Charlize,
Thank you for writing to us. From an Islamic religious perspective, it is allowed for a Muslim man to marry a Christian (or Catholic) woman. Of course it is not allowed in Islam to have sexual relations before marriage, but since the two of you have not even met in person, that's not an issue.
It sounds like this man is sincere about marrying you. He has made every effort to get to know your family, and plans to bring you to India to meet his family as well.
As far as the question of whether or not a Muslim-Christian marriage can work, different people will give you different answers. Some will say that as long as the two people respect and love each other, they should be able to work out any differences.
In my own personal experience, it is difficult. A Muslim household must be free of pork or alcohol, but these are minor things. More importantly, what happens when children arrive? What religion will they be? Every parent naturally wants the children to follow his own religion. In Islam it's very important to us that our children be raised as good Muslims. If the children do not know Allah and Islam, then we have failed as parents.
I generally recommend that Muslims should marry Muslims only, especially when we (Muslims) live as minorities within non-Muslim societies. It's hard enough already to practice Islam (and raise Muslim children) when the broader society is non-Muslim; it gets even more difficult when the household itself is divided. I wonder if your boyfriend has considered these issues.
Ultimately, I cannot tell you whether a marriage with this man would work. You must pray for guidance, and judge the situation yourself.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
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Hello Charlize,
My uncle and aunt are from different religion and background- (arab and phillipino) and I can tell you that it works for them, because they both are not too deep in their religion- maybe agnostic but not strict on either of religious rules. They have 2 beautiful children, and they are amazing, but religiously they are not inclined toward anything.
As well, i have seen another case,again in my family- where a firm muslim married a firm christian and their children (2) grew up going to both places of worship- but decided to be christian for along time and then in adulthood became muslim.
So in conclusion:
But if you attend church every week and want them to pray in a catholic way, and he wants them to pray in a muslim way- it may be very confusing for the kids as they get really mixed messages. As Wael said, if both of you agree on a parenting vision then it can work, but talk about how you want to raise your children and see if you are compatible religious wise.
Hope it works out well.
Cheers,
Samira
Sorry but from my experience and from words i heared from people I know. Marriage between 2 different religions cannot workout in happy way since mentality and view of culture etc are different.Even though both my husband and I are from christians,we are not getting along quite well since we are born and rased in different contries(me Europe,he Middle East) and our countries have different views on things.
Of coures its up to you but anyways think about it well and all the best!
Peace be with you,amen!
P.S. I also agree with Samira. So please think about future kids too...
Dear all,
Let us welcome, this sister , to islam.
Pls get along with our brother dear charlize.
I havent seen a religion as forgiving and as helpfull as Islam.
For that matter Allah he has opened the doors of mercy, wekcome aboard ,
To the heaven on earth, Insha alla h
No questions pls have fun relief and comfort here . Flow of wordss said no question but u can always seek assistance even with any questions:)
Best Regards
Iqbal
I think that it can work, but certain discussions should be had regarding your husband's expectations of you though you are of a different religion. Will he only expect you to eat halal at home? Or would he desire of you to eat halal when you are not at home or attending functions with your family? I don't know if you drink, but would he want you to continue to drink? If you are attending a family function where drinking is occurring (such as a wedding) would he want you to be there? How does he feel about you working or socializing in a coed atmosphere? Is he okay with that or not? If you agree to raise any future children as muslim, how will you do this? Are you willing to forgo your traditions (christmas tree, Easter, etc) so as to not undermine your children's religious upbringing, or will you agree to expose them to both religious traditions? These are but some important questions to consider prior to marriage that may help reduce disagreements in the future.
Sister Charlize,
I have the same situation as your. I am a muslim Indian and my girl is catholic filipina.
Can you please share your experience, so that I can get some guidance from it.
Thank you
Hi im christian filipina and my fiance is emirati arab muslim and we are planning to get married but he is already married to his first wife. If we get married and il be his second wife how a out our marriage it will be legally recognize in philippines?
Tin, I doubt it, but I don't know for sure. You should consult with a civil attorney in the Philippines.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
..i hve same situation on yours... dats why i also search sums story like yours..for havimg an idea guidance..
Hi , can i ask you about my wife, were married in catholic she is going to dubai then she met a pakistan then my wife convert to muslim and she married to pakistan man, its illegal or legal to your religion?
hi. for example the girl gets pregnant without marriage. what will happen when the family of indian muslim comes to know about it? will they accept the baby?