Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Insecurity about my appearance leading to suicidal thoughts


Assalamualaikum Everyone,

I know insecurities are a normal problem as many of you might suggest. But thinking about suicide is not.

Recently I have been unusually obsessed over my face. I visit the mirror 20 times a day or more and pick out flaws from my face and body. It has become a daily routine. I cant help it. Somehow this urge keeps on pulling me to the mirror to stare at my face while I'm picking out my flaws and cursing myself. Surprisingly, I haven't ever been this observant about my looks.

I know I'm 16 and this is an age where girls usually start getting all perked up about looking good but this does not let me study on concentrate on more important things like my studies and Deen.

I feel ugly and deeply insecure about my appearance, to the point that it is causing depression, suicidal thoughts and self-harming.

- Tamara

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4 Responses »

  1. Ask Allah for forgiveness and mecy against shaitan that is shaitan leading you to hellfire please make dua

  2. Tamara better go to psychologist asap.

  3. Dear sister,

    It sounds like an OCD and the cause can be numerous of reasons. You should talk to someone about this.

  4. Salam alaykum sister,

    Everyone is a creation of Allah, therefore everyone and everything is beautiful inherently. You should keep in mind that the creation of man caused jealousy and arrogance within shaitan. Because Allah swt has granted mankind such a high status (i.e. The Quran that was given to us and the fact that we can read and use our brains) and is beautified with knowledge etc., one of the things shaitan will do is bring you down through insecurities about your appearance (this will lead to seeking validation from others through even haram relationships, wearing revealing clothes, in other words these thoughts will lead to real haram things). But know that you have always been beautiful because you breath and exist in the form that you are. Allah then took the time, if I may say it like this, to create you this way. What shaitan does with his whispers is to make you ungrateful, by even letting you despise yourself, unknowingly insulting Allah with these type of thoughts. Take peace with the thought that Allah loves you and wants you in the way you are. Think big, if you are concerned about your looks all the time then you are perhaps not fulfilling your obligations towards your parents, school etc. Your talents to do good for this world and humanity is wasted when you are obsessed with your looks, at least, in a way that makes you think only of yourself and not the billions of people around the world that are starving, sacrificing their lives, running from war and pain, losing family members. So Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, that you are alive and that you can be grateful for the fact that you can see with your eyes, the fact that you do not have a disease, the fact that your heart works and that you even have a skin and most importantly that you are Muslim. What I am trying to say is that you need to internalize Alhamdulillah and that there always people with worse situations, who would love to be in your luxury situation because they have such big problems that your problem is like nothing to them. Also, read and/or listen to the Quran every day, just spend at least 5 minutes with it, make your salah, make dua, and always, always seek protection from Allah swt. Just by saying Bismillah Rahman e Raheem on repeat you will feel more peaceful.

    Good luck, may Allah grant you and everyone else in a similar position success in this life and the next.

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