Intimacy problems in the marriage
Assamualaikum
My marriage life is 5 year and last 4 and half year we don't have physical relationship with my wife. She is saying if she got pregnant we can't bear child experiences. We live in with my wife parents. Every day she mourn about everything. I told we should start our own family not helping your parents. Now one day we argued and I told her younger sister that we don't have any physical relationship. I know in islam the is worst who disclose husband wife relationship. Now my question is in my situation can i not disclose this anyone so he or she can talk to my wife and tell her she is doing wrong?
Murshed
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Islamically finances should never be a reason not to have kids. You not having intimate relations for you wife for years is not normal. She needs to understand that. Try to talk to her agian about th is issue. Be sensitive and caring. Tell her is beautiful and that you want to enjoy her being your wife. If right now is not the right time for kids you can still have sex. Use birth control or other methods of contraceptives. If she is not open to the discussion then I would suggest have parties intervene. Talk to a local sheikh or marriage counselor. You have valid reasons for divorce but first try your best to have your wife understand.
Salaam Brother,
You can avoid having babies by using contraceptives such as condoms or birth control pills. But in Islam, lack of financial resources should not be a reason to not have children.
I suggest you try to have an intimate relationship with her while using contraceptives. Having physical relationship between husband and wife keeps the bond strong and increases love for each other. Once she starts loving and trusting you more then you can convince her to have children.
I don't understand how you have not dealt with this issue for more than 4 years. Having intimate relationship with ones spouse is a big part of marriage. If that is not happening then you have to do something and not just let it go on.
If you feel that the issue of you not having intimate relationship is affecting you personally and also affecting the marriage and if you have tried to solve the issue yourself and it isn't helpful then you can seek advise from an Islamic marriage counselor or any respected and knowledgeable elders in your family or any Sheikh or Imam in your locality whom you can trust.
Also, the most important thing is that you make lots of dua to Allah to make your situation better. Keep praying 5 times daily and Inshallah your problem will be solved soon.
May Allah grant you happiness in your marriage.
Well i live in a boring marriage as well most likely the mother and sister have told her to torture me.. i tried finding a second wife and was caught...i go to the gym i eat right iam 30yr old...wife is 3yr older i never been so uncomfortable like this...i think i will find another wife and live two lifes...she is violent breaks everything from lamps to tv and plates and pans...i dont kno what to do...either find a person that really want to be loved and treated like a princess... but i have 2 small kids i love too much and having suffering for a while....at this point i hate her mother and sister ....iam cursed with this problem...i can move on find a beautyful wife and make her the center of my world but my kids are the world to me.. i love her but iam lieing to myself she wont change and i kno i will look bad after all this..its a hard choice i kno too well
I never thought of a second wife and when my wife would bring up the subject after our nikah i changed the subject cause i never wanted to think about it...no i pretty much have no other choice but another wife...i have started to hate her at times ..i hate her family ...when dhe would break things her mother on the phone would say ...very good when u good she be good....that lady broke her daughters marriage as soon as she moved in now iam next on the list...these girls married in their 30s...too much time with mommy if u ask me....i will tell this all to my kids when they grow up how there mother family destroyed our lifes..i never wanted another wife but these people push me too much...but maybe she will learn later when she sees herself alone like her mother and sister all single.....iam so unhappy cause i think i should had married a younger wife and now stuck with a boring mature woman....